422. Mastering Relationship Skills with Dr. Stan Tatkin

Could your relationship benefit from a deeper connection? Join us for a conversation with Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute and renowned for his psychobiological approach to couple therapy. We explore his inclusive approach to modern relationship structures. Dr. Tatkin reveals his secrets for maintaining excitement in long-term relationships and offers advice on living authentically, fostering self-love, and operating from your adult mindset.

Ever wondered why you’re attracted to certain people? Dr. Tatkin explains the fascinating neurobiological roots behind our unconscious attraction to partners who mirror our emotional upbringing. We discuss the crucial role of presence, attention, and curiosity in sustaining intimacy beyond the initial spark.

Discover how shared purpose and mutual protection are the cornerstones of a thriving partnership. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes the "couple bubble" concept, where mutual support and unwavering commitment are paramount. We explore the importance of aligning values, setting mutual goals, and maintaining a cooperative dynamic to ensure a fulfilling and sustainable relationship.

In this episode, you will hear:
-Deep dive into Dr. Tatkin's updated book, "Wired for Love"
-The role of presence, attention, and curiosity in sustaining relationships
-Exploring 'pillow talk' for deeper emotional bonds
-Understanding unconscious partner attraction and its neurobiological roots
-The significance of mutual goals, shared visions, and the "couple bubble"
-Practical advice for building resilient and fulfilling long-term partnerships

Resources from this Episode
Membership: The Academy of Awakening

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[carriekachur]

This man is so powerful. We took his Wired for Love workshop in February and my life has been forever changed. He’s so intelligent and sees through the bs and calls you on it. We need that to learn and be better. You asked him great questions. My favorite was the one about where one person is doing the work and the other person says no I’m fine. That’s a very frustrating position. I’m glad you asked that.

[Earl_E_Burd]

This was a really good episode. Dr. Tatkin said so many things that I agree with and would like to be able to articulate confidently on-demand like that.

The one part that puzzled me was the big question toward the end: what if one partner is doing the self-work and the other is not ready? Two people process things at such different rates - especially considering that opposites attract, and given social norms for genders - in so many different realms (careers, income, parents, emotions, exercise, diet, hobbies, projects, family, consciousness, etc.) that expecting the other person to be ready to dig into their deeply sensitive childhood attachment wounds at the exact same time, or else the whole partnership goes in the toilet - just seems idealistic to me. What about the other realms, if one partner isn't growing professionally at the same rate, or diet and exercise? Sorry, babe, I lost 30 lbs and you gained five - have a nice life.

Even if both start therapy at the same time, it can take years to find a good therapist or to even know what that means. Some therapists just let you talk for an hour, collect pymt, and schedule for next week. The healing journey itself takes many years after the dive into deep introspection.

I see people throwing away relationships so easily and then not finding anything better despite their rationalizations. What's the use of vows, then? Just my observation. I am not requesting a response, I just wanted the challenge of trying to articulate my thoughts here. Thanks for the opportunity.