Why We Behave As We Do

A key principle governing the natural world is that animals adapt to thrive in particular habitats; what we call an animal’s character is essentially a set of traits that gives it maximal opportunity to flourish in specific circumstances. We humans are - in the end, beneath a layer of civilisation - not so different.

FURTHER READING

“A key principle governing the natural world is that animals adapt to thrive in particular habitats; what we call an animal’s character is essentially a set of traits that gives it maximal opportunity to flourish in specific circumstances. The owl is - for example - furtive and nocturnal to help it succeed in crowded habitats with heavy pressures on food supplies. Stick insects are docile and skilled at disappearing into a background of twigs and branches to help them avoid the attention of rodents and spiders. And African wild dogs are collaborative and respectful of hierarchies to lend them the very best chances of cornering impalas and springboks..”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Jesse Collett

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Graeme Probert

[jm]

The mere act of questioning the motivations behind people’s behavior with genuine curiosity and empathy is pretty rare, so I appreciate this video for encouraging that

[brianwade]

It seems that we all have this "programming" deep in our brains. It is powerful to be aware of this and to know how to avoid being controlled by it.

[chronophobic]

There's a chinese idiom that says: "江山易改，本性难移“ it's easy to change your behaviour, but hard to change your nature.

I believe in what we've experienced will hone our perspective on how we react, by react differently doesn't change our initial perspective, even after a duration of time.

[NinkComPoop]

It helps for me to regularly sit with my personal intentions and goals for the year ahead, and being self-observant enough to compassionately notice where we are "getting in the way" of living in that desired reality. That way, when a situation comes about which is basically triggering your learnt survival mechanism, you can choose to be your "favourite self" as opposed to auto-pilot self. Start with one coping mechanism that you've noticed is a pattern in your life and gradually prove the programming wrong. Aka, basically start working in the opposite direction of it. In tiny ways. For example... If your response is usually to make yourself small when around potential threat as this video mentioned, how can you do something today that demonstrates to your system that you're operating differently? The opposite is making yourself big and heard. For example, laugh loudly with a friend, hold a bolder posture, sing and dance in the mirror to your favourite song, second think NOT sharing your opinion during a group discussion, tell somebody a fact about yourself that not many know, ask a stranger for directions, help a stranger with directions, etc. That way you're inviting it into your life in easy and less invasive ways, making you identity with it differently. It can take years though!

[lawaleto]

I've been coming back to Alain’s teachings for 8 years now. I must confess that this has become one of my primary sources of emotional learning in addition to Dr Esther Perel and Dr John and Dr Judy Gottman’s teachings.

[BenyaminLorit]

I haven't started the video yet but I bet it has something to do about our parents and our childhood again. Lol

[_wreckage]

I have not been feeling mentally good lately; but these videos from The School Of Life keeps me going!

[Kilospan]

While this is true it should be said that as an adult you are responsible for your own behavior. The meaning of why you act a certain way does not matter if you are hurting or bringing others down. That said I do think we would do better as a society if we would fix the underlying issues instead of always putting a bandage on the festering wounds.

[Bearlugs]

Love this because it makes so much sense. We see adults acting like 5 year olds every day when faced with difficult circumstances.
Loved the animated characters.😊

[Sakeenster]

This partially is true, but how a persons brain works accounts for their reactions a lot too. A set of twins raised can have completely different personalities and reactions. Most siblings have different ways they deal with things too. I feel like many people can grow up in the same kind of abusive household and all have different ways of growing into an adult. Some will become abusers themselves and others will strive to never have abuse in their life ever again, you know?

[thebesttheworst]

*Essentially what we learned to survive in our childhood environment, may no longer be serving us well.*

Time for us all to take stock and discard traits we no longer need that may be hurting us overall.

[DuckTheQuack_]

This episode hits me very hard, because I have 20 years now and still needs to adapt to the persons in my home, but I have a life too that doesn’t need my constant vigilance of the people around me. It’s a duality that I have to fight everyday and remind myself that the existence out there is much pleasurable 💛

[davidwanc]

Such an eye-opening point of view. I have to work with people I have a great disdain for as I find they lack the quality of "mindfulness" and would not think twice about inconveniencing me with their various workplace eccentricities like not using headphones to listen to music or slamming their bottles on their tables instead of gently placing them down to minimize noise. I've always believed that the sins of fathers will be borne by their children but I've never really thought to apply it to people's actions. The actions or inactions of our "fathers" sinful or not have gone on to mold our current behaviors. I just wish more people had enough self awareness to conduct a thorough introspection of themselves and how their conduct affects those around them. But that is just wishful thinking.

[sbgtrev]

Fascinating and yet so common sensical too

[AA-wctw]

Some people behave SO terribly...I see how some people act in public or treat their "loved ones" in public, and I can imagine how much worse it is behind closed REFUSE to be known as someone who behaves poorly or treats others poorly. I'm sorry most of us had shyte examples for mature adult behavior when we were kids (me included), but most of us have the capacity to be self-aware and change our behavior for the better. Many people need to somehow be made aware that they need to think beyond their noses once in a

[TheKrispyfort]

I remember trying to explain this idea to other kids at highschool in the mid-90s when they'd complain about the behaviour of another kid.

"Meet his mum and you understand why he's f'd up"

😢

[SpaceLion]

That's why The Reggio Emilia method is so vital at early stage of toddlers and children development. The environment is really the 3rd greatest teacher.

[brianedwards]

A little over a year ago I adopted a 19 month old kelpie crossed with staffy who was bought to the pound after living on the street. I found a few less than ideal traits and it took a LONG time for her and the cats to make peace but she was motivated from the start to respond to training and I have found her very plastic. She's like a different dog now but I should point out I am home all day so we are rarely more than 20 feet apart.

[lovedaisy_]

Beautiful, insightful and wise piece of message again. Thank you The School of Life.

[Miracletobehere]

Long days and sad nights, Things that makes us cry,
Although some parts in us are broken but it's never too late to try.

Being in situations where I was ignored by my own,
I got to know that I am always alone,
It's absolutely a rare view that in a world full of people and everybody seems joyful but the fact is we all are alone.
I wish good luck and hapiness to everyone . The darkness will fade away and a bright day will come. You just need to have faith. ❤❤❤