How to Give Advice: Top 3 Rules

This video gives you the three most important rules to follow when giving advice.

I have a close friend who is going through a difficult time.
He called me up to talk about his troubles. I listened for a (short) while, then I gave him some advice.That didn't turn out so well. He got upset at me.

So it got me thinking---what are the keys to giving good advice?
When should we give it? How should we give it?

I just made a video about this topic.
In it you will learn my 3 Golden Rules for giving advice.

And, as a special bonus, you'll learn 4 reasons why you might want to think twice before the next time you're tempted to give advice.

You should watch the video if you want to:
---Avoid harming your friendships by giving unwanted or unwelcome advice.
---​Know 2 critical questions to ask before you give advice.
---Figure out when to give advice and when to just listen.

[hammerbeam]

Tip 3: Ask them what they think first.
Tip 2: Always ask permission before giving advice
Tip 1: Don’t give advice? Just listen, comfort and empathize

Reasons to not give advice
1: We often don’t have the full picture
2: Don’t be a hypocrite.
3: People don’t really want your advice, they want someone to listen to you.
4: People don’t take advice. Usually people want validation for the choices they already made.

[regeneratedmind]

Thanks for advising us not to give ADVICE! You just gave us some pieces of ADVICE.... lol 😂

[Pogohontas.]

Wow, this is golden. I want to help as many people as I can, but being so naive, this has resulted in me interjecting my opinions where they don't belong, potentially even hurting the person. In fact, I just came from a conversation in which I broke all 3 rules in one fell swoop!

I will certainly be focusing more exclusively on my own life from now on, and only giving advice or help when it has been proactively sought after, or when it's absolutely necessary. Thank you

[LittleMissSunshine]

I’ve found myself here because I feel like I’m in a weird space of people telling me their business (unsolicited), and me feeling like they want or need a solution. I’m learning to just listen and to listen without judgement. It’s frustrating because I want to help, but I’m learning that it not really helping. 😅🤷🏽‍♀️🙃

[vibesmom]

I understand this but it’s so hard for me because I love advice. I love hearing different methods of solving issues and it almost never bothers me. But I have to stop myself because everyone isn’t like that.

[bitsalt]

"Look how messed up your own life is!" I get it, I agree...to a point. We have all messed up at some point (if you think you haven't, you might have an issue with reality and/or lying). But I also think those who have made their mistakes *and* learned from them have some of the most valuable advice to share. Some cultures once valued the wisdom of the elders--the ones who had already "been there, done that." We don't seem to do that anymore. Perhaps wisdom is just a rare treasure that is seldom found now.

[suzannecordovamartinez]

Absolutely, not giving advice is the best one. Many times I have shared my difficulties with friends and they go into "I know what to do mode, and you don't." Many times I just needed to air and have someone listen. Some problems don't have a solution and just being there is enough. I think asking someone if they want advice is key too.

[marcoglara]

Counterintuitively, even though you’re number one piece advice is to not give advice, I really appreciate your advice.

[arammansouri]

This is probably the best video i have ever seen about communication. Thank you sir!

[yerdogru]

I came upon this video looking for material for my language class, but ended up getting my own lesson. How humbling! Thank you for clearing this issue up for me.

[Treblady]

I told my coworker her work technique is not effective and she might be making some mistakes, then i pointed out a mistake. That was last week and I haven’t seen her since. Not that I’m the reason, but my other coworkers later pointed out to me that I gave out unsolicited advice and probably made her uncomfortable. It was paradoxically great advice. Now I’m watching this content and completely agreeing with how giving advice is to be avoided unless specifically asked for. It definitely applies even if I have some authority over best practices at a work place.

[leila]

I love it.... i was looking for an advice on how to give advice and then I came across your video... informative and funny... I used to feel that it’s my duty to give advice... it will be a hard habit to get over but will start working on it ... Thank you 🙏🏼

[Mustbe_ivan]

I’m thinking about starting a channel to give advice on so this is great help thanks

[shannonmcgill]

I watched this on December 31st, and I had been trying to figure out what my New Year's resolution should be. Now I know!

[sarahbarkerC]

Thank you SO much!!! I have had a bad habit for years about continuously giving advice and had no idea what to do! In my mind I was truly being helpful cause I had the best intentions, and just couldn't figure where down the line I kept going wrong lololol tip number one would have solved at least 76% of that hahaha! The other two tips will help me buffer until my habit of giving unsolicited advice can be mastered

[PascCl]

I watch a lot of these types of videos on all kinds of subjects on YouTube.
This is probably the best made video I've ever seen. Instantly subbed for the great content as well.
It's short and clear, to the point and has exactly what I wanted to know.
Great job sir!

[drhannahhamlin]

This is amazing. Your channel is really impactful. Thank you for making these. I’d love to see a video on your opinion of how to give advice as someone who is in a professional position. I’m a new doctor and working on learning how to talk to my patients in a more empowering way. I try my best to listen and ask them their thoughts. I’d love to learn how to deliver direct advice effectively and clearly.

[angelabeckman]

Thank you, I found that very useful. I'm trying to change to this behavior myself.

[agle]

I love to give and take advice from friends, it shows love and care in my opinion. It's not taken nicely when person speaks with entitlement and air of superiority otherwise I strongly believe in the benefits of mutual advice between well intended, experienced and wise people, it can help so much!

[patchweaver]

I'm bad at giving advice, and yet some people ask me to give advice. I sway them that I am bad at giving advice, thus I had to search a video and the end message is to not give advice. Thus I do not give advice.