5 Weird Shopping Habits of a Narcissist

Live Workshop--Raise Your Children Properly When Dealing with a Narcissist:

chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:43 Disclaimer: Not All Odd Shoppers Are Narcissists
01:43 Narcissistic Shopping Habit #1: Shaming and Control
03:48 Narcissistic Shopping Habit #2: The Supply Hunt
05:14 Narcissistic Shopping Habit #3: Sabotaging Your Independence
06:30 Narcissistic Shopping Habit #4: Public Performances and Scapegoating
07:38 Narcissistic Shopping Habit #5: Money as a Weapon
08:46 Conclusion

[narcabusecoach]

Live Workshop--Raise Your Children Properly When Dealing with a Narcissist:

[l.t.]

My narc uses our shopping days as a platform to garner attention. As soon as we walk into a store he goes into performance mode and
starts joking with all the customers and the cashier.
He never is light and joking with me.

[samk]

You are so so very correct...

I cried in a supermarket asile after i gained my freedom from the narc
...
The very fact that i could buy anything was so foreign to me like a long forgotten childhood memory...
I cried out of sadness, happiness and relief...

Now even after so many years every shopping trip is a treat for me...even if its something as mundane as grocery ... i am happy and free...

[sharonj]

Finding your channel has been a blessing because no one who has not experienced this would believe it..thank you for helping in my healing❤️

[MsRapture]

My family of 5 went out to breakfast when I was a child. My brothers and I had already eaten cereal at home but once we got to the restaurant we were hungry again(carbs burn off quick).
My mother ordered breakfast for us and when we got in the car, my father started yelling at her and held his fist up like he was going to hit her. He said…”They already ate at home! “. I was petrified and didn’t understand what she had done wrong by ordering food for her children. Imagine your family going out to eat but only your parents are the ones eating. He was so verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive to the best mother and wife someone could ask for

[judithparris]

I have two friends whose husbands insisted on doing the family grocery shopping. I always that was kinda weird bc women usually do that but then i realized it was a way of controlling the money and not putting any in their hands.

One always used coupons and relied on only sale items and the other bought the bare minimum (a chicken, onions, carrots, a carton juice) while hiding a cheap 24 pack of sodas locked in his trunk for himself. All to control the family and the money.

[T-rex-os]

Thank you for this video Danish. This is exactly what happens. I've never felt so stressed when shopping. He can spend ages looking at one thing in a shop, but if I do that, he's pacing back and forward and sighing or he snaps "I'll be outside". I often get "that's too big/heavy to carry" so I put it back, yet he buys cans of alcohol which are heavy. He is lovely to the cashiers but treats me like I'm a child. It's embarrassing. When I'm paying for my items, he is standing there rolling his eyes and sighing because he wants me to feel guilty about what I've bought or what I've spent. He is deeply unpleasant to shop with. I've told him many times that I don't want to shop with him but he insists on coming too. 😢

[tanyadelgado]

We were on a very strict budget. Grocery shopping was hard work, preparing by clipping coupons, studying the store flyer for loss leaders. One shopping trip with him brought me to tears. He threw anything he wanted in the cart and ruined our monthly budget by going over $300! Our entire food budget was only $200! Never took him again. Not to mention he pretended not to be with me and flirted with any female he saw.

[theorbit]

For years, I have suffered in silence. As a newlywed bride, I was told to make myself look unattractive. He asked me, "Are you trying to compete with my mother? Are you proud of your looks?" His words cut deep, stripping away my confidence.

He even insisted that I should forget I was a postgraduate, as if my education meant nothing. I was treated like a mere object, used and discarded like a broomstick. His mother and he constantly humiliated me, making me feel small and insignificant.

To make matters worse, I lost my parents during Covid, leaving me with no one to share my pain. I carry this burden alone, yearning for someone to understand the depth of my suffering.

[HadMyFill]

From the trip in the car to the store, to the shopping itself, then entire episode was mega-stressful. I stopped going on these trips when I realized it. He had no patience with anyone and if I stopped to look at something, he'd be by my side telling me he was in a hurry. But on the way home, he'd make all these unexpected stops that I had no forewarning about, including stops at a local pub or two. I felt like a hostage and he was controlling my time. So I stopped going, telling him that he "was a better shopper than I was anyway". I'd do my own shopping when he wasn't home. The travel time beside him as he drove the car was insane. He's a very aggressive driver and I would feel so bad for the other drivers. He's an absolute bully in every way. :(

[ninjacat]

I shop for myself alone. Learned that a long time ago.
If you shop w/ people that can't afford the things you can, you get judged or feel bad, or there is the chance they could gossip about the amount you spend on quality items.
If you shop with unbalanced people, they try to talk you into junk you never wanted or needed.
Then you have the ones that try to rush you and get impatient, just to get home to do nothing.
Nah, on my own is way more productive, nobody asking questions. No impulse buying etc...

