Bitter Exes | Why An Ex Talk Talk Trash After A Breakup

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Bitter Exes | Why An Ex Talk Talk Trash After A Breakup

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Today we want to talk about bitter exes and why bitter exes continue to talk trash about you to mutual friends or to you directly. We’ve often had to coach people who are dealing with bitter exes or bitter spouses who will agree to meet up with you, but only to bring you down and talk smack about the pain that you have caused them throughout the relationship. So why do people do that? How do bitter exes happen even if they are the ones who decided to end the relationship?

The number one element that we would like to touch on is that a lot of times, bitter exes are resentful and talk trash when they haven’t let go, when bitter exes haven’t been able to move forward or to move on. And it might sound counterintuitive. “Why would bitter exes still care about us or love us if they are bad mouthing us and if they are the ones that broke up with us?”

Human beings are complex creatures who act in contradictory ways. The truth of the matter is that your bitter ex probably still loves you and cares about you, but unfortunately they don’t think that they can be happy with you. That’s right. It’s not a love or emotion issue. It is a trust and happiness issue. They don’t trust that they can be happy with you. And so despite the fact that they love you. I should even say because they still love you, they resent you and they verbalize or vocalize this dichotomy and this pain in this way. They start talking trash. They bad mouth you to other friends in hopes of making themselves feel better, in hopes of channeling this negativity to heal, but it does not make them heal. And so, if your bitter ex, at the very least it’s because they haven’t been able to let go of the relationship.

Sometimes people are very, very resentful, also, because they are just hurt. They are just so hurt that they just can’t let go of the past. And it’s not necessarily that they have these strong feelings for you. It’s that they had high hopes and high expectations of you and of the relationship. And it’s just pain. It’s just pain upon pain that they are communicating in a way that is quite honestly not conducive to healing and so that’s why a lot of times they have so much pain in their heart. And that they don’t know how to address that pain and how to heal.

I’ve seen many situations where exes talk trash to mutual friends also to try to get their validation, to try to get people on their side. And it’s very manipulative, and I would encourage you to not engage in that type of behavior because ultimately they are hurting themselves. Even if they get a few friends to resent you for the pain that you’ve caused, they are only hurting themselves. And so, if you feel like your ex is doing this specifically to turn people that love you against you, I would highly encourage that you keep a safe distance. You can continue to engage with mutual friends. But don’t talk about your ex and don’t talk about your relationship unless they force that conversation upon you.

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[WeAreBornAthletes]

"let them self-destruct, take the high road and beautiful things will happen"

I needed that

[apope]

If they are over the relationship they have indifference and move on. If they cant let go they are still in love.

[sombernights]

With me, I admit where I am wrong. I own my mistakes and my faults.
The thing with people who can't admit that they did wrong in any way, their coping skill is talking trash... Which is only going to effect them in the long run. This is not how you move on, nor is it how you free yourself. I have come to terms with my faults and I learned from them, to not practice these faults.
I don't claim victimhood. But I also recognize when I am not 100% at fault, or if I am 100% at fault.

[Traveganja]

Great advice
It’s best to take the high road
Can be hard not to defend oneself
But you’ll always be happy you said nothing
And you saved a little bit of dignity
Silence is golden

[ParisianStreets]

every word you said was spot on. sad thing is deep down in my heart i know only God turn it around. *sigh*. tears.

[rasalghul]

Who else is binging these calming videos after a breakup

[iszaly]

He talked trash, what I did? Laugh, told him it was like talking to a kid, and talked trash back but with all the facts that hurt him. I feel like he hates me but hides it

[HiLifeItsMe]

Thank you I recently discovered he was publicly (Social media) talking trash about me. I was shocked. Also he’s quickly moved on with someone. On vacation as we speak, yet just 2 months ago wanted to take me out, wanted to spend time together, etc. now I’m looking back at dates he was dating the poor girl at the same time. I’m beyond shocked to see him say such disturbing things about me, but I do understand. Thank you for this video. I’ve haven’t reached out and I’m moving on. I’m a Kind and a gentle spirit. I deserve better. I’m just shocked he seems like a totally different man than the man I lived with for a year and loved. People show their true colors in difficulty.

[vladdobetter]

My ex asked me to help her pick something out for her new guy she’s been with for maybe 2-3 months. I just took the high road.

[jeffreyward]

When one person disrespects another all the time and the partner can never call that person out they don't feel heard and they get madder and outraged the person just won't listen they'll say things like I don't like drama you will never be heard that's the problem partners don't listen to each other anymore one person ends it when they disrespect you and they won't listen to you call them on their bull

[wendyhenderson]

Thank you for this Video.. This happened to me last night.. He texted me and basically told me its my fault we broke up cause i didnt have his back financially. . We lived and I did everything for him.. When he lost his job and lost his car.. And he had a mini stroke.. I was there.. His words hurt me so much..

[hamrolyrics]

Last week I ran my first 5k without stopping and all the time I could hear the voice in my head saying that I can do it. Forwago, thank you so much for everything!!

[terrykarenbauer]

Take the high road & let them self destruct within the new or rebound relationship…have self respect for yourself and don’t get treated like a doormat…

[celebrityscoop]

He told my neighborhood that I stink and wet my bed😂😂😂, Weirdly I laughed out loud when I heard that.

Dude went on to edit my Whatsapp status to have propke think I took a sex tape, now this made me lose a lot of friends coz they believed him...I should've deleted his number a long time ago.
Now I'm left with a tarnished reputation and nothing can be done at this point.
I won't lie I'm hurting, depressed and feel alone hopefully I bounce back💔

[paulinerussell]

Thanks for this advice. I understand more now why my ex boyfriend has "talked trash" about me. I have tried to show kindness which hasn't deflated his anger towards me but after watching this clip I can feel better by not responding.

[karennichelson]

In my situation..i think that his ego was hurt because he thought that I was going to chase him...I said ok when he broke up with me..and left him alone..thats why he is bitter

[themeditteranian]

Of all the love coaches I have came across this guy is by far most sincere

[teedenise]

I was just about to give him exactly what he wanted, (GO OFF!!!!)THANK GOD I found your video, .needed to hear this. THANK YOU!!!

[jamiecase]

This really opened my eyes, thank you, my Ex wife has been doing this to me since our divorce and she's the one who wanted the divorce! I tried to make it work she said it was to late. Now she spreads rumors about me to everyone I just ignore her I don't give her the satisfaction she wants.

[listenup]

I feel calm when coach Adrian talks 😌😊