6 Lessons That Made Me a Better Mother

What does being a “good mother” look like?

Well, my attempts to be a “good mother” drove me to ridiculous lengths and even exhaustion.

Like baking chocolate chip cookies from scratch after I got home from a business trip at 11pm so my daughter wouldn’t be the only one to bring store-bought cookies for the next day’s bake sale.

Or the time I insisted on sewing Halloween costumes for all three girls instead of buying the perfectly good store-made ones.

Or when I rushed from my office to the school concert, sweating profusely as I slid into the back row with seconds to spare (think “Mission Impossible” style) only for my 8-year-old to tell me that night at home, “Mom, I don’t really care if you come to my concerts. They’re not a big deal. I care way more about my sports matches.”

Why all this “craziness”? Because…

1) Motherhood doesn’t come with an instruction manual
2) I believed this is what a “good mother” should do
3) And I was afraid of being judged by other parents

My approach to being a “good mother” was not sparking joy for me and probably not for my children either. I was driven by guilt, worry, and fear.

And all because society puts pressure on how you’re “supposed to be”.

In this week’s blog post, I share valuable lessons that helped me change my “crazy” ways and find a path to success.

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[Mylife-gzg]

People before tasks is a BIG one for me! Thanks for the reminder!!

[wahmomma]

Even if she didn’t make a big deal out of it, you showing up was still a big deal 💞💖💕

[MichaTheLight]

I think emotional relateability is the key point for mothers developing authentic and unique emotional bonds to the own children. Focus on that can be sometimes painful cause you must be transparent, accountable and ready also to learn. It's good that you realized the biggest hindrance and this is being driven away by tasks "people before tasks" is well said and useful for quotation. If you are driven emotionally away by tasks you will give the impression of being cold. In reality the concern of mothers who are driven away by tasks is the own insecurity and need for validation from outside so it isn't anymore about the child but about the own ego (what people think) this can be very toxic. So please mothers stand up for yourself and your children. Both things are going together its good for you good for your child good for the partner you may have.

This surely can also be applied to other relationships.

[lulahbelle]

Where we take our cues from. The reminder to check in with our kid, nurture that connection before we take on tasks that then become stressors. Also recognizing our limitations so instead of trying to futility do "everything", priotoze what we can do well to meet their/our needs....

[rachelrice]

Thank you so much! I appreciate how you packed so much wisdom into a succinct video!!

[curlysunshine]

Great advice and you speak beautifully clearly and to the point!

[fy]

my mom and grandma even read this video but they are still forcing me to do something i already did and they even screamed at me for not knowing things that i don’t even need for the future and i am crying now😢

[LaToyiaMcCurdy]

I’m definitely going to incorporate is people before tasks with my children. I have three daughters