What things should be kept private from your SO, no matter how healthy your relationship is?

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[Daisy_]

"Other people's secrets. Those aren't yours to share". This person has my respect.

[emberandfriendsanimations]

I love how most of these are reasonable and logical, and then there is the ones like the secret meth business that are just random and hopefully jokes
Edit: for all of you saying it was a breaking bad reference, thank you, I wouldn’t have figured it out otherwise since I’m too young to actually watch it, and don’t plan on watching it anyway

[YukonJack]

It was me, I took the cookie out of the cookie jar.

[Rattamooo]

Probably the one dry bean I left in the attic.

[BankruptMonkey]

I second other people's secrets. Just because you are dating/ married does not mean your friends automatically give permission for you to tell your SO their deepest darkest secrets, marriage doesn't require betraying everyone else in your life.

[kittywizard]

My boyfriend took a little over 2 years to tell me about his past trauma, and I was absolutely ok with that. He had never been able to trust anyone with his deepest thoughts before, and he was afraid of having that trust broken again. I don’t really have any past trauma, and I’m a very open person. I was confused at why he disliked talking about things at first. I let him take things at his own pace though, and I’m very happy that he knows it’s ok to trust me, and that I’ll never break his trust❤️

[UwUlilbby]

Definitely journals. I have one and my partner has NEVER looked inside of it. Although we do have an agreement, unless something is clearly wrong (I have a history of self harm and suicidal thoughts) she isn’t allowed to look in it, whatsoever.

[ratsinacage]

My girlfriend has opened up to me about a lot of her trauma, and even though I wish to know everything I would NEVER pressure her into telling me. The most pressure I ever put on her is trying to convince her to tell her mum she’s trans, and even then the second she asked to change the subject I do

[violethogan]

as a snack stasher (my boyfriend jokes that im like a squirrel) the stash one hit hard for me. my boyfriend knows about my stash, knows exactly where it is, and never once has he touched it without being offered. like he wont even ask. he’ll let me offer him a snack as if he doesnt know where to look. i appreciate it a lot

[sokonaut]

“other people’s secrets” said the single person

[whocanitbenow]

Other people’s secrets reply is something I’ve said many times over and that’s a hill I’ll die on.

[Whisper_]

This is important. Anyone who says there should be no secrets in a healthy relationship has never been in a healthy relationship.

[JCTBomb]

I think there’s a difference between interrogating someone about how a very intimate and deep therapy session went versus asking them if they would like to share about it out of heartfelt interest. Personally, I have times where I just don’t know where to start if someone asks how it went, and other times I feel that helps me more fully digest my therapy session by sharing about it with someone else.

[pihdbtf]

I honestly wonder if the "you have to tell me everything" thing is healthy
Every person i know who had a parent/ partner like that now has anxiety or some form of mental illness

[emma_nutella]

Some thoughts are allowed to be private not everything needs to be said, you are allowed to not tell your SO everything

[mrman]

First guy seems like a really caring person. So many others in that situation wouldn’t have the basic decency to not ask and instead say stuff like “oh are you writing about me in there?” not everything is open in a relationship, as long as they’re not cheating on you, if they have their secrets leave them be

[mbryson]

Neither my better half nor I pry. A simple "Do you really wanna know?" is all it takes.

It has worked well for 35 years thus far.

[xushadot]

"Things you aren't ready to talk about yet" Sometimes i get pissed at my boyfriend, and i cannot put in words what i am upset about, so i need some time sort my thoughts, so i dont accidentally say something wrongly. He is a type of person who wants the "problem at hand" Solved asap/in the minute it occured. Yep, we talked about that issue and we both are still learning.

[Moriah.d.young]

My ex used to ask about every therapy session I had when we were dating in high school. He would keep asking questions about each session until I told him everything.

[abysslight]

Phones. I have nothing to hide on my phone, and I love my wife and trust her more than any other person in the world, but that still does not give her permission to look through my phone without my consent. And the same goes to me. That is your private, personal property, just like a journal, and no one, no matter who they are, has a right to go through it just because of the nature of your relationship. And no, someone agreeing with me doesn’t mean they’re cheating, or hiding something, or anything that spawns from your insecurity. You have no right to project insecurities on your partner and demand to look through their phone to “prove” that they’re not hiding something or cheating.

Also just a general note for people: if someone gives you their phone to read something or scroll through something, that isn’t a free pass to open up other apps and snoop through their phone. Just do the thing they wanted you to and hand the phone back.