Sunday Chat: Our Marriage - Happy But Not Perfect

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Thank you so much for watching…I truly do appreciate it.
 
Elle

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Music: Original Composition by Mark
Camera used: Canon Vixia HF G30
Movie editing software:  VideoPad

[kasey]

I'm 61 and newly married of 5 years. It's been a ton of work on both sides. Marriage is a mirror. You can really see yourself this close to another. We see a marriage counselor. She has been practicing over 40 years. I asked her what in all the years are the qualities to makes a good marriage. Her answer, " No one gets it all, not even her. You cherish what you do have and accept what you don't."

[everydaynicole]

I’m finally getting caught up on YT after vacation. This topic really hits home for me. My husband and I have been married for 26 years. In 2010 my husband had an accident and broke his leg, shattered his ankle and suffered a brain injury. I don’t talk about this a lot but you want to talk about tough times. He recovered really well but has some memory loss. His doctor says he’s his miracle because he didn’t think he’d walk again! I remember talking to people and they would just stare at me (I don’t think they knew what to say). I really felt alone. Recently, a coworker’s husband had a heart attack and he fell and also suffered a head injury. She and I were talking and she was saying they were struggling because he’s changed. We talked for a while and she remembered my husbands accident and brain injury. I listened and gave her some advice and suggestions for things that helped me. I also said “Remember the part of the vows where they say in sickness and in health? Well this is that part and it’s hard”. I check in with her now and we talk. Marriage is hard. It’s important to remember why you fell in love with that person and realize things could change at any moment. ❤️

[Juliesmimosa]

Anything worth having is worth the work! We have become closer in the last two years of our 37 year marriage than I ever believed possible. It was a rough beginning and middle! Nothing is perfect. Love you sweet, powerful Elle! ❤️

[LEFEMMEBELLE]

My husband and I have been married for 50 years and I can say that no matter how long you're married it always takes time and communication to make a marriage happy. We've had good years and bad years. Usually the bad ones were when we got so caught up in our jobs and kids and family members that we forgot to make time for each other. You learn and start over. When we mindfully spend time together those are the happiest times. Never be fooled into believing that just because you're married for a very long time it will be smooth sailing! To this day we continue to grow as individuals and work to keep our marriage interesting. Some of the worse and most challenging times in our marriage actually turned into some of the best times because we learned from our mistakes put them behind us and used those experiences as learning tools and didn't make the same mistakes again. You had great advice Elle and I appreciate that you tackle subjects that can be difficult and give people solid advice to really think about. I loved when you said you and Mark are in this for the long haul. If both partners are determined, most times even the most disheartening issues can be overcome. Love is work physical chemistry is a bonus. Big big hugs. Susie

[victoriabriseno]

I have to agree with you, marriage is not easy and it takes a lot of work. I don’t believe that there is a perfect marriage, what one puts up with another won’t. I learned early in my marriage what would trigger an argument and that it wasn’t worth the fighting. I lost my husband 2 months ago, and we were married nearly 39 years. My husband was extremely patient and always put his family first. I am grateful and thankful for each and every thing he did. We both enjoyed a companionship and he was always there for me. I miss him terribly but I know that you both need to want to work through your differences. To make your marriage work. I am grateful for a husband who didn’t try to change me and neither did I. Yes we went through difficult moments, but we got through them, I’d have to also include forgiveness and letting stupid stuff go. I am so grateful for the husband I had and I know that he will continue to watch over us no matter how hard it will be. Thank you for this Sunday chat, I think I needed this somehow.

[viktoriapettypiece]

I believed marriage was for life, and I worked really hard on my marriage. My mother said it would be work and I entered it knowing that it would not always be a bed of roses. As I said, I worked hard on the marriage, read the books, listened to councillors, did the homework. Finally I accepted to be content rather than happy, and after 32 yrs, he left. I have forgiven him, but have not forgiven myself for not having the guts, to leave sooner, to be able to build another life when I was younger . I can relate to what you said, and enjoyed your video, and am going to save it ☺ but he always had his foot out of the door

[loisthompson]

Wow, this video is so powerful! It should be required viewing before entering into a marriage and possibly watched daily to keep 2 people on the same page. As others have commented you certainly can't do it alone as it takes 2 to make a marriage work!

