Is it Healthy to Validate ALL Her Feelings???

[kaoryakasaka]

"Feelings aren't facts. When they're anyone's but mine"

[RatetheDebate]

If emotions are a byproduct of perception, it is pointless to argue about their feelings. If you think their feelings are wrong, find out what thoughts they are having behind those feelings and go from there.

[carolannelawry]

Validating feelings is not accepting blame. It’s getting closer in order to gain understanding. Ok Got it.

[Zetos]

I've come to realize validation should never mean you have to sacrifice yourself. Seek to understand, seek to help, but don't forget yourself in the process.

[sarahtaavetti]

I had a friend whose feeling weren‘t … let‘s say based in reality. She came at me with random accussations like „you clearly think XY about me because your eyes twitched a certain way ( or some other weird „sign“ that clearly has a specific meaning)“. I tried really hard to validate her feelings and see why she would think that way and softly explain the misunderstanding. I thought we were having a open and healthy discussion. Turns out she took my empathy for confirmation. When I tried to tell her that I feel hurt when she constantly jumps to conclusions like that and I don’t feel like she ever gives me the benefit of the doubt or validates my point of view…. she told me that I am delulu, my feelings are not based in reality and maybe I should talk to someone… 😂
I don‘t think I ever felt so gaslighted in my life.

[Musicianphilosopher]

There’s a difference between a healthy way to share your feelings and an unhealthy toxic abusive way to express your feelings, but if the person doesn’t care to express it in a healthy way, that’s a huge factor because that’s a problem in itself that must be worked on. Feelings can’t be used as a license to say or act like anything. Some people can misconstrue it in their minds to mean that.

[UltraGalacticSuperFantastic]

Because of this video alone, I started a relationship advice playlist for myself. This is something I need to remember when I interact with people, but also one I can share with other people too. I've never been able to explain this by myself

[pinapplehead]

This is such an important distinction to make when trying to establish healthy communication! You nailed it

[yugoxgc]

Validation doesn't mean subservience.
It means LISTENING 1st & foremost & adressing the problems brought up by your partner.
So if a partner accuses you of something ( or sounds like they do)
1st, ask if you understood them properly by saying how YOU understood what they said & follow up by asking Why THEY feel/think that way.
You will learn A LOT about your relationship that you were clueless about with just this

[laurayarbrough]

You hit the nail on the head. We aren’t the judge of whether or not someone is allowed to feel something.

[anamazing]

My first thought whenever feelings are dismissed as "not real", I'm reminded that there _are_ real chemical reactions going on -- that we feel.

[tksdreampop]

Used to get these videos on my feed at the end of my last relationship. Was a big part in making me realise I was fighting for a lost cause. Relationship ended and I stopped getting these videos. We’ve started seeing each other again, and just like the anxiety and the uneasiness returned, so did the videos. The algorithm terrifies me

[toi]

Feelings are true, even though the thoughts or beliefs that caused those feelings may not be

[PaDonna]

I heard, understood and then chose to validatet what Jimmy just said as his subjective perception, interpretation and reality regarding the topic at hand.

I then gave myself time to think about everything he said.

As a result I first started to understand, then accept and finally even share is perspective and feelings on this.

As a result the things he said didn't make me feel attacked or treated unfairly anymore.
Instead I now felt invited to together explore my own perception and use the sum of both of our parts as a recource to find solutions that lead to more contendness and satisfaction.

Thank you Jimmy!

[alirak]

Validating an emotion is exactly that. You acknowledge that a person is feeling the way they do, without trying to override them. It's not about right or wrong it's either you believe them or not. If you can't even believe what your partner is telling you, why are you with them? They won't tell you anything, important or not, after a while... Discussing WHY they are feeling it is another issue. Or how they are expressing it.

[KarenT-khsy]

Exactly, no one can tell you that you're wrong when it comes to your feelings. They belong to you, and they are a reality to you. You may disagree with how things are dealt with and many other things but not my (your) feelings, nor can I tell a partner that their feelings aren't correct.

[stoneyvowell]

I like that explanation. That goes along with anybody's Mental Health situation, they feel it. Therefore, it is their reality! You are just acknowledging how they feel, not that they're blaming or accusation has any validity / accountability for you. If they want to argue, then maybe the situation has more to do with them wanting to argue than what the argument is about. That might be the time to go get some evaluations, so you actually know what you're dealing with.

[letticiagonzales]

Jimmy, i just want you to know that i'm so glad i came across your videos when i did.. they helped keep me grounded during and eventually helped me leave a relationship that tried to break me entirely. your small glimmer of hope and reason helped me hold onto my sense of self.. thank you 🙏🏽💜.

[alanasaviano]

Except when they see it as agreeing and you can't convince them, and in turn, they use it as a way to always say they don't agree with any facts and label things all as feelings

[julievdw]

Wow Jimmy. Another absolutely brilliant, insightful and succinct skit. Thank you.