5 Reasons Why You Have Social Anxiety as a Fearful Avoidant | HealingFa.com

Discover 5 reasons why you probably have social anxiety as a fearful avoidant. Understanding why fearful avoidants are more likely to feel anxious when out in groups of people, can help you take better care of yourself in social settings and allow for a compassionate self-awareness. Join us as we explore the impact of attachment styles on how you feel around others.

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-- CONTENTS --

00:00 Intro
00:47 Picking up on every small cue
03:22 Taking on other people's emotions
06:57 Feeling pressure to perform
09:42 Feeling responsible that nothing goes wrong
11:33 Taking everything personally
14:57 How all this prevents connection

Video Title: 5 Reasons Why You Have Social Anxiety as a Fearful Avoidant

This video is the about 5 Reasons Why You Have Social Anxiety as a Fearful Avoidant . But It also covers the following topics:

How to understand social anxiety
Fearful Avoidant Attachment
Emotional Connection

✅ Stay Connected With Me.



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✅ Recommended Playlists

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👉4 Reasons why Fearful Avoidants make amazing partners

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✅ About Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant.

The way you feel right now is not the way you are. If you want more freedom, calm, love, and peace in your head, body, and life, it is possible. You are not too broken.
‌After spending 14 years healing the fearful avoidant attachment style, I am beyond passionate and dedicated to getting you to where I am now: living a life true to myself, waking up feeling rested and peaceful. Deeply in love with my husband and looking forward to the future. This is what life is supposed to be like, and it is my honor to help you get there.
‌
In the past 7 years, I have guided over 2000 people through my Dutch programs (I am from the Netherlands), to a secure attachment and happy relationship. Over the past year and a half, another 150 beautiful people have been through the English program Healed&Happy. I love seeing how lives can change within three months, and how NORMAL it can feel to have a secure attachment. I wish you so much joy, pleasure, and love.

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#fearfulavoidant #attachmentstyles #friendships #emotionalhealing #personaldevelopment #emotionalintelligence #psychology #socialanxiety

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© Paulien Timmer - Healing the fearful-avoidant

[veronikaljungberg]

I’d love a video about your friendship struggles and how you healed that part of your life. Im just in the beginning of my journey and dont have any friends.

[Anne.....]

Yes, please make a video about friendships and your struggles with it. I have like you longed for authentic friendships, and especially friendships were other people would hold space for my emotions and the things that I experience sometimes, just as I hold space for them. But I always seem to end up in friendships with people who never ask me questions or respond to what I am saying in an interested and empathic way. And often also with friends where I can not get a word in edgewise, they simply talk and talk, and talk over me as well. This makes me very sad.

[herbwelch]

Thank you, Paulien! I feel so seen with this video and it is empowering and reassuring to know other people feel the same way. 29 years old and the clouds of confusion are finally parting. Hallelujah!

[koala]

I used to feel so anxious and "scared" to go to the city center in my hometown, while it was easier in the town where I was studying at University and before University even when in Uk when I stayed 3 months studying English in a school with lots of other people and lots of activities, parties, trips. Those places where like happy places, while my hometown has always been associated to toxicity, negative emotions and experiences. I managed to start feeling more secure going around the town with my second dog, 'cos he was so proud and secure in himself and I felt so safe with him. I still struggle sometimes here and don't like to go out in pubs, etc, unless I have to play, while I like going to social events when I'm in Uk or somewhere else and again because those places are my happy places or are simply not connected to negativity

[princessyas]

yes please make a vid on friendships!!!☺️

[tylertoyne]

Would love a video on friendships! I find that is something I struggle with greatly. Thanks for being awesome Paulien :)

[iloveTool]

Wow, this was eye opening. Last weekend I was starting to get sick and was apologizing up and down to my friend about being so quiet that day. Never realized I had this view that need to be in tuned/happy/talkative whenever hang out with friends. I would never expect that from my friends so why do I put that expectation on myself? I love how you put that - real friends will enjoy hanging out with you whether you're happy, sad, not feeling well, irritable etc.

