Name It to Tame It: How to Process Emotions 1/30

Learn how to process emotions by naming them—activate your brain's calming response and manage anxiety effectively in this Therapy in a Nutshell video.
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When we don't know what we're feeling, we tend to be reactive and impulsive in ways that mess up our life. When our emotions are vague, nebulous, unexplored sensations - when we feel something, but we don’t know what it is or we aren’t sure where it comes from - we have little power to change it. You can learn how to manage emotions by learning how to talk about them. The simple skill of "Name it to Tame it" as Daniel Siegal calls it.

In this video, the first of 30 skills in my Emotion Processing course, you’re going to learn how to get better at feeling by getting better at naming your emotions.

Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[happylindsay]

I eat. ( stuffing down emotions)
Sleep. ( avoiding difficult emotions)
I pick an argument. ( reinforcing the feeling of isolation and unworthiness)
I isolate. ( not wanting to burden others or not being able to trust that I can receive help)
I numb out by dissociating or engaging in mindless social media scrolling)
I ignore/avoid pleasurable activities. ( maladaptively managing anxiety, boredom, shame, loneliness, sadness, fear - feelings of unworthiness)

Thank you so much for this.

[ginnimcc]

I'm So Grateful You Are Making These Videos Available On YouTube, As Not Everyone Is Able To Afford Therapy, Or Has Access To It. You Kindness Will Surely Make A Big Difference To The Lives Of Thousands Of People! Particularly In These Times, Where Many Are In Need Of Mental Health Support. THANK YOU, YOU Are A Blessing! 😇🌻💜💫 Ginni, From New Zealand.

[Aerational]

"When we're not sure what we're feeling but we know that it's uncomfortable, we tend to act in ways that are impulsive and self defeating."

*Entire life flashes before eyes*

[andrewbraham]

This needs to be added to most curriculums at school. I don't understand why this is not being taught. We need to put much more emphasis on physical health at school as well as emotional health. This is a wonderful course. Thank you for posting it. I am going through it with all the effort and and diligence I have.

[aseltas.]

I smile (when ı ashamed)
I keep silent ( when ı confused and thinking
I sleep (for not thinking and escape bad emotions)
I verify what ı am with an evidence (bad emotions and things about me
Obsessive thoughts come to my mind and I constantly reject them (when ı scared)
I isolate
I bite nails, make calculations, escape from reality and dream, my hands shake (anxiety)

[tic]

Naming my buzzing emotions was so hard. I could only describe it as a stuffy humid windless doldrums. After a few weeks shuffling through an emotion wheel I realised why it was so hard, it was because I grew up in a house hold where any emotion or uncooperative behaviour was just called "a bad/garbage attitude" or "what would your future mother in law/husband think about this behavior."

[wonderbubbles]

So you just got home from a stressful day at work. You had tense meetings, conflict with a coworker and the internet went down so you're behind on work. Just feel your emotions and magically everything is better. The coworker is no longer gossiping in the break room, the work is automatically caught up and the meetings just went away. Magic!

[MilA-kuub]

I struggle mainly with intense intrusive, irrational feelings of guilt, especially towards the people I love. I tend to ruminate and obsess over those feelings and associated thoughts (that I'm a bad, selfish person) and this leads to feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, sadness, despair... I'm working on forgiving and accepting myself the way I am, but it is quite hard given the fact I've been criticising, judging and hating myself for as long as I can remember.

[wellbeingwithnicole]

Naming an emotion is such a powerful skill.

[amandamiles]

I’ve learned more watching your videos than I ever have in actual one on one therapy! Thank you so much for this free resource for those of us who are struggling emotionally and financially. You are one awesome and smart lady! Praying that God blesses you richly!

[doeeyedfaun]

I was married to a man who wasn’t very emotional and early in the relationship would get upset when I cried, so I learned not to. We were married for 13 years. Two years ago I divorced him because I met someone who made me feel again. The last two years has been an emotional roller coaster as I have let all those feeling finally come back out with a wonderful man by my side who embraces my “seasons” of emotions (as he calls them).

