The science behind dramatically better conversations | Charles Duhigg | TEDxManchester

In a world of increasing complexity but decreasing free time, the role of the trusted ‘explainer’ has never been more important. Charles Duhigg is a literal prizewinner in the field and won the Pulitzer Prize for Explanatory Reporting for his team’s series of articles in the New York Times explaining the (not always wonderful) impact of Apple and big tech on the global economy. He’s also the author of the massive bestseller, The Power of Habit.

Charles joined us in Manchester to discuss his latest research and book on Supercommunicators which strikes us as the perfect ‘meta’ topic for a TEDx event. We can all appreciate the incredible power of communication. But while we’re all trying to communicate, some of us clearly do it better than others. Why?

According to Charles’ latest work, supercommunicators understand that whenever we speak, we’re actually participating in one of three conversations: practical (What’s this really about?), emotional (How do we feel?), and social (Who are we?). If you don’t know what kind of conversation you’re having, you’re unlikely to connect. “Supercommunicators” know the importance of recognizing—and then matching—each kind of conversation and how to hear the complex emotions, subtle negotiations, and deeply held beliefs that color so much of what we say and how we listen. He says that our experiences, our values, our emotional lives—and how we see ourselves and others—shape every discussion, from who will pick up the kids to how we want to be treated at work. Learn why some people are able to make themselves heard, and to hear others, so clearly. Charles Duhigg is a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporter and the author of the international bestsellers The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. His works have been translated into over 45 languages. He is a former journalist for the Los Angeles Times and New York Times and currently writes for The New Yorker magazine.

[caiogirao]

When was the last time you cried in front of someone? The last time I cried in front of someone was two weeks ago, in front of my wife. I had a terrible day of depression. Everything seemed so messed up. I've been unemployed for five months now, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I feel useless, I don't have a clue about my purpose. I keep going, though. I do art, I write, I act, I'm studying, doing interviews for new roles. But that day I felt so distant from everything, from everyone. We never really win against depression or anxiety; it's a never-ending battle. But I'm happy to say that even if most of the time is filled with desperation, the short, wonderful times of love, enlightenment, and care are the best times and make it worthwhile.

[Muhammadsanaulmustafaqadri]

Moral of the story: try to connect emotionally by asking deep questions.

[laborinque]

I love this!
Yesterday, I realized I was having conversations with my daughter that were not promising for us to have more.
How wonderful I allow myself to listen to this one!
Thank you, Charles Duhigg!

[Yuusou.]

This whole concept is the watered-down version of the four sides model by Friedemann Schulz von Thun and the Socratic Method by Aristotle (although inspired by Socrates) when it comes to asking the questions. Combining those two concepts, you get the same output presented in this TED talk.

[jakebryancortez]

In family medicine, we call these deep questions: active listening CEA (catharsis-education-action) counseling 🤗

[adr]

"who want to really answer that question?"

done and the guy actually answer the question emotionally

[cocofanta]

Read his book super communicators now watching him talk about some topics makes it even more clear

[suesholin]

If you are looking for the actual point it is at 4:46. His examples do not support the title. Most people would find it rude if a stranger started drilling them the way he suggests.

[chuckheppner]

"Time is the backdrop of our lives and the very fabric of the cosmos. Depending on whom you ask, time is money, time is love, time is work, time is play, time is enjoying friends, time is raising children, and time is much more. Time is what you make of it.

The greatest gift that you can give to others and to yourself is time. Embrace the gift of time whether you give it or receive it.

Our time is brief, and it will pass no matter what we do. So let us have purpose in spending it. Let us spend it so that our time matters to each of us, and matters to all those whose lives we touch."

Philip Zimbardo

[SabrinaWilson-bk]

You explain even the most difficult topics so clearly.

[rajaafezza]

I really enjoyed this conference it’s just insaaaane thank you so muuuch ❤

[LaReinaHealsHearts]

This is facts though, I straight up asked a guy at work that I barley talked to “are you happy” and we went on taking for the rest of the day

[SabinKarki-ti]

The best this that he doesn't use any filler word that incredible 😮

[isatousarr]

Dramatically better conversations are grounded in neuroscience, where active listening, empathy, and strategic use of language stimulate the brain’s reward centers, creating a sense of connection and trust. Understanding the science of conversation means recognizing how tone, body language, and word choice influence not just how we are understood, but how we make others feel leading to more meaningful and productive exchanges. How can we leverage insights from neuroscience and psychology to consistently foster deeper, more impactful conversations, especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged situations?

[gstreetboi]

Imagine going up to a strager asking the question and then saying do you want me to listen empathize or give you a hug ? Lool

[itsatrmorina]

These guys are making a very good job 👏 well done

[baishimin]

Moral of the story (v2): ask deep questions to connect emotionally

[rajeshenghi]

I am going to ask Deep questions to people from now on❤❤

[jennifersmith]

There is no vulnerability without psychological safety and a balance of power. It could have negative consequences to attempt this experiment if those conditions are not first present.

[sarfrazmdp]

Mark my words !! This video will hit 1 Million Views very soon 🔥