[mujtaba]

I discovered I'm FA a month ago, and all of this is so true. Suffered from hardcore social anxiety for almost 1.5 years, and did a lot of work on myself to manage it, but its amazing to understand the root cause finally

[monicamonica]

Pls make this kindof video 🥺 im struggling with this a lot, and feeling so lonely, like don't have the skills to make friends 😔

[evadebruijn]

Yes please on the whole story around friendships.
Since I was inauthentic my friendships were inauthentic and I had to let go.
What you said about expecting emotional maturity, well... I cannot expect from people what I myself can not deliver. Zero conflict skills, it is grit the teeth and endure (and resent...) or bolt.
I have such an idealistic view of friendship, like it is level blood brothers or were mere 'kennissen' (no idea how to spell aquiaintances correctly)
so in a way nothing ever makes the cut to earn the honorary title of True Friend. I have been f'ed over / taken for a ride / pushed around/ have wool pulled over my eyes by women even more than men so I am also burdened with a big fat dollop of once bitten twice shy apprehension when it comes to befriending women.

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[hannahwrenn]

This is me to a T. I’m so glad I found your channel cause everything you say, describes me completely. Struggling so much on the relationship front right now. Hate him one day, obsessed with him the next. Just downloaded your 3 day program so hopefully I can start healing!

[phonypin]

FINALLY feel for the first time that it all makes sense. I am a "why" person and although I have known everything you are talking about is who or how I am... I never knew WHY. Thank you for speaking on this topic!!

[pssyclwz]

Really appreciate your videos thank you 🥹🙏🏻💕

[joshliam]

Thank you for this and all of your videos :)

[wavy]

This video really came at the perfect timing for me, thank you so much ❤
Your insight is incredibly helpful and I find myself relating to everything you say. I feel so validated while watching these videos!

Oh, I also have the exact same pothos! 💚😊

[liamnewsom]

Really been enjoying your videos on my daily walk to work, you have a very nurturing presence

[TheLena]

Wow, nailed so many things for me. I've been in therapy for social anxiety for 15years and thought I understood my situation well but somehow had so many light bulb moments listening to this. Thank you for the clarity!!!

[maddymclaugh]

Soooo helpful!!! I need help with this for sure😬😭

[nhshvmd]

Hi PAULIEN, I'm glad I came across your channel, I'm 32 years old and until recently I didn't even know I had generalized anxiety. Dealing with most of the symptoms lack of sleep, fatigue, body aches, dizziness and headaches. I left all kinds of jobs, I always went to hard physical jobs, with as little interaction with people as possible, jobs where you can't really develop, I also tend to please people, I also did it at home, with my parents, my brothers, etc...I have a difficult mother from a young age, she was critical of me, no matter how much I helped her at home, I worked as hard as she could, she was always looking for what was wrong, specifically me like a garbage god and the other sisters like angels, if I was sick I dealt with it alone. Of course there is a lot to tell about the family relationship but as of today I just want advice on where to start, I have also been called lazy a few times because of periods when I did not work. I am 32 years old and I want my independence, to conduct myself freely, I don't let people get too close to me, I very much avoid close relationships
I kept dreaming of leaving the house for my independence, in the end I realized that I was afraid and I also didn't have the means to do so. I was also very ashamed at that time of the situation. I didn't share the shame with anyone. Is it possible to love and be loved when it's the most frightening thing about intimacy and commitment, as if I've gotten used to instability and suffering. Today I have to work, I want to work with people and clients because I have to open up to the world, I'm afraid of authority figures and afraid of making mistakes, fear of criticism, of course there is pressure from the future as well. Should I take this step despite the fear? I wanted friendship and 'girls connect with me, I cut contact without informing, just disappear, I want to be me and meet people from a more authentic place...help!
The lack of experience in life and the shortcomings scare me
I'm afraid that I don't have the necessary skills and experience, should I start working despite the fear?

[edwardtjones]

Yes, it would be interesting – you're such a powerful voice for the FA, and as someone trying to connect with a couple people with that attachment style, I'd love to hear your experience with friendships. I don't think I'm necessarily FA, but I have my own struggles with maintaining friendships as well, and in some ways, they parallel the anxiety you described in this video.