Dr. David Hanscom: The Myth of Self Esteem & Anxiety

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The actions of self esteem come first, the feelings of self esteem follow. Treat yourself with respect, pay attention to yourself, advocate for yourself...just like you would a loved one. Take action first...the feelings will follow.

esteemity
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Albert Ellis wrote a book called the myth of self-esteem. It sounds like you came to a very similar conclusion.

ChadCilli
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Awareness, detachment, de-programming. A myth is this: happiness is the goal of life. Actually, life is a spectrum of emotions and experiences, and how we perceive  them. Buddhist thought: Enjoy what there is to enjoy, suffer what there is to suffer. Any chosen Life Path presents obstacles. Happiness is not my goal. Self-realization is.

JessicaWilliamspianist