8 Toxic Things Parents Say To their Children

If you're a parent or caretaker of children, it's important to be aware of the toxic family words that are spoken to children. These words can have a detrimental effect on children's development and can lead to emotional abuse. Join us in this video as we discuss 8 toxic family words and their effects on our children!

Writer: Mia El
Editor: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Lesly Drue
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Want to collaborate with us? With writing, research, editing or drawing? Reach out here:

[eshaestheticc]

every child deserve a parent, but not every parents deserve a child.

[svfthyune]

the sad part is having a parent that doesn’t say it straight to your face, but says it in a clearly backhanded way. complaining about children asking for basic needs, not calling you ugly but saying that you shouldn’t wear that shirt, threatening to run away, prioritizing their emotions over yours, calling you lazy or unproductive, caring more about your education rather than your health, not keeping promises, getting annoyed when you finally decide to open up, victimizing themselves saying “i’m the worst parent ever”, talking highly about other people’s children then talking negatively about you, pressuring you to get only high grades in school, and so much more. i feel like these insults being said in a backhanded way just hits differently, and i feel like many kids fail to notice that this is emotional abuse. the thought of saying my parent has emotionally abused me is so hard to accept, because they’re my parent and of course i want to love them. but there should be boundaries to what is said to a child, especially at a young age.

[ems.master]

8/8. I've tried to talk to my parents about all the abuse. They never listen. People, if you're in a toxic and abusive relationship, try to talk to the person/people. If they don't want to listen, escape this relationship and cut all contacts. If you tried talking, but they don't listen, don't rely on hope because you'll end up hurt. It's better to cut all contacts than to live in toxicity and to be unhappy and unfulfilled your whole life.

[paulczubryt]

Dads, tell your kids you're sorry when you screw up.
Tell your kids you love them. Tell them often. It's not awkward, it's normal.
Tell your kids that you're proud of them. Tell them often.
My dad was emotionally and mentally abusive. He was the most negative influence on my life. I never heard a good thing from him. 46 years on, I'm still struggling with the damage he did.

Dads reading this, please strive to be a good dad always.

[lonewolfnergiganos]

It's very sad that some parents puts their children's grades and performances in schools before their own mental health.

[StellaPinkbird]

I relate to so many of these, unfortunately. Your channel helped me realise how toxic my parents are

[nikkie]

Timestamps 😊
1:12 offensive words towards their appearance
1:40 provocative questions towards actions
2:11 selfish wishes
2:47 making the child feel like a burden
3:19 unhealthy comparisons
3:51 verbally abusive words or statements
4:09 threatening abandonment
4:34 empty promises
Hope this helps and I am glad my parents are not like this.

[raistlinmajere]

My parents did this and more to me and I just have to say it takes alot of strength and resiliency to really put the past behind you. Even I struggled with my issues for years until fairly recently and really grew as a person. But it takes work on yourself as a person and you have to be vigilant of your actions.

[BPTK]

I definitely felt a number of these, and felt a number that weren’t shown, including

- Critical of the child’s interests
- Threats of prospects in life
- Anger with no discussion/reconciliation afterwards

There’s a lot that my sister and I discussed recently that shows how abhorrently toxic our upbringing was, but I’ve been more than blessed that the people in my life have helped me break out from under all that weight

[matcha_ct]

I remember hearing, "I wouldn't recommend having children" and being compared to my cousins

[s.w.]

I think what's also really bad for a childs psyche is when parents talk bad about their own appearance in front of the child. It will later judge it's body for the same reasons as their parent, which can easily lead to EDs for example

[stefangherman]

Toxic comparations, verbal abuse, abandonment and empty promises are the most common toxic behaviours at parents in Romania. Every child was exposed to this at one in the their lives, including me.

[massie]

My parents do every single thing in the list. I´m 21 and they still do all of them since my childhood and it basically haven´t change. I´ve been seeing a therapist for the past 2 years and it´s always a struggle to talk about them. I can say I feel much better in the past years but there´s also so much ahead of me that I need to do to find a protection from them and express myself properly

[djert]

"Why cant you be more like your sister ?" -my dad Caused me to be jealous of my own sister for 6 plus years. Thank God we are best friends now.

[lindyloohoo]

My mom thought i was “weird” when i finally decided to be myself. It was after i graduated high school.
My parents also decided to send me to a school i never wanted to be at. I spiraled so bad and they didn’t care until things got REALLY bad for me.
Theres a term i learned called “conditional love” which i fear is what my mom has with me

[measty]

I always thought my parents didn't love me. when i saw my friend having fun and joking with his parents i didn't understand why their parents seemed so good and kind. I always thought "maybe I did something wrong" "maybe I said something that changed them"... in this video however I believe that I am not the problem... but they, who are not good parents and they do this to me every day...

[mamatamohapatra]

“You don’t deserve to be alive” *hurts the most*

[sufikz]

Oh god... I watched this video because I watch all psych2go videos, I have a healthy relationship with my parents and this video has almost made me cry. I can't imagine living like this I'm so very sorry for anyone who had a childhood like this

[hyphencubed]

whenever i watch stuff like this, I always think of the anti-bullying stuff they said in school
"sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me"
but words can do more damage than sticks and stones

[QueArres]

Reminds me so much of when I was in high school. My mom took a real turn for the nasty after her mother (my grandmother) passed away, but there were always little inklings of negativity. I think her mother's death was just the catalyst for her not holding back. One of the most distinct moments I remember was from my senior year. I'd won a small scholarship -- and I mean really small; it was $500 funded by the Performing Arts Support Society, basically the parents of all the drama kids -- for an essay I wrote. I was one of a handful of students given an award on stage during a special ceremony held just for that: to honor students who had earned awards or scholarships their final year. One of my friends (who, last I checked, is working at NASA) got all kinds of scholarships because he was (and, arguably, still is) a certifiably genius. I was so happy for him. When I came off the stage to meet with my mom, the first thing she said to me was, "You could have done better." Still stings to this day, even though she's gone.