My 3½ year old still struggles with potty-training? What can I do?

You mentioned that you have a 3 1/2 year old little boy who, for the most part, is potty-trained, but he has frequent accidents. You mentioned that he'll have anywhere from 1 to 5 or more on any given day, and you're becoming frustrated about it, and wondering if this is normal and if you should talk with his pediatrician or not. Now the time at which a child is ready to potty-train is different for everyone. Some kids are ready at age 2, some even a little bit younger than that, others at age 3, and some aren't ready until age 4, so it's possible that he's just not ready yet. Kids need to have all of the development necessary to make them ready for potty-training. This includes physical, emotional, and mental development. So he needs to be able to associate the need to potty with the need to go, he needs to have the ability to pull his pants up and down, and to verbalize to you that he needs to go.

Now kids are easily distracted at this age, and they lack the ability to prioritize stimuli. So if he's playing with his friends, or he's outside, or enjoying a TV show, then he may not be developmentally ready enough yet to prioritize the fact that he has to go potty and know that that should come first instead of continuing with what he's doing at that moment in time. Association is a very powerful thing, so many parents have success with a timer, or they associate certain activities with going to the bathroom. You could try going back to square 1 and trying things like the timer method to see if it helps him. Set a timer to go off every 20 minutes, and take him to the bathroom, and this will help to remind him and his brain that he needs to make it a priority. As far as bowel movements go, they usually happen after a child eats, and so sit him on the potty every time after a meal. And again, this will hopefully help to train his body to go at certain times.

Accidents are also very common when a child is outside of their own element. So in the home, a child might go to the potty really well, but if you're at a restaurant or at a friend's house, they get out of their routine and they may not be as likely to go to the bathroom, or they might be scared of different surroundings. So if you're going out, make an effort to stop by the bathroom and show it to him, and say, "Let mommy know if you need to go potty. This is where it is, and I'll gladly take you."

Talk with your son about using the potty. Ask him about his feelings, and see if there's anything that he might share with you that would shed light on the situation. Maybe there's something going on that he can express to you that will help you understand why he might be having accidents. Talk to him more frequently about it by reading him books, or showing him TV shows or movies about the topic. There's tons of different things out there that you can access, even just at your local library, for free, and this might get him more excited about going to the bathroom.

[vanik]

I have a sane problem with my 3 1/2 year old boy. Your video made me feel better. I am so frustrated cleaning him

[Jstwatching]

I hate potty training!! It’s hell on earth 😩😩😩😩

[mamasaurus]

I tried the timer but I felt like it gave my little girl anxiety about going potty. She knows how to use the potty but she refuses to go when I remind her to go and will not poop in there. So I am giving her a break from potty training. She's 3 1/2 yrs old and super smart just doesn't care to use or anything to do with the potty and I hate hounding her to use it. 🤷

[fanimegrrl]

I wouldn't say my 3 1/2 year old is mostly potty trained if he has frequent accidents every single day. He seems to understand the concept of potty training and when he was 2 he was doing very good, with little to no accidents! But all of a sudden he is running and hiding or fights me tooth and nail against going to the potty no matter how nice and sugary I am. It's incredibly frustrating and I literally want to throw myself into traffic.

[awesomeblossom]

My 3.5 yr old was better potty trained at 4 months than he is now. We were doing good for the past 5 months, then bam!! Potty and poopoo everywhere except in his toilet for the past week. 🙃

He doesn't want to grow up and is insisting he is a baby, not a big boy.

I dont know what happened or why.

[brandymoreno]

My daughter is almost 4. She fully understands the potty. She never poops her self ever. Knows exactly where the potty is, and when to go. She’s very smart. But for some reason, it’s almost like she makes the conscious decision to pee her self when she knows it’s wrong. It’s totally frustrating because it’s not like she is a baby in the early days who knows nothing about the potty. She understands it’s wrong. She understands how, where, when and why, but she CHOOSES to sit and pee her pants. I’m not exaggerating. She even will change her own underwear and pants right after she does it. I honestly have no idea what to do. We had her urine tested and it came back okay, I’m so frustrated.

[lisadey]

You are always so informative.I have been watching your videos since my kid is born.Thanks so.much.

[pyld]

My 3 yr old girl, struggle to talk, how will she even potty train? I am so concerned 😟

[Allensmom]

my.baby seems to be terrorized of the potty he started doing OK at first and we even praised him but now he's twenty six months and don't want nothing to do with it.

[Bonsqueesquee]

My nearly 4 year old just refuses to pee at home. He pees at Kindy but expects me to let him wear a nappy at home and wants me to change him. This is frustrating.

[lih]

My girl is 3 and a half and about 4 months ago we did the 4 day potty training by keeping her naked and not go anywhere, well she started pooping in the toilet for almost two weeks, sometimes on her own and she would just call me she was done. Well, all of a sudden she started hiding again and now refuses to go altogether. She doesn’t look scared to use the potty but angry or just upset. She will even hold her poo for a few days and when she can’t hold it anymore she rather run and hide inside my closet or behind a door. I’ve tried rewards and nothing works, she’s not even bothered by being wet or soiled, . It’s so draining and frustrating having to watch her every move when I know she needs to go 😩 I would just leave her alone but family and friends are so appalled when they know she’s still not even pee pee potty trained, they think I’ve been lazy to teach her and come up with advice even though I say I’ve done it all

[lailafayyaz]

My baby turned two before a month or so. He just wouldn't sit in washroom... He just wouldn't go... Just don't go what the hell should I do. If I take him anyways he starts crying n scared

[marcusferrier]

A lot of kids are different and learn at different ages. So why are we trying to push are kids to grow up so fast?

[miciahchase]

I love how all the spam comments start with an "A" name. Seems like the person went through an American name book started with the A's and went down the list. LOL

[wardaelsaidi]

how to potty train a 1 years old half boy

[ritamaria]

All the comments are spam. My 3.5 year old girl is very bright and accommodating but she won't pee or poop in the potty. She had one successful trip to the bathroom. But she doesn't understand how to make the pee come out. I feel like she's gonna be in diapers forever. My 5 year old boy has delays. But he was able to do it in the past. One day he gave up. He hasn't gotten back on or tried since he quit. I'm tired. I don't want kids in diapers until college.

[OTERO]

I just see the videos for the gorgeous lady.