[cindybrown]

Goodness, this is ten minutes of pure wisdom. Thank you, dear Elle! I’m married 46 years today! We married young...and it’s still work, but the best work I’ve ever done. ❤️🤗❤️

[connien]

I love this! I know one thing, my marriage is far from perfect; but we love each other and work hard at it. Marriage is not easy! It takes work and patience. Thank goodness with the years, it gets better and better!

[ssharp]

I love this video so much. Your relationship with Mark completely reminds me of my relationship with Rick. After 25 years together, it's not luck as some might think. We prioritize our relationship above everything. Some days it's easy and some days it's a challenge. But everyday is so rewarding when you get to spend it with your favorite person. One phrase I had to learn was "this doesn't work for me". It opens the door to a non-confrontational conversation which is so much better than assuming your husband can read your mind! I hope you have a fabulous Sunday.

[kat]

You are definitely a warm, strong, positive soul. Even though I've never met you, I feel inspired by you. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. We need more people like you to help heal our human existence.

[karenpresley]

I'm the type to trust and work on a relationship, but when you lose my trust by cheating, it's over. I was never able to work through that one. My husband destroyed every bit of trust I had in him. I ended the relationship when our daughter was 9 months old and never looked back. I tried for over 2 years when we were together. I felt like the marriage vows meant more to me. Or maybe I didn't love him enough to really try. It was beginning to make me physically ill to be with him. My disappointment in him was too great. But, I'm happy where I'm at now. I don't know if I'll ever have another serious relationship but I'm ok with that too. Love you Elle. xoxoxo. 💗💗💗

[amandalwayman]

Excellent advice. My husband and I have been married for 38 years. Our marriage is stronger and better now than ever. We have certainly had arguments and rough patches but those have allowed us to grow stronger together and be better partners in life. The relationship we have after 38 years of plowing through many tough issues, is so valuable and rewarding and filled with love (not perfection). When people ask us our secret for a long marriage we always say “be too stubborn to give up and more patient than you believe you can be.”

[BernadetteC]

Elle, another great Video, you pretty much said it all. Marriage is not perfect, you have to work at it and sometimes it seems like a job but it all pays off. If you really love your partner you will be in it for the long haul. I also think that every marriage needs religion in it, because without God in our marriages, I don’t think any of us would make it, it is so important to make God number one in each of our lives together because He is the glue! Well done my friend, you are an amazing Lady. Blessings to you and Mark.

[cmkarma]

This is such a great video you are so wise I have learned so much from you thank you for sharing 🌹😘🙏

[ccadvisor]

Fighting is a form of communication as long as love is the basis of your relationship. Compromise is a good tool ! Thank you for creating this video!

[chersummers]

Such a great topic....Oh my goodness I was married so young that I cant imagine me without him. We grew up together our memories are so intertwined it is a blessing worth every bit of our our time. Lots of changes as we started our family and our babies grew up and now grand-babies. My husband is a quiet person in the ways that I am loud lol and he is strong in ways that it is needed...seems we always synced so well together. I talk and communicate so much more then he ever would I set the tone for our family ...you are so right as women so much rests on us. We are best friends we are safe putting our faith and trust in each other. “They” said don’t get married so young you will regret it, you will change so much, you will out grow each other, you will miss out on all the single people fun, its too hard to get and education while married, “they” said so many things none of them happened! we grew together, we had fun together, we went to college together we have all these memories my handsome quiet guy and me💞. People should never lose hope lifetime love and commiment exists!! such a great topic with an abundance of advice from a kind and loving friend😘

[Melissa]

This was just wonderful, Elle. I have to clear the air. I think that is one of the most important things. You hit the nail on the head with so many of these points. It's work, isn't it? And it's ongoing. I loved this. Love, Melissa

[IamMsMoy]

Thank you Elle for sharing such sage advice with us. I truly appreciate you and Mark sharing different aspects of your life. It’s truly fulfilling when two people who love each other and work as team no matter what’s going on.

[bettyward]

My husband and I have been married almost 57 years. I still love the old man. Lol. I still get a glimpse of the young man I married. We are not afraid to tell each other what we think and how we feel. Sometimes loudly. We try to be kind to each other and no matter what we say or how loudly we say it, we both know it means nothing. We do not doubt the deep love we have for each other. He still makes me feel like I'm a beautiful woman despite the wrinkles. We are truly blessed.