Dr. Obaji Agbiji, Teaching 'Dealing with Emptiness'.

DEALING WITH EMPTINESS
What is Emptiness? Emptiness describes a range of emotions, including feelings of loneliness, sadness, or feeling numb or disconnected.
The feeling of emptiness may be normal when it is as a result of a loss, trauma, or other difficult life event.
What Causes Chronic Feeling of Emptiness?
- Trauma or Loss: Feelings of emptiness are often related to a trauma or loss, possibly even one that happened a long time ago. People who have experienced childhood abuse, especially emotional abuse, are more likely to report chronic feelings of emptiness.
- Loosing Someone or Something You Love: Feelings of emptiness are also commonly reported by people who lose someone or something they love.
- Something Wrong or Missing in ones’ Life: Sometimes, feelings of emptiness reflect something that is wrong or missing within a person’s life, including staying in a job, relationship, or place they no longer feel connected to.
The Different Manifestations of Emptiness:
• Anhedonia: Anhedonia describes feeling a loss of interest and pleasure in activities previously enjoyed.
• Loneliness: Loneliness describes emptiness and sadness that comes from a lack of social connection.
• Hopelessness: Hopelessness is a kind of emptiness that people begin thinking will never end or go away.
• Worthlessness: Worthlessness is a feeling of shame, or not being “enough” in one or more ways.
• Despair: Despair is an intense form of emotional pain that is overwhelming and can even feel bottomless.
• Disconnection: Feeling disconnected can mean a number of things. Some people feel disconnected from other.
• Numbness: Feeling numb or unable to experience any emotions whatsoever is often a defense mechanism that people develop to cope with emotional pain.
• Longing: Longing often comes from feeling like there is something missing in life.
How to Fill the Empty Void of Emptiness:
In addition to seeking counseling, there may also be some things you can do on your own to begin addressing your feelings of emptiness.
1. Start a Spiritual Meditation: What is your relationship with God with particular reference to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit, daily prayer and bible study, etc?
Meditation and mindfulness describe the practice of being more aware and present in your moment to moment experiences, helping people feel more connected to themselves and their experiences. Mindfulness and meditation also involve being able to pull back and get distance from difficult thoughts, stories, and feelings, which you may have been unconsciously numbing or avoiding.
2. Spend More Time Connecting with Others
Humans are social beings and depend on connection and interactions with others.
3. Be More Intentional in the Use of Your Free Time
Instead of binge-watching TV on weekends, make your time off count. Plan things on weekends and evenings that are normally fun, interesting, and fulfilling to you, and push through the initial resistance you might encounter because you “don’t feel like” doing them.
4. Set and Work Towards Goals to Improve Yourself
Setting goals can combat emptiness caused by hopelessness, worthlessness, and longing, helping you direct your efforts towards improving your life and circumstances in measurable ways. Setting goals also provides purpose and meaning to your daily life, encouraging you to keep a hopeful view of the future.
5. Find a Creative Outlet in Your thinking
Being creative is good for you in many ways, helping to challenge your brain to think in new ways, giving you an outlet for thoughts and feelings, and providing the satisfaction of bringing your ideas to life. Many creative pursuits are also “flow” activities, or activities that are mentally stimulating and engaging, good for your psychological well being, and providing a sense of calm confidence.
6. Feel Your Feelings
Emotions are part of what make life full and meaningful, and connect you to yourself, others, and your experiences. People who suppress their emotions may experience a sense of emptiness.
7. Heal Old Wounds
Feelings of emptiness stemming from past traumas or losses require people to do the hard work of revisiting and healing these old wounds.
8. Learn More About Yourself
Many people who describe feeling empty inside feel disconnected from themselves and can benefit from doing some introspective work. direction.
9. Be More Active
Exercise and physical activity are good for all aspects of your physical and mental health. Being more active helps you balance brain chemicals that regulate your mood, reduce stress, and provide energy.
10. Find a Way to Contribute or Give Back
The act of helping others is one of the most rewarding and psychologically beneficial ways to spend your time and energy. Finding ways to contribute also helps with feelings of emptiness that originate from a lack of connection, purpose, or self-worth.