Why Trading Onions on Financial Markets is Illegal

Video written by Adam Chase

[MrHatoi]

Imagine the unbelievable flex of being able to say "I own every onion in the United States of America."

[cherrypepsi]

"He wanted to own all of the onions"
*my goals are beyond your understanding*

[vichkar]

So what are you in jail for?
"Murder"
"Robbery"
"Trading onions on the stock market"

[joshkahl]

Banning the sale of onion futures seems like an oddly specific solution to what I imagine could be a more general problem.

[brumpbo]

Fun fact: this same scheme is literally the only reason diamonds are expensive. Artificial scarcity. The DeBeers corporation pulled this off successfully, unlike Cuddlebuns and his onions.

[lelouchunderground]

"Hey, why you don't make a law punishing market manipulation for onions?"
"Do you mean any market manipulation?"
"No, only onions..."

[KasabianFan]

That is the best thumbnail I have ever seen.

[bigj]

British: "The sun never sets on our empire."
Vincent: "I own all the onions, even the ones that haven't grown yet."
British: 🧐

[FlavorLab]

Any one else cringe at how these onions are chopped in the stock footage, or that awkward man bun?

[danielbishop]

4:33 At orphanages and public schools:

"What's for lunch?"
"Liver and onions, with sides of onion rings and onion soup."
"Again‽"

[sirswagger]

Teacher: "why are you laughing?"
My brain: Paul -Bunyan- Bonion

[JohnFoley]

Typical politician move: make the extremely specific thing that just happened illegal to placate one specific lobby rather than addressing the root cause of it.

[skeleskele]

government:
Ban onion futures > prevent an individual from controlling a market

[mjbgames]

“Why Trading Onions On The Financial Market Is Illegal”
Because It Made The Investors Cry...

[AverytheCubanAmerican]

Don’t forget Funyons, the onion snack found in every bodega
Also that thumbnail is a masterpiece

[jacobross]

“And his wife calls him cuddlebuns, but that’s only in private”
To know this I believe Sam is his wife because if they never say that in public how could he know such valuable information

[pawelodziomek]

Welcome to the gang kid!

"We got Stealing Steve, Murdering Mike, and Crimes Johnson"

"w-what did Crimes Johnson do?"

"he traded onions on the stock market"

[mrmimeisfunny]

3:06 I hate how I immediately recognized that number as the root of all evil (square root of 666)

[AnishKumar-esxr]

-"Total onion domination"- "Total Domi-onion"

[dydlus]

I swear to God, i had an economics test in October of 2020 where one of the tasks was "Determine the price and supply that leads to economic equilibrium on the onion market". Then again, one of the possible answers for "A monopoly is a market in which..." was "...old people are given things for free", so maybe it's just a coincedence.