TNC320- Your achievements make a narcissist feel insecure. You dont get to be happy if they arent

On episode 320 of THE NARCISSISTS' Code I talk about how Your achievements make a narcissist feel insecure. You dont get to be happy if they arent happy. Narcissists want to control how you feel around them and you dont get to celebrate if they arent winning.

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

You can find me on -

Click the BEACON up top for direct links. Thank you so much and lets HEAL together

[godsfavor]

yes I truly believe in that quote about misery. The narc doesn’t want to see others experiencing happiness due to their selfish and insecure ways. Boss up and really piss them off 😝

[rebeccalucas]

I wanted to go back to school, he had 3 degrees, threw it in my face that he made 6 figures and graduated with honors.
When I decided I was ready to change my career, and go back to school (I never asked him to pay my tuition, I was handling that myself) yet, he flew into a wild rage because I wanted to better myself.
If a person tries to hold you down, it's time to pack up and leave.

[munequa]

Success is truly the best revenge on a narcissist.

[deborahday]

The unaware narcissist definitely needs his or her partner to be in a subservient position in the relationship so that they can feel better about themselves. That's why many of them, for example, want a wife that doesn't work so she can't compete with him and will end up having to be dependent on him. Super insecure.

[Magnus_Kitty]

This is sooo true! They treat you how they feel about themselves. My narc would always say to me how much he "admired" how kind and good I was, but yet would always go on to treat me terribly. It was like he hated me or resented me for having values and morals and that it came easy to me, and he of course always had to try to push or destroy those values/boundaries because of that. It's just pretty sad when you finally realize what's going on.

[looweegee]

True! They try to project their own failures and insecurities onto you!!! It even happens in the comment sections of narcissism videos 😂😂😂

[haley]

Once I started nursing school his behavior started shifting...the closer I got to graduation the worst his abuse, cheating, lies, and guilt became.

[newseason]

Ur on point...I finally told him he was jealous of me my kids and my job! 🗣️🗣️He would constantly talk about my job and the Money I made. He would tell me-i know what happens in Dr offices..they all cheat🧐! It was so draining trying to make him feel comfortable..finally I left and I'm so happy I don't have to hear the negativity anymore.

[ddc]

Your not allowed to be happy unless they are and if you show you are happy when they are not you will pay. Your success only counts if it reflects somehow on them and makes them look better, but behind closed doors your success is not important, no matter how much it benefits
Ridiculous....

[ashpterodactyl]

This. I don't tell my mom when I'm excited about something or achieved something because she'll be negative about it or start literally pouting, because she can't handle that I did something great without her. But any time she gets any type of promotion or recognition at work (no matter how small), we're supposed to bring it up and celebrate it forever. She literally still talks about being "employee of the quarter" at a job she had 5 years ago.

[krisw]

He lashed out at me for my successes in the last two years. He acted as if he was happy for me but in reality he wasn’t at all. I tried to pull him up with me and help him study for his state license but he didn’t care. He blamed me for failing but we didn’t even live together. He told me I was doing too much for him too fast. I didn’t know it was a competition.

[stohandmadejewelrycraftcorner]

This is true. I am starting over right now because of this very thing. The people closes to me have been like crabs in a barrel most of my life. I am free now to start over and live my life without the road blocks.🔥😊🙏🏾💕💯

[denisekubica]

The advice I got from my mom was to never tell about something good going on, an accomplishment, a goal I hit, any of it, all because she was feeling crappy about herself. Thanks for explaining this.

[coricalvert]

The exact example you made about a degree happened to me. My narc didn’t graduate from High School. He always put me down for having a Bachelors Degree as he said it was a total waste. He made it sound like an embarrassment.

[dmcv]

Wow that team thing was all I ever wanted with my narc husband. So sad that after 26 years married 23 if he could have understood that we would not be in the process of divorce. We are both very independent I needed a team mate and not a opponent.

[hooballoolify]

HOLD UP! The moment you talked about schooling hit home with me. I worked hard to get my masters degree but at times (very few), I needed a little help along the way due to "brain freezes". My older sister voluntarily helped me...but at THAT time, I didn't realize that she was a narcissist. My youngest sister explained to me later on (years after graduating) that she bragged to family and friends that she did MOST of my work. THAT'S A LIE!!! I worked a job while working on my master's and graduated in one year. Unfortunately, her narcissistic attitude has gotten worse with age. It's frustrating and sad.

[sherrirobinson]

This is so true because my husband seems jealous of my job. I am a RN and if i come home talking about my nite he will be so grumpy. But he was the one who encouraged me to go back to school, but he always says he is the only one not doing anything in his life. He is retired so is home all the time. Then comes up with sum idea of grandeur that is so unrealistic to achieve.

[nugget]

This is the envy they are known for. It's more complex than it seems. Definitely not normal envy.

[jacqui]

That's so true. Boy Lee, my mind's open to what used to happen with my Ex-Narc.
He'd say sarcastically, "I only have a GED, but I'm smart, I know things you don't". He'd use a big word like 3-4 times in a conversation in an hour to show he knows words...lol I totally ignored him. Funny thing is I never even tried to tell him about his language. His level of education didn't matter to me.

[agieb]

I appreciate the awareness and validation.