God awful pickup lines

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[acanofwrens]

I think the agonizing silence after each sentence with the Herseys kiss guy shortened my lifespan

[fern__]

"Do you like sleeping?"
"yeah."
"I do too. We should do it together sometime"
that's the best i've got

[Bruh-gqne]

Kwite's go to phrase for bad is "God awful".

[krispyboi]

“Your skin is so pretty, I could wear it as a fur coat.”

That’s the worse I’ve got with the attempt to *try* to flirt with them.

[Erik_Ochoa]

Kwite: I'm 5'5. That's tiny, fun-sized, minuscule, a pathetic excuse of a man, whatever you want to call it.
Me, a man who's 5'4: I'm him but his genetics were more merciful

[sebastiansingleton]

Bro I swear to god kwite always has some of the most out of pocket quotes ever

[VampireDuckie]

I went through a phase of looking up sewer-slide based pick up lines lol. "Are you death? Because I long for your sweet embrace." "Are you a gravestone? Because I want you on top of me." "You remind me of a noose; you take my breath away, and I can't wait to hang out." etc

[CaffeinatedDinosaur]

“I’m 5’5, that’s tiny...” and that hurt. - A person who is definitely not 5’3.

[lunatunes]

being a Kwite fan is like being locked in a glass box with live rats

[pplepieden]

Not sure if this counts but I once had a 30 year old man tell me, "You're so pretty, did you eat like ten barbies or something?" Mmm yes, because I love the feeling of plastic cutting my throat when I eat. Oh and I'd like to mention that he tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not, in fact a minor and that it was ok for him to be flirting with me. I still laugh at that to this day.

[seraphinereal]

0:48 I love how when Kwite levitated back a bit, he did a little bounce to emulate taking a step back

[codymody]

"are you a microwave? Bcs Is the best of all

[smol]

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?"

works every time

[SoubiYumea]

Congrats on the sponsor, but I will say that chemical exfoliants like salicylic acid or BHA are better for your skin than 'manual' exfoliants, because those can cause mircotears on your skin, over time causing your skin to get worse than when you started.

(Source: used to be a teen with awful acne)

[KBShinn]

I once used "Anyone ever tell you you're a weapon of mass distraction?"
...it worked.

[AGuywhohasGoodTaste]

“Are you a chippy? Because you can batter my sausage!”

- My friend, 2022

[Tea_N_Crumpets]

“Admitting that I’ve consumed hundred of hours of FNAF lore is the third hardest thing I’ve had to come out as”

Seems like we have the whole set of ‘things Kwite has had to come out as’:

-Bisexual
-Furry
-FNAF fan

[legaellecy]

the pickup line I invented:

“hey, girl, are you a Buzzfeed quiz? cause I wanna figure out which Disney princess you are based on your favorite spreads on sandwiches”

[ultrasimpsannie]

It's sad how most of these pickup lines would work on me cuz they'd make me laugh

[yetet]

bro i just realised its kinda hilarious that a guy whos face never gets seen is advertising a face skincare routine
love it