Dr. Sadler's Chalk and Talk #1: Love at First Sight

This is number 1 of my "Chalk and Talk" series, in which I address at greater length interesting questions I receive on VYou, Facebook, Twitter, or by email. This one responds to: Is there such a thing as love at first sight, and soulmates?

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[GregoryBSadler]

I do believe that one can come to know much about the love between two other people -- sometimes even more than those two people themselves know about it. That said, to develop such a level of insight takes a lot of work, experience, drawing on the work of others as well.

I'd agree with you about making love into a "science". But, that's not what many philosophers, and even some psychologists are doing.

[GregoryBSadler]

I'll give it a look. There's an awful lot of theories of love out there, even just in psychology alone, let alone once we bring in Philosophy.

Some time back, I taught an Intro to Philosophy class themed around "What is Love". I'm thinking next Spring I might put together another one like that and video those lectures.

[GregoryBSadler]

I certainly think that it is possible to experience "love at first sight" -- in the romantic, erotic sense -- precisely through that sense, seeing -- though, yes, as you point out, why would it have to be just sight? Why not hearing, smell, touch?

There is -- on occasion, definitely not always -- an openness to the sense of sight through the face of the other, through the eyes in particular, but also through the postures and movement of the the body, the rhythm, tempo, and grace of movement.

[MrMarktrumble]

Love at first sight may be the projection of what I want on the other person. "First sight" means I do not know them. I would then love someone I do not know. If I do not know them, then what do I love? My expectations? What I am missing in myself? I think it is a kind of narcissism, which is corrected only in so far as the other person reveals themselves, often in gegenstanz to one's expectations! Thank you

[flamephlegm]

Coming from Psychology, Robert Sternberg has his Triangualr Theory of Love, which crystalizes this in an interesting way. It's pretty Googlable and Wikipedia actually has a decent article on it, but as always with Wiki, trust th source, not the article.