The Marble Jar Analogy... with a twist | Powerful Parenting Tip

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Today I want to talk about The idea of the Marbles Jar.
In Psalms 90:12 it says “Teach me to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom” To me, this is the heart behind the marble jar analogy.
This is a concept I have heard of since I had young kids. I really like it
When you have a baby you have 936 weeks until your kid turns 18.
So if you have a baby. Here is your jar. 936 marbles - The marbles represent time. One week of time per marble.
If you have a student in Grade 6 - here is your jar - 364
I have 2 teenagers. This is the jar for Zoe my oldest. She is 17. 75 marbles.
The idea here is that each week you take out one marble from the jar to remind you of this finite amount of time you have with your kids in these stages of life.
Now a few things
1. It is not perfect. The kids born in Jan will always be the oldest (my daughter is March baby). My son, on the other hand, is a NOV baby so one of the youngest in his classes. So it is not like you pull out the last marble and all your kids will be graduating in June of their Grade 12 / senior year.
2. It is not like they all head off to school after this. Some go away, some stay home, some take a gap year and some head straight into the workplace.
The point is that with every marble you take out it SHOULD have an impact on things on how you do life with your kids:
- Daily life, daily conversations
- Have family dinners
- Family vacations
- Birthdays / Christmas’/ Other Holidays
- Going to church together
- Watching you kids play sports, dance, do gymnastics etc at school or in the community
- Go see a movie etc
- go for a walk, or the gym together
- sit on the couch and talk, etc

Now when I talk about the marbles jar with parents in my talks I can see the physical reaction to it. People’s shoulders drop, Their facial expressions change. I have had many people start to cry. This is where I differ from the other marble analogies I have heard. The marbles jar is not done when they turn 18.
So you as a parent have your kid move out and go to school, or move into an apartment, etc. Restart the marbles analogy. Dump out the remaining marbles if there is any. Empty jar - Now here is your new challenge
Each time you do any things to build into your kid (your young adult, adult etc) I want you to add a marble back into the jar.
- when you support, encourage, mentor
- Cook a meal for, take out for coffee, dinner etc
- Each time you talk on the phone, skype or facetime
- Each time you go to a meal, grocery shopping or take a vacation with your kid (and maybe their family in time)
- Any time you buy gifts for your kids, or in time your grandkids

Basically any time you build into your kids in any way you add a marble back to the jar.

Here is your challenge. I dare you to fill up the jar again. It took you 18 years to empty your jar. Let’s see how quickly you can fill it up again.
Someone said what do you do if you fill your jar again. Then you dump it and fill it up again. Once a parent. Always a parent. It never ends. It just changes, My parents are in their 70’s and still speak truth into my life and the life of my family.
Many people I know actually bought marbles and physically use this analogy in their home or their office. If you do not want to buy physical marbles and jars you can do it an easier way. There is an APP called The Parent Cure (I have linked it below). If you download their app. In the app, once you sign up and sign in you can do the Marbles analogy digitally for your kids.
No matter how you do it it is a great way to remind yourself of the passing of time and the importance of you being involved in your kid's lives.

App for Parents - The Parent Cue

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