[davidf]

Said to myself: "this is the first video out of 30, how hard can this be after all, I know myself and I know my emotions" ! Started by trying to follow the exact instructions and very soon realized: I do NOT ! I am not good at this AT ALL ! Wow there is a lot of work for me here, but I find it very interesting and empowering - I just wish I had found this many years ago ! Thanks a lot Emma you are really helping many persons with your content . . .

[Kouyou]

What an awesome thing to think about - I processed stress when I had a high paying job by skipping dinner and going straight to bed until the next day and when it was time to work. It got worse and worse because I didn’t have time and energy to make good, nutritious meals for myself and wanted to save money and didn’t want to eat out. Hope this comment helps you conquer the algorithm.

[ctrongful]

A few decades ago I hit upon the thought exercise of removing emotional triggers from a "coat closet", shaking the "coat on a hanger" out to see if that was why I was anxious, angry or sad because I often feel emotions without knowing what triggered it. If that wasn't the one, I put it back and pulled out another. It works fairly well. I usually know what I'm feeling it the why and what to do with it that stumps me.

[draapulus]

Summary/ Overview:
0:00 Intro - Story, lunch with a therapist friend - 2nd hand/ secondary trauma.
3:03 Ad
3:15 Exercises - write in workbook/ journal/ YT comment section:
-What are your typical responses to emotions?
-What are the positive and negative consequences of these behaviors?
-What kind of difficulties are you facing in your life?
-How might your life be better if you had better ways to resolve your emotions?

4:41 How to process emotions
-How do you tend to react when youre feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed?
5:00 "Name it to tame it"
5:15 'Seafood processing plant' reference (from intro/ 0/30). In this stage we check what it is, salmon, halibut, lobster? What am i feeling, anger, sadness, lonelyness?
5:45 First step, take time to notice, name and express your thoughts and feelings.

6:18 How the brain works
-Upstairs brain - rational thinking part, plan, choices.
-Downstairs brain - emotional, ractive, impulsive, feeling part. Limbic system, survival. Where the FFF response happens, fight-flight-freeze.
-Naming feelings/ thoughts makes it easier to use both parts together to solve the problem.
7:17 I feel statements. Write: "I feel x feeling". Attached resource:

8:11 Problems with i feel statements, can get twisted into something thats not helpful. Three 3 problems with expressing emotions:
8:23 1. If theres no emotion word and just thoughts, when thoughts gets mixed up with feelings. Wrong: i feel like.. i feel that..
9:15 2. Confusion around "i am" with "i feel", that the emotion gets turned into an identity. "I feel x emotion/ Im having the feeling of x emotion right now", describes something and gives you more space to operate from, ability to act.
-Words of truth n kindness, describe ourselves n others, creates strenght n power.
-Words of fear n distortion, twisting, exaggerating truth, tend to create helplessness.
10:25 3. Being vague - specificity = more power to solve them.
10:37 Emotion chart - increase emotional vocabulary. Or type in the feeling in a thesarus/ dictionary.

Write down emotions for one month, feeling multiple feelings att he same time, write em. Set three goals for this course.
12:09 Outro

[jurbua]

I can't believe such a great course is on YouTube for free!
Thank you very much for your amazing generosity!

[ilovetaylorswift]

You have no idea how helpful these videos are. I’ve been seriously struggling with my emotions and learning to deal with my trauma and how to cope with my emotions. This video brought tears of joy to my eyes. I finally feel like I’m taking a step in the right direction

[trivedichaitanya]

I can't express how much I needed this right now. Thank you so much for your efforts.

[Bonjourdimanche]

Thank you so much for this series and making it available for everyone during these tough times. Thank you ❤️

[agodoy]

I tend to overeat or just go to sleep to avoid overthinking. I feel frustrated, confused and overwhelmed. I believe that when I learn to process my emotions in a healthier way I will feel much more in control and take control of my life.