Obsessing About Your Future Husband

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Emily Wilson.

Emily Wilson.

[xxLivexxLovexxEