Defunctland: The History of Cedar Point's Disaster Transport

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We take our first trip to Cedar Point to discuss the extinct, indoor roller coaster Disaster Transport.

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[Defunctland]

Hey Defunctland Community! I hope you enjoyed this episode. Check back this week for the full version of the end credits song. Have a great day!

[rcbif]

You missed the most important piece of its "success" - many people only went on it for the air-condition line to escape the heat.

[adambezark]

Wow! This is amazing. I actually worked on Disaster Transport. My friends at ITEC (pronounced like "Hi Tech, " not "I-T-E-C") designed the attraction, and hired me to write the pre-show for that poor robot, Dave. I wish I had a copy of the script somewhere. I never got to see the attraction running, but I did visit Cedar Point in 2013 or 2014 to consult on another project. When I met Matt Ouimet, I told him I'd written Disaster Transport. He laughed and said, "Oh, YOU'RE the guy!" 
This is the first footage I've ever seen of the ride. Thanks for the history lesson... and the memories!

[coreyh]

It was the only air-conditioned ride, and the whole "what the hell is going on?" vibe is what was great about it.

[AlexanderTheDecent]

As a child I always thought the “welcome to Alaska” was a play on how it was the only air conditioned ride in the park, and how upon leaving you’d be greeted by the heat from outside

[jabscha]

Riding this in the 2000s when it was run down and some of the effects/story was removed actually made it a more mysterious experience which I kinda liked. It was like you snuck into a now defunct transport company that befell some unknown horror. Or maybe that was just my young imagination filling in the obvious gaps in storytelling...

[AntiNihilist]

The best part of disaster transport is that it was one of the only casual, comfortable rides in the whole park. Aka it was slow and indoors.

[detroitboy]

I worked at Cedar point in 89-90 and my special merchandise warehouse was right next to Disaster Transport. I knew all of the girls who worked the ride and rode it in the days preceding its official opening. It was full of all sorts of glowing tech and colored lights filtering through smoke. It was not long at all before the tech started breaking down. Cedar Point had no history with animatronics and Dave farted out within a month of opening. The one day that stands crystal-clear in my mind is seeing my friends coming out of the ride in shock and covered in blood. As it happened 1 of the suspended moons had fallen onto the track and when a car hit it it was catapulted over the heads of most of the riders. It skimmed the heads of the people in the 2nd to last seats and demolished the back seat (fortunately empty). 2 people were severely injured and had to medivaced to the hospital. My good friend was absolutely devastated by the sight and suffered from nightmares for several months after. Disaster Transport indeed.

[gregsemon]

In the early years of the ride, the story and ride special effects were MUCH more elaborate. The story was that you were about to take a trip to Alaska with this company called Dispatch Master Transport. The first room was meant to feel like an airport, with posters of destinations the company travelled to. In the first year or two of the ride, an employee would get up on the podium and welcome you to your flight and announce that we were about to begin boarding through the (fake) doors behind her. When she hit the button, smoke would come out of the podium, beginning to give you the impression that this was a (really) second rate operation. This extra spiel quickly disappeared as the line never backed up into this first room. You were then instructed to take the detour through the control room. Originally it was a very large room and the handprints weren't added until many years later. Above you was Dave, the mission control robot who would be communicating with Dispatch Master Transports pilots all over the world via a video monitor. It was actually a very funny although low-budget video and I recall one of the pilots crashing in the jungle. Your detour then continued through the Repair Bay which was supervised by a robot Foreman (can't remember his name). The foreman was in the center of the room and looked like a giant pair of binoculars. He actually had a lot of banter back and forth with the animatronic robots repairing the vehicle (who didn't speak but made sounds). Above you were spare parts in moving baskets and the camera you mentioned was supposed to be scanning the parts and all of them are "rejects" hence why they were in the repair bay. The generator device was added years later probably after the robot stopped functioning. Your detour then ended and you went up the stairs to the loading platform. There was another humerous "safety" video playing on video monitors as you ascended.

As far as the ride, the inflight computer did not have a name, just "inflight computer." His greeting before the lift hill was "Welcome aboard, I'm your inflight computer. I have been programmed to take you to the Voltair(?) Receiving Station. Standby the cargo loading door....cargo loaded." The effects in the lift hill used to be pretty spectacular. There was a "light tunnel" effect (think the Viking eye from Maelstrom lift hill). Once you reached the top (cardboard) space pirates attacked the ship and the computer began taking evasive maneuvers. After the first set of brakes there was a large projection of an exploding asteroid. After the next brake was the infamous "I'm losing control" as the vehicle picked up speed, but then you would see a large projection of Alaska along the left wall. You then "landed" in Alaska and exited the ride. Of note, at the exit they had placed white gravel throughout to give the impression of being in snowy Alaska!

