Your Future Self Will Thank You

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When you're angry, don't send texts!
It never goes well. Here is some old-school wisdom for modern times. It's called "restraint of pen and tongue." It means to write things or say things in the heat of the moment. If it's important, it can wait.
Your future self thanks you.

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I've got lots of info and links for you below. But first, PLEASE READ:

I am not a therapist or physician. My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in-person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client physician or quasi-physician relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.

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[Helovedthemtilltheend]

If you do promise to “come back” to a conversation. Make sure you do it. It’s very painful to wait on people to circle back only to find that they have resolved it in their minds and never bothered to bring it back to you.

[wendypeters]

100% agree about not talking or especially texting when dysregulated. I've had bully-types in my life who hypothetically would not respect a gentle 15-minute request to raincheck...almost like they *want* to see me dysregulated. I find it helpful to remember that boundaries are about controlling ourselves, not about controlling others or the situation.

[RebHep]

I'm a therapist and I always advise people to write down how they feel while on their own, getting as much of it out as possible and them rip it up, never share it with the other person. This is better as a method for resolving relational trauma they can't work through with the other person, like a parent who isn't mature or emotionally open to talk it through without causing more damage

[stacyjaye]

Ummm... yeah. Someone came back in my life after years, and lied and hurt me all over again. I fired off such angry texts, I had to see a criminal defense attorney! Turns out I didn't say anything illegal, but that was my life lesson forever more!! DON'T DO IT!! I'm still living with the shame.😢

[WhenWordsFailMe]

Difficult to master, but you can improve catching yourself over time.

[Tally-vision]

Sometimes anger gives me the impetus to write an email I've been procrastinating sending.

[pete]

So hard to break this habit, but the first time I did it, it was so rewarding. I can't say today that I am perfect at it, but I understand what to do and I know that I can do it. I just have to watch how stressed out I get. If I let the stress get out of control then I go back to oid defaults.

[buonavitae]

Too late... I regret it almost daily, yet, I also feel at peace beacuse it was the only way I could make myself be heard and tell my side of the story.

[sarahjmount]

Great advice, Anna. Thank you. It’s also helpful to journal or write letters and tear them up if you need to write to get the anger out and vent (or to do your practice).

[Rootedinunwaveringlove]

I use the wisdom of silence when I'm emotionally flooded. I tell people when I'm emotionally flooded and that I need to self regulate before continuing a conversation.

[janemarlo]

Yep... true... have done this a few times. But I've learned and make myself WAIT!

[Ivanshita]

You are very KIND to share this information for Free. Thank you❤

[LaceyLynneAnna]

Thank you for this. I watched your video last night pertaining to not isolating, and healing trauma wounds. You’ve helped a lot when my emdr therapist, and regular counselor weren’t available to me. Thanks for your content.

[infinityreaper]

the only time i get angry and write stuff is reviews, and i don't think there's any coming back once i get it in my head someone needs a bad review. at that point the review isn't for the person who caused it, it's for potential future customers.

[JJLom]

That is true.
But, if it's among a family dynamic that feeds on the stuff, it's better to just, politely, go away.
Tis the season, after all.
Stay well, folk,
JJ

[kellyschroeder]

A late lesson for me. Thank you God for showing me 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[hillarybelnap]

Your more than a fairy, your an angel. In all realness, you have helped me, which in tirn helps my daughter❤

[bondjane]

Well it might be OK for the person to write down their emotions and their thoughts when they’re angry to themselves so they can look back and see how they were thinking. I agree it’s not a good idea to vent in a state of anger and rage to the other person that you’re having the conversation or situation with.
I guess it’s the old count to 10 or take a walk around the block to cool down and then come back when you have your faculties gather together. Because I guess the conversation is meant to communicate to the other person and vice versa. So yeah let the kettles steam cool down, Just a bit before you go forward with the conversation if you want some productive constructive results

[carladirden]

If you are angry and after you ask for the 15 minutes, go off by yourself and do some tapping. Tapping will get the fire out and release the anger and give you a better perspective which will result in a better response. Use tapping.

[caroleminke]

Respond don’t react by breathing & counting till your overwhelming emotion can vent itself internally as you acknowledge how you feel 😉