How to Give (and Take) Criticism Well

How do we give and take criticism as Christians? Usually, when it’s from someone who loves us, criticism is about growing in holiness and virtue together. When we give criticism, it should be from the common biblical call to admonish the faithful.

Criticism should not be condescending. It should not be used to break someone down, but ultimately to build them up, as any good parent would do. One of the Blessed Mother’s titles is Our Lady of Good Counsel, and that is what we are doing when we lovingly criticize or admonish those we love. We are giving them good, although tough, counsel.

Many people like to forget every part of the Bible except Christ’s words, “Do not judge” (Matthew 7:1). However, the call to repent, change our lives, and turn to God and away from sin is very much a part of the Bible. In fact, the first words of Jesus’ ministry are, “Repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 3:2)

Romans 15:1 states:

“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves; let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to edify him.”

Titus 1says to “amend what was defective” and to “rebuke sharply” empty talkers and deceivers “that they may be sound in the faith”.

Those who have humility will take admonishment as an opportunity to grow in faith. As painful as it could be, this is how God prunes our branches so we can grow better. Good criticism is good counsel.

Sometimes we do get and give bad counsel, though. Sometimes those who are given bad criticism can use that as a fire under them to prove their critics wrong. So even when we receive bad criticism, we can use that to our advantage.

When this happens, remember St. Paul’s words, “to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all lowliness and meekness, with patience, forbearing one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).

Where do I need to grow? How do I interiorize the criticism I receive? Just as importantly, how do I give good counsel to those I love, and lovingly admonish them where they are wrong? Jesus loves us enough as we are, but loves us too much to leave us as we are.

❓Have ideas for future videos ❓ Topics you want to hear about ❓ Questions you want answered ❓Make sure to put #AskAscension in your comment 👍

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[Richie]

Lord's calling speaks to the heart, to cultivate his love it's right to act & ensure fulfillment of his word.

[mazikode]

Thank you..i struggle with receiving criticism and also giving honest advice
I dont like offending others, but it seems its my Christian duty to do so

[nategraham]

That is the biggest kicker, the 'in love" part, which is usually missing.

[ErinGaffneyCenturies]

Thank you, this is helpful. People haven't always given me criticism for the sake of growth, but I am seeking to grow from the love-focused criticism I receive.

[theshamedarcher]

This is crazy. I am expecting major criticism in my workplace tomorrow. I made real errors today and I will be brought forward becouse of it tomorrow. I am afraid. God help me.

[warrenroybal]

What makes this hard is admonishing older family members..

[ximenafernandezdeparedes]

I’m about to start my masters in counseling and this video is so encouraging for me ♥️💪🏼

[bielsabas]

I was down in despair for a few days now. Please pray for me, for clarity and counsel, for the ability to take on the mind of Christ.. It's easy for me to get discouraged and sometimes I feel like shouting at myself that I'm stupid, and I always feel like I'll never amount to anything. It's been specially difficult the past few days. Thanks for this video, please pray for me hehe

[gracelynnangela]

very inspiring! Thank you Ascention Presents ! Awesome as always!

[SD-ETAC]

I will never forget working in operating room #8 and starting to speak I'll of another co-worker and a Christian friend called me out with a stern "STEPHEN, do you want to go down that road??! and several non-believers of Jesus or any other entityy or a supreme being, looked at me and watched what I then did next (which was to apologize.) I may never know what those others thought of one Christian calling out another in a stern but loving way but I pray it blessed their lives.

[kevymoranski]

My whole life is criticism since I got married.😝 j/k

[IONov]

I have grown in accepting criticism but I can get touchy or overly sensitive when someone tells me the truth about myself. It stings especially when the person is reckless with their words or when the person is uncompromisingly honest. It takes a lot of humility to accept harsh criticism or accept honest criticism from someone you don't like

[Unoriginal]

It’s been a while since I’ve watched a video. I never missed after the first video. Glad I checked in. Always compelling.

[Rose-xksy]

I wish i was surrounded by more people like you all. It's hard battling all this alone

And, i wish to know something and i hope someone would answer this for me.

The thing is, the Churches in my area have been closed for close to 5 months now and i am attending Holy Mass online. But i don't know what to do for confession. I am confessing straight to Jesus when i do something wrong. But things are getting pretty bad here. And i wish to be ready for my Lord when he calls me.

My heart really goes out to all those poor souls who were called while they were in a state of sin.

[hksuperstar]

Great advice. Thanks for sharing, Bobby

[Onlinesully]

I'm not sure that it's criticism when a friend tells you that "God is calling you to be the leader and you might not feel ready but we need you to do it"

that's got to be a lovely or inspiring thing to hear.

[ruhyp]

Hello Asecension ..i was wondering if you offer these talks in Spanish?

[LoveeveryoneRomans]

Lord Jesus please help me in Jesus name I ask for help Amen

[brendaesteveslara]

#AskAscension please, speak more about rigidity, make videos for teens, about Cathecism and the history of Church! Kisses from Brazil my brothers and sisters! 🇧🇷🇺🇸

[jamieholmes]

I’m new to this channel, so if you’ve done a video already, I apologise, but could you please do a video on confrontation?

Usually, when people have a go at me, I can be quite harsh back and I want to change. What’s the Christian way of dealing with confrontation?

#AskAscension