Submission is Misunderstood

[ShadowAlex]

"Confuse then with their own bullshit"

-Sun Tzu

[SuperiorWare]

She just described every chick who think she a boss but never boss up when she need too.

[Nyarlathotep_Flagg]

As a man, I can never understand how they don't already have these arguments squared away in their heads? It's like something is COMPLETELY missing with that cognitive dissonance, as in literal insanity.

[jinn_]

"I'm a strong independent woman."
"You're the man, you pay the bill."
Logik

[comradeboris]

Some women don't understand that a loving and healthy relationship with mutual love and respect is not an act of submission.

[Burt]

In a nutshell: "I want a man who leads but I don't want to follow".

[adlantian]

To be in a relationship, both parties must be willing to be vulnerable. The price of a healthy, sustainable relationship is sacrificing a level of independence.

[yonisMw]

In my country we have a TV show about strong independent, female lawyers.
They're all divorced.
100% of them.

[marcush]

"How can a man lead without you submitting to him"

Ask any combat veteran. Leadership is something we WANT to follow. Rulership is something we are forced to follow.

A leader isnt superior. They act first in a way that the people around them admire. A ruler is superior.

Leaders are peers, not superiors.

[paulcooverjr.]

This is my stance for 51 years. Women " I need a real man, a leader", but my independence comes first and you are trying to control me! WTF!
How can I lead if you won't follow.

[EnduringInIdaho]

Last line is most important...

They look for someone that:
1. is taller, and stronger so they can protect.
2. makes more money so that they can provide.
3. More educated, knowledgeable and worldly so they can learn and turn to them for advice and to solve problems
4. Someone trustworthy, decisive, charismatic, and reliable to lead them.
5. So one stable, wise, understanding, empathetic yet stoic, to help tend their emotions.
6. Someone that will love them unconditionally, and do anything for them, as long as it truly is in their best interest, and it doesn't compromise all the other needs previously provisioned for.
7. Will put up with lies, a lack of accountability, temper tantrums, crocodile tears, and attempts at emotional manipulation, and maintain all previously mentioned provisions.

These are all things a child needs in a parent.

[ahynonomys]

Broke it all the way the fuck down! Perfectly said 👏🏽

[MLJ]

Nailed it 🔨

& the pup is too cute 🐕

[Nocmora]

if you and your coworker do different tasks, it doesn't make one superior. He takes care materially, she does mentally and physically with keeping the space they live in in good condition - both are working. The problem is that we think of traditionally feminine work as lesser than traditionally masculine work. Neither are submitting, they both are working on the same project (the relationship)

[martinovilladari]

It is all in the lingo. It is all also in the background. Modern women are educated and hold career they worked hard at getting, and men too. Rather than stick to the 50' with the aging domestic roles, time to redefine expectations. I think it would be fair we both contribute to the health, finance security, mental well being and the raising of the children. What need to stop is the lack of loyalty to the family circle. You can be financially secure, having a good career and still be a good mom, a good wife and a good friend.

[SirDavid]

Most people nowadays do not use the words “ submit, submissive “ correctly, or they only use it in a negative way. Remember people, the word submit imply consent, so you always CHOOSE to submit, you are not forced, and if you are forced then that’s simply abuse not submission, huge difference

[ChrissoDiiFonso]

It's so insane, you're a woman who managed to literally understand how men feels and see things from their perspective. So rare

[vihaanpatel]

It's not "independence" it's their ego

[schrodingerscat]

The words “submit” and “superior” come with a lot of baggage when used in the context of relationships. Also I think that when people say they want someone to “make them feel safe, ” “take away their stress”, or “take the lead” it’s meant to be situational. If you don’t feel unsafe/stressed/tired of decision making, then you don’t want someone to override your agency. But if you do, then temporarily giving up agency is just what it means to rely on someone.

[plav]

this is one of the most elegant ways I've ever heard this explained. I totally understand the dynamic that leads women to feel the way they do, it's not evil, it's just what we've told modern women since they were children. We as men need to just take the lead and stop being angry at them.