The 3 BIGGEST Lies About Caregiving

It's time to challenge the misconceptions that might be holding you back in your caregiving journey. In this video, we're diving deep into the three biggest lies about dementia caregiving and how they can impact you.

Join the conversation! Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let's support each other in breaking free from these caregiving myths.

#CaregivingLies #CaregiverSupport #DementiaCaregiving

💡 What You'll Learn:
Why striving for your loved one's happiness at all costs can be detrimental.
The importance of prioritizing your own health and well-being.
How to break free from the belief that your loved one with dementia needs to change.
Practical tips for dementia caregivers.

🔑 Key Moments:
00:00 - Introduction to Caregiving Myths
01:36 - Lie #1: Keeping Your Loved One Happy is Your Sole Goal
05:16 - Lie #2: Your Loved One's Health is More Important Than Yours
09:21 - Lie #3: Your Life Can't Improve Until Your Caregiving Role Changes
13:50 - How to Change for a Better Caregiving Experience

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It’s our mission to make dementia caregiving easier for families caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, frontotemporal dementia, lewy body dementia, vascular dementia, or any other type of dementia. We believe that in order to create a more dementia friendly world, we must first create a caregiver friendly world. That's why we create free educational training videos like this one so that anyone with an internet connection can get access to dementia care information.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this video - or any content by Dementia Careblazers - does not replace the need for healthcare professionals. Our content is not healthcare advice and is not a substitute for your own healthcare. It is for general education and demonstration only. Do not use this content to self-diagnose or self-treat any health, medical, or physical condition. By consuming content from Dementia Careblazers, you agree to hold harmless and indemnify Dementia Careblazers LLC for any and all losses, injuries, or damages resulting from any and all claims that arise from your use or misuse of this content. All content or recommendations on the company’s website, social media, blog, or email series. All comments from Dementia Careblazers’ are expressions of opinion only.

In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[maypalmer]

For me, care giving Sucks as I am not a caring person by nature. It's just how I am. However, the only way I can make caring for my husband with vascular dementia tolerable is to focus on what I am amazing at and that is "getting it done" when it comes to his meals, meds, scheduling his doctor's appointments, etc., I do not have to "feel" anything (which I don't) in order to do what only I can do, by the Grace of God. Yeah, sounds "hard core" but, it's the only way I can survive the "hell" that is for me, being a care giver. I don't need to "feel" anything, the joy for me is in the doing and the cool people I get to meet along the way. Oh, and by the way, Dr. Natali is one incredible lady both inside and out! Careblaze on, y'all!!

[Aomame]

My health severely declined while taking care of my father. When I really needed help, my family couldn’t step in. After I was hospitalized, everything my dad and I owned of value was sold to put him in care. A lot of the time, we can’t take care of ourselves. There’s no full night’s sleep. There is no one to clean or cook.

[pintsizestories]

My husband is in early stage dementia. I no longer feel I can go away overnight so no more solo visits to children which I really miss. I have been working on building in time away at home. I belong to an online writers group that focuses on short fiction. I email and phone friends ( speaker phone means I can chat while I do meal prep). I do crafts and garden and enter things in the local fair. I can knit while I talk with my husband and then feel I accomplished something when I have a new pair of socks. I watch Youtube videos on travel so I can enjoy other countries from my home. I go to church and a Ladies group and if it gets to the point where I can't leave him for those times, I will hire someone to stay with him so I can keep going. I have hummingbird feeders because the birds are so pretty to watch. I try to make my home a pleasant space. I don't get any emotional support from my husband so I look for it elsewhere. I wouldn't care if he criticized the meal. I would know that I had prepared a healthy meal for him and that's what counts.

[donwickersham]

After reading the comments, I am glad I was accepted for medicaid and my wife will rec care in a nursing home that loves her as much as I do. Yes, I take a financial hit but this is best course for the 4 children if I was to pass. I visit her daily with a loving heart and not isolation, frustration and guilt. Thank you, you saved this caregiver's life.

[debby]

Great information! I have no doubt that my 86 year old mom will outlive me and am her caregiver 24/7. I have serious health issues, constantly having to cancel or reschedule my appointments because have no one to be with her and have tried so many times. It’s physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting

[jaynecallahanhenson]

My 81 year old husband has been ill since March 2006. It changed my life completely. I have had to give up opportunities to travel or go on vacations. My entire life consists of cooking or foraging for food, washing clothes, washing dishes, emptying urinals, bagging feces, etc, etc, etc. I am so lonely that sometimes I wish that I would go to sleep at night and not awaken the next day. I wonder whether he will live another 20 years and will I still be doing this until I die. Right now, I have no joy in my life, and I’m so sad and depressed.

