The One Thing Holding You Back: Enneagram Stances

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Transformational Enneagram & Relationship Coaching

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It's simple, Give if you want to and are able to...no pressure!

Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.

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[carolinethompson]

As a 9w1, I can clearly see myself as being withdrawn and compliant by turns. I'm compliant until I need to withdraw. Assertiveness is the challenge.

[ingridcapezzuoli]

Being a 5 w 4 Enneatype I naturally tend to be a withdrawn type but as a Lifecoach I can also be very assertive and enter the compliance part when helping my clients to leave their negative self built bounderies and comfort zones. This latter part feels more like shifting and acting as a 5 w 6 which I normally am not.

[gregoryritchie]

Love this "3 point sermon!" A lot there, but in a concise form so I can get my mind wrapped around itl Great! Thanks.

[joyshokes]

I can’t wait to listen today as I hit the road. I feel the need to mention how 2 the aesthetic is. I love it. ❤

[juliegolick]

I'm definitely more compliant / withdrawn, and struggle with assertiveness. It takes things getting REALLY bad before I'm able to force myself into a conflict situation. Sometimes I do have to, but I hate it every time.

[mirellavasileva]

You should make a video about the enneagram types and their corresponding philosophies.

[tbechdol]

6w7ish (came back to edit, nope, in a 6w5) here and compliant is easy, assertive is awkward but becoming more "firm but kind" at work, and go total withdrawal at home to reset. Im a workaholic and deal with preventing "fires" all day but put em out more than prevent- im a behavior analyst in public schools.

[AntoineLavoisier]

3w4 here and I’m great at being Assertive and Compliant. I can struggle at Withdraw despite the 4 wing.

[timkogan]

I do believe that I’m 8w9, and my dominant stance is, of course, assertiveness. But it’s very exhausting to be like this all the time. So I get withdrawn if my energy is low or assertiveness doesn't work. Compliance is scary, as people may be stupid or may just take advantage of me. I tried being compliant—it didn't work well. I feel that my thinking here is shallow, and I would love to understand it more.

[bo]

I just realized i am wearing a sweatshirt that has a stick figure climbing a pole followed by "your feelings". Yep, withdrawn assertive here..😊

[thecrazedhaven]

Assertiveness appears to be my issue, does that make sense for a 4w3? I can be assertive while drunk, but I normally can't shake that feeling of "those assertive types are rude, selfish, assholes." And I always fear people the next day for standing up for myself, or speaking the truth, or setting boundaries. Then again, I do lot for people without much in return, so it makes sense. But it seems hard to just start setting boundaries with people you've known for years. Also, what book would you recommend as the most informative, or thorough enneagram book to start with? Thank you, love your content.

[real-zlos]

where can i read more about subtypes pdf "free"..?

[kirstenerman]

Omg is this why I feel like I'm in a coma at home when my 4 w 5 husband and my 9 w 8 son are at home...they are basically asleep. I'm a 1 w 9...I'm usually a doer who will guilt myself when I'm not doing something but equally bossy at work who won't complain at a restaurant 😂...

what does 1 to 4 look like ( is this where I get moody and depressed and whoa is me I'm so broken....I hate that! My 4 husband is always in that melodrama pit..it's so tiring...who can make progress with that?

Honestly I really liked this video as far as information and some aha, but hmm what are the steps...if it feels uncomfortable that's where the work is...I find it takes ALOT of work to make those small steps to build the confidence for the bigger ones.

There can be acceptance and there can be selling out your values.

[optimalglacier]

As a 5, withdraw is strong, assertiveness not bad when we're healthy integrated towards 8. compliance is an issue, :) really competent 5's are aholes.

[darkkstar]

I get it, but at what point do we just accept ourselves as we are? the enneagram always seems like a "you should change your spots" philosophy. Stating this as a withdrawn 4w5 🖖I feel I can be assertive when I need to be, but I do it awkwardly, and maybe a bit over the top as overcompensation (?)

[Dani-joyr]

Withdraw is a challenge….
Complience I guess
But asserting is easiest 😤😅

[isa-manuelaalbrecht]

5/6 overhere and got stuck competely in my thoughts'..need to understand first...if this is not possible I get immobilized...hard to overcome...🫨