Why men get JEALOUS of their WOMEN'S PAST: the threat to romantic love

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Hardly a week goes by without me talking to a man about his jealousy with respect to his woman's sexual history. These men know that their reaction is "irrational" -- there is no current threat to the relationship, and the behavior in question usually occurred before they even knew the women -- but the feelings they experience are real and painful, nonetheless. In this episode, I explain why this phenomenon occurs, and where the threat actually lurks. Be sure to watch to the end.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#relationship #jealousy #women

[albertwesker]

I don't think it's jealousy as much as it is frustration that you had to work much harder for something another guy got basically for free. Many guys are bothered by the fact that they had to invest a great deal of effort to get into a relationship with a girl qnd later finding out that several other guys slept with her with little or no effort.

Most guys have had the experience of dating a woman for weeks or months before becoming intimate, then later finding out there were guys she hooked up with immediately. It makes you realize you are the nice guy sucker who she made wait.

[ChosenPlaysYT]

Men care about a woman’s past. Women care about a man’s future. Just how it’s always been.

[aeganratheesh]

I think "disgust" is the word you're looking for, not jealousy

[roxanne]

For women who don't understand this, the female equivalent of this is finding out that he treated his last girl better - taking her on vacations, spending more money on her, taking her out etc. and him not doing any of that for you. It's frustration and also a feeling of being lied to. Man or woman, if you find out they gave more to their last partner, just leave - they don't really like you.

[CarlosRamirez-nojs]

Ex wife was promiscuous . I was too in love to realize the problems it came with . She had male friends at work, and loved male attention . Slept with a guy in her friend group and allowed me to be friends with the guy but hated me actually liking him and hanging out on our own time. 2 years after our divorce i found out about them sleeping together as teenagers( we got together at 21) I was soooo disgusted by how he was at my wedding and she was going to take that lie to the grave. She tried meeting me in person I said no way. I actually hate her now for how much she accused me that I don’t even want to date anymore

[remyllebeau]

It's not jealousy, it is disgust. And the knowledge that we will constantly be compared to the men in their past. Is anyone surprised that there is a strong correlation with women's high body count and the failure of their relationships and marriage?

[jonathanpenduka]

This is the biggest reason why women ask where all the good man have gone .. they are looking past you thanks to your past

[nichtgestalt]

"She's not special. She might be special to you! This specialness may only exist in your own mind!" - A bitter pill to swallow indeed. But thank you for this clarification. It was very needed...

[stevenbrashear]

It's about accepting reality and not putting them on pedestals in the first place.

[migueld]

A woman’s past says everything about a woman’s decision making skills. And if she has poor decision making skills it will most likely lead to a life of misery or destruction for any man that shares his life with her

[vaggs]

To sum up the entire video "She's not yours, it's just your turn".
This is even more evident for women that monkey branch, both my exes did the same thing.

[janco]

Her past is super important, you want to basically find out what her mating strategy is, quantity over quality or quality over quantity. If you are quality and she is a quantity type woman, you are losing big time.

[peteranon]

Naw, I just don't want to pay full price when other people get things for free.

[karniskavva]

I didnt get much from the video but the comment section was gold!

[RobertMorgan]

Jealousy implies you WANT her past for yourself. Not sure many men are looking to get banged by a bunch of guys.
DISGUST is the reaction here. Entirely different. It's hard to be jealous when YOU have the prize. A winner can't be jealous of themselves!
But if the prize turns out to be spoiled, to not be the prize you expected and EXPECTATIONS are subverted, there's disgust and resentment.

[theanabolicviking]

My problem wasn't necessarily her past as it was that she would bring up her past in an almost nostalgic way. I just wanted her to talk about our future rather than her past of poor choices. If we're talking marriage, then I want someone that looks to the future rather than backward. So I told her to hit the road.

[ez_mike]

I broke up with my first gf for this. I was totally insecure and knew it at the time, but I just couldn’t deal with it. We went out to breakfast in her home town and the waiter just had this look on his face and I was like damn…him too 😞

I could be with a woman who had a promiscuous past but I wouldn’t be 100% faithful to her. And for all the women who think men will never know…trust me, we’ll know. It’s like a drug addict who’s been clean but you can tell they’ve been out there. Even if you manage not to spill the beans, there’s a certain energy that men can just pick up on. Watch how you move when you’re young and that goes for men and women.

[adrianbunea]

Yep, men can't help but idealize the woman they are dating seriously, they put up an innocent, pure, distinguished image but that image gets shattered when you realize she's been tossed around by another guy, or some other guys, or a lot of other guys. Quite frankly, a friendship in your younger years has no reason not to blossom into a serious relationship, but the alphas wanna fuck around, and the women ignore the average guys and chase the alphas and get used by them. Then a few years down the line, they wisen up and decide average guys who bring stability are the way to go, but it is way too late, all that is left are leftovers from a few top men, and you're an incel if you don't like it.

[josephs]

1. Nobody likes to pay for what others got easy and for free.
2. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

[mountainman]

It's not jealousy, it's disgust.