[alf]

Guilty of #3. I have to remind myself (daily) that This Is My Life. I don't get to push pause & then start life back up once my HWD passes away.
Recently my mom asked me how I wanted to celebrate my milestone birthday. My immediate response was to celebrate a different milestone when I become a widow. I told her the thought of figuring out what to do with my spouse during the celebration was way too much to even contemplate. I'm working to change that misguided mindset.

[jillianroberts]

Thank you Dr. Natalie for this i feel like number 3 is definitely me ! I struggle with this . I cannot tell my 89 yr old mom with Alzeihmers when i go away for even a day she gets panicked . Even a few hours. I have to make something up. Taking care of myself and my health and my husband and my Mom all is overwhelming. I have to let alot of things go and that’s ok. I do feel guilty when my husband wants to go away for the weekend and it makes it extremely difficult to find someone to care for my mom so we just don’t go anywhere. Then he feels resentful. And it’s hard to find good reliable people. I have no sisters or brothers to help. My brother lives 10 hours away. The burden is all on me i feel bad even saying that. But this is not how I envisioned my 60s 😮! One day at a time .

[tinamaddison]

Feel angry and sad when they don't like the meal. And then I started to understand that it's the dementia and I have to not take it to heart.

[pamgripp]

Thanks to Dr. Natalie I am doing better. I have fully endorsed all three lies and it was killing me. I watch over my mother in law who has never really liked me so I began my journey on a bad note. My MIL has always been reclusive and opinionated so even on a good day she didn’t want to go out around other people or have anyone in her house. She also has etched in stone beliefs about what foods she can eat. Vanilla ice cream is her largest portion of her diet. For Thanksgiving our little town delivers a full turkey dinner with all the fixings to shut ins. She is 83 and lives alone and was absolutely delighted by the horse and buggy delivery of her meal. She eats like a bird but she loved the turkey, dressing, green beans and pumpkin pie. She ate about half a plate and I helped her put the leftovers in the refrigerator. Next day when I arrived to help her reheat the food, I couldn’t find it in the refrigerator but did locate it all in the trash. She didn’t recognize it and forgot how it got there. In her mind it was not safe so she threw it out. I was used to her dumping food but it surely did pull at my heart to see dinner in the trash. But then I think…….there but for the grace of whoever go I and remember that I was able to enjoy my dinner and leftovers. Such an impossible disease to manage. Thanks to all you care blazers who keep me mostly on track!

[clay]

Controlling my thoughts is the key to surviving this difficult situation. Now I am getting control of my anger and other negative habits. It’s getting so much better now. Thank you so much.

[FreeWill]

As a caregiver for a company… I encourage my patients husband or wife to relax and take a nap when I come, to go out to lunch with friends and to never feel guilty to get more help when stress levels rise. Because if the caregiving family or spouse gets ill…. Both of you will need a caregiver. Take care of yourself too ❤

[pintsizestories]

Number 3 - so important. Thanks for that.

[factsoverfiction]

Yes, self-neglect is real. A Texas-based dementia care channel shared their state's statistic: about 60% of dementia caregivers die before their loved one. This death rate went down only 5% for adult chidren caring for a parent. Chilling.

[carolwidenhofer]

I am focusing on giving my husband a better quality of life also by putting his needs ahead of my wants.

[Nicki]

How incredibly sad. My physician warned me if the same thing and it would be necessary for me to make changes. And that was the big question… what would happen to my husband if I died?

[susanjones]

Thank you! My guilt level dropped during this video

[egsqcis]

What would we do without you, Dr Natali?
Thank you for educating us, guiding us and supporting us through this journey.

[Ke-qvmd]

Wow this is so me. All three of these. I am so tired, exhausted I can't think at times. I get no sleep most of the time as my mom is up every hour or so to use the restroom. I feel J need to get up to help her as she uses a walker and is on oxygen. So I need to make sure she does not trip on the cord. I do put off my appointments for the mist part.

[stevenblack]

We always ask each other in our care group how each of us how we are doing and what we we have done for ourselves each week so true how we forget to look after ourselves ❤