This is my recollection of the early years of Disaster Transport...it really was a neat ride. Obviously, with every year, more and more effects broke and were forgotten about or never repaired. At the end its appearance was very sad and it really needed to go.

[mickeymouse]

You have to admit though that Gatekeeper is an absolutely gorgeous addition to the park entrance. Watching it fly over you as you pass through the entrance is amazing.

[wavewingman]

This ride actually has a really important place in my heart. When I went as a kid, I tried to remember what the ride was called afterwards, and my family and I disagreed on what it was. I was dead convinced that it had been called Master Disaster, and wouldn't be shaken on it. Now, years later, I understand why I got the name wrong! I must have seen "Dispatch Master Transport" and gotten it mixed up with the real name! So I feel like I just solved a years-old mystery, thanks to you!

[VaqueroCoyote]

This just proves Anakin right about sand.
It's course, rough, and irratting, and it gets everywhere.

[ainsley]

My mom was one of the original staff members that staffed this ride. She loved this episode and freaked out when I showed her this!

[ashergreymond]

I got to ride this when I was 11 or so (around 1991 or 1992), and I think I remember the (convoluted) story for this ride.

If memory serves, the transport company was already an established cargo shipping group, which wanted to use the technology to expand into passenger travel, and you as the rider were one of the first flights, to Alaska (That is used to explain away the industrial/warehouse look of everything). During the queue, you learn from the posters, and eventually Dave, about the plans to offer multiple destinations, and they explain that Alaska was picked as they already had an established shipping route. In the Repair Bay, you can see them "retrofitting" a sled (when the animatronics worked) from cargo to passenger use. Dave was kind of fun to listen to back then, as he would talk up that this test flight will be a huge success, and that there is nothing to worry about. At the end of his spiel, he kind of glitches out, trying to say "we thank you for riding with us on Dispatch Master Transport", and says the name of the ride instead, repeating it in a Max Headroom stutter.

Dave (or the remote pilot, I don't remember if they are the same person), loses control, and the ship breaks out of Earth's atmosphere, and careens around the solar system, with the events depicted during the ride. Toward the latter part of the ride, they "regain control" and you are safely delivered to Alaska.

It was a fascinating ride at that younger age in it's heyday. But I hope this helps!

[theoneandonlyhaley]

This was actually one of my favorite rides at Cedar Point before it closed. Maybe it's just because I was young, but I really loved that it had this air of mystery about it. Between the lack of plot, hidden structure of the coaster, and very dark interior of the ride, there was a strong feeling of not knowing what's going to be beyond the next twist or turn.
Coupled with the fact that it was the only real indoor coaster there and it was gentle enough to enjoy the visuals, it was a great ride when you were in a large group that included a few fussy folks who didn't like big coasters.

[belltoller]

I remember riding Avalanche one year and coming back and Disaster Transport being there the next. When we rode it I thought it was one of the coolest things ever, had so many moving stuff and the narrative while you waited for the ride made it exciting. Being from Michigan, CP was like a pilgrimage every year, so every year we went back and rode the coaster. Slowly we watched it degrade, each time something else wasn't working and I remember one of the last times when it was just a black indoor slightly fast literal dark ride. Right before its closure we went with friends all of us being in our early 20's and had to try and explain to them what it was like when it opened from a 9 year old's perspective. But I can still remember its first year and how much I loved it and that nostalgia kept the reality of Disaster Transport from infringing on my brother's and my joy.

[tamsenboaz]

When the girl said "WELCOME TO ALASKA!!" I lost my shit

[Pixel-dan]

I love learning about rides I've never heard of!

Also, that song at the end was rad!

[RudyRedTop]

Native Ohioan here. I started being tall enough to ride coasters in the early to mid 2000's. Disaster Transport was one of the first "coasters" I was able to ride because of it's relatively short height requirement. By the time I could ride it, a lot of the theming you described was gone. Most of what you described in the Repair Bay was still there. But from what I do recall having rode it at least a dozen times, it always struck me as a "the earth is under attack and we're escaping via this transport thing". This is based on the fact that there were posters and graphics in the queue that depicted major US cities being attacked by giant monsters like a massive praying mantis. So the ride itself wasn't anything too crazy but the theming leading up to the ride and the sculptures, lights, effects, and the fact that a large part of the ride was pitch dark, actually made it quite exciting. I have fond memories of this massive pile of bad ideas lol.

[lucere]

The idea of a bobsled coaster as a space ship in the dark is quite genius and I hope it will be done again, but better..