Last week a friend asked me to go to a few stores with her. This was fine as I wasn't shopping for anything personally. Just walking around the stores with her.
She's on a very limited budget. She went around those stores basically looking for ways to spend her money. Picking up all kinds of items looking at the price and deciding if she had enough cash in her pocket. This was things she never knew existed, and had no idea if she would use them. The deciding factor was 'do I have the $s' not 'do I need this or is the quality there'
It was weird watching someone with the main goal of 'how can I spend money today'?
Everything from cat toys to object shaped wax candles to fake flowers, t-shirts, vases, hand lotion etc...
She would look, consider the price then something else would catch her eye and move on.
It was bizarre and the frantic nature really started to cause me anxiety. I never said a thing, and just went around with her. Never giving an opinion or advice. She's an adult and can do what she wants with her money.
Now that I think of it, maybe she wanted me with her to help her control herself or urge her into spending. Either way is not a good position to let yourself be in.
Stay neutral. Give no opinion. Otherwise youll be blamed for allowing or denying how they spend.

[luthozsiyo]

My narc ex was reckless with money, she would buy without looking at the price. She would take something just because she loves it and literally would not look at the price tag. The way a child imagines their life in the future. She would even ask me what I want or choose something for me and throw it in the trolley. She used to "punish" me with making a scene in restaurants but there was one time she used shopping. In the morning that day we argued about something. When we went shopping we went to a clothing store and she saw a shirt that looked perfect on me. She loved it and even asked me to try it out. I must say it looked good on me. She told me to take it, she'll pay for it. Man I was so happy. When we got to the cashiers she paid for everything else and said except for the shirt and literally left it there but not to give her the satisfaction that she played me, I acted like I didn't care. I only thought about it after our breakup that it was about that argument that "invalidated" her stance about what we were fighting about that morning because they keep scores and punish you with something else later.

[stargazer]

Many experiences with my narc girlfriend from school until recently when I discover this pathology. Very strange behaviors I couldn't explain at that time and I was giving excuses because of her childhood: Having a stressful way of shopping to find the ideal cloth of her imagination and spending days looking for it in the most unusal places. Always asking to borrow the dress or the books I had already bought, even if they were from my first salary and never returning them, telling me that she... lost them, they were damaged or they didn't have any value and I buy nonsense. Asking for my oppinion to choose clothes and then accusing me for having awful taste. Taking things from my hands in front of the cashier telling that she needs them more than me and she will... buy me something else in return another time. Buying the last item that I was intersting to buy as a souvenir from a local shop while traveling. Making crazy the sellers asking to try all the shoes of the shop without buing anything and leave the shop upside down. Asking me to delay an appointment at work or a party I was preparing just to be present for hours while she was choosing a lipstick. Accusing the employees without reason that they are rude and threatening them that she will never come to this shop again. Remembering their " bad" attitude and thinking what hard words she could write at the comments in order to harm them and make them... lose clients. As a person who cares about others I gave her the benefit of the doubt for a long time. But this is really sick and never has an end. No contact is the only way to save your sanity. Iam so sorry about all this. If you believe in loving relationships facing this is a huge disappointment and pain.

[bakaratn]

DANG am i glad my dad worked at a grocery store!! Danish, you're making me grateful for all the times I DIDN'T have to go grocery shopping w/my Narcmom! 😅

[Fhkfsgjlojk]

I bought some flowers one day after I had my second child, when I got home, my husband treated me like I had wasted every penny in our account like I had no right to buy anything and treated me horribly. He had himself lost over 25, 000$ in stocks and I couldn’t even buy myself a plant 🪴 to look at everyday. It was such torment living with him. That’s only one little experience. I finally got out of that relationship but he took everything from me and tried to kill me.

[confusedwhynot]

My spouse rarely went shopping with me. He did get angry about how much i was spending to provide for a family of 5. He was always upset when i bought clothes for the kids. He didn't have trouble spend money on himself.

[BlagaZaharieva]

My mother...exchanging phone numbers with the sellers because they are so good friends now and after spending some money in their shop they are obliged to give her extra special attention! Asking ridiculous questions about the products so the shop assistant feels embarrassed for not knowing "important" facts and a long queue is formed behind because she needs a public to watch her performance. My sister was her beautiful doll so there were always money to buy for her new clothes and stuff while I was the ugly doll and there was never money for me. The only pretty things for me were the ones she bought front of other people so everyone can see how good mother she is. I am 42 and still trying to give myself permission to spend my own money for myself.

[TamekaBuckley-Faint]

Yes Sir, going to the store with him was ALWAYS an uncomfortable situation 😔 Watching him stare at other women making me uncomfortable when he just has a problem with self control period.

[ZYX]

8:51
Danish.🌸
Not only are you one of the most articulate speakers I have listened to, you know every facet concerning all things narcissistic.

As I read through the comments, sadly we all echo each other as to say how accurate you are ..

Every single narcissist, no matter what the calibre have all graduated from the same school ..
The repertoire is limited ..
They're not fascinating, they're not sexy or mysterious or kind or generous they are a vacuous thing ..

They are a void ..💫

[kimjones]

You explain them exactly thanks. I love to grocery shop but not with him at all it’s dreadful