Sexual Desire and Non-Duality

In this discussion about sexual desire and non-duality, we explore why some sexual experiences are unsatisfying and lead to a sense of lack and some lead to true intimacy and a sense of fulfilment. How can the desire for sexual intimacy become an expression of the fullness of being that leads to deeper connection and lasting fulfilment?

Rupert explains that the reason we are attracted sexually to someone else is that we intuit that in our sexual intimacy or union, there is a loss of the sense of separation. Sexual intimacy is one of the common ways that is temporarily brought about.

The first impulse is motivated by a desire to lose one's sense of separation. We're really using the other person to lose ourselves and that's why in the end it's unsatisfactory. It does lead to a temporary loss of the sense of separation, but it doesn't lead to true intimacy. There is always a feeling that it never quite fulfils what it promised.

The second type of sexual intimacy is not motivated by the desire to lose our sense of separation, but by the fullness of being. In other words, you already feel your being is unlimited and shared. It's the second kind of desire that leads to real intimacy.

They both desire outwardly the same physical experience, but the inner experience, the place from which they come, are very different and the experience towards which they lead is very different.

Timestamps:

0:00 What Is Desire?
0:30 Why Do We Desire Sex?
1:10 How To Lose The Sense Of Separation
2:57 Ending The Sense Of Lack
4:21 True Sexual Satisfaction
5:51 How To Experience Lasting Intimacy
7:05 Sexual Desire and Non-duality

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#rupertspira #nonduality #happiness #natureofreality #consciousness #awareness #meditation #guidedmeditation

RS22153k

[consciousnessbasedcosmos]

Being full and yet wants to share means there is another. That in turn means separation. So it contradicts the fullness mentioned earlier.
When there is no I, there is no you. Then there is only Love in "I love you". That is true intimacy.

[MindCanTroll]

It's important from a spiritual perspective that people don't see sex as impure or just being seen as lust if not having it for reproduction only, or even being shamed for having sexual feelings. It's something normal for a human. We shouldn't obsess over it, but we shouldn't repress it either.

[innerlight]

9.28 "going for a walk together without saying anything is the same..."
THANKS Rupert!

[lionspirit]

A person who has the words to describe the different impulses. Wow.

[AlejandroMS]

I just turned 56 this month, and crazily I am having the best "sex" of my life just recently. I'm not sure I want to call it "sex" because it really is all about "making love" to and with my partner whom I love very much. And I say crazily because I never in my wildest dreams thought that I'd be having the best love-making of my life in my 50s. In my 20s or 30s I would've been either doubtful or incredulous at such a thought. And yet here I am, here we are. When I think about it now, I realize that I am involving both wanting immensely just to please and pleasure and give to her as much as I can, as long as I can etc, without "taking" from her. But for me there is much receiving in giving too. Giving = receiving. And so I think about the physical act in the same way, I don't think of it as "me penetrating her", I think more about it like her wrapping herself around me, and letting her control more of the process in a way, and I find that this really changes my mindset and I seem to last a whole lot longer with this approach. I think she also feels more honored and respected somehow. She is also multi-orgasmic but she has neither been promiscuous nor has she been able to find the right partner with whom she could delve deeper into her capacity for multiple O's. Before she'd never had more than 3 or 4. With me she has surpassed any prior experiences several times over, MANY times over. With us it is very much the motion of the ocean and not the size of the ship (however it is also the FIT of the ship within THE particular ocean and add creativity to that as well). I don't believe this would have happened for her had I not approached her with the mind/love/physical approach that I wanted to bring and offer her. I also believe that she is a natural giver as well, and so when we come together (no pun intended), when we join together, it is wildly satisfying and beautiful because we both are such givers. In the way that there is slow food and slow wine, this is slow lovemaking. This is of course very private but I'm hoping that by sharing here, other people will take these comments to improve their intimacy with their partners, as these comments can apply to all regardless of age or gender.

[AllGoodLongchenRabjam]

I’ve found within this particular mind the ego will constantly seek (for a long time without any awareness of this process) to find a spiritualized way to satisfy sexual cravings. The arguments in the mind get very sophisticated and the mind will find like arguments through various sources so it can feel more validated.
All I can say is that there is a 360 difference when my mind is steeped in sexualized thought vs semen retention and thoughts of mantra, service, Vedanta, prayer ext.
I am a separate alone and incomplete body is such a deep false flag program in the mind, sex CAN be one of the biggest targets in the Mind to solve this seemingly deeply jarring problem. It’s wired so deeply biologically and in seeking pleasure

[MP-rvyb]

So beautiful… and so clear ! Thank you very much

[gireeshneroth]

Consciousness is having its way about itself.

[MattyLiam]

I think this was the most lovely thing I've ever heard described in my entire life.

[shirinvenkat]

Although this is understood but why then is one selective for sexual intimacy. Is it ok for a realised being to have intercourse with one and all?
Obviously this is a mind question but it is troublesome having seen several Gurus excusing themselves for what would be termed promiscuity to say the least.

[margemaple]

to be truly free, is to be free of desires and not enslaved to them. this is not easy but the process is liberating in itself. true oneness is found within, to unify mind, body and soul with the true source of all creation. if you are seeking happiness from satisfaction of the physical, the cycle will be un ending and tormenting. Good luck with your journey !

[hemanthjha]

Little did I know, is it helpful or obstacle to non duality.

[yngvesognen]

You want to manifest the union with the other and also give what you can, not thinking about what you'll receive.

[Biernat]

my God !!! 🙏💟 thank you thank you thank you!!! 🙏, beauty beauty beauty💟!!!
all my life just feels this way 🕉

[lingeshsawanth]

'Sense of Separation' causes 'pain/pleasure' and 'pain/pleasure' causes 'sense of separation', it's a LOOP!,

As long as there's 'sense of separation' any amount of accumulation of pleasures caused by objects will not bring fulfilment, contentment.

To let go the 'sense of separation' is the only permanent solution!

LET GO n REJOICE! 🙂

[agnieszkag.]

This is what I practice now, total letting go of sexual desire. This is easy when sex promised enjoyment of intimasy, sexuality and turned out to never make it true. My sexual partners didn't even wanted hold me in their arms, never, not only in bed, what for to do such a things with someone who is used for a moment of pleasure, but is not loved. This is obvious for me I wasn't loved in my relationships, that's why I don't need sexual desire anymore. I am surrendering those energies as these never had any good purpose in my life.

[withtom]

Dont forget the importance of instincts and the processes and activities within awareness that have led us to arrive here today so that we can be aware of being aware.


Relate well with the dynamic biological processes and activities within awareness.

Our localised unit of micro awareness within the macro awareness and our self-concept is just as important to know as Awareness by itself.

[Neti-Netti]

Putting in words what I feel deeply connected to perception
Thank you

[mmrebelo]

Is Rupert speaking about karezza? What do you think?

[ntitlme]

At 2’58 Rupert mixes up the word ‘celebration’ with the word ‘separation’. Freud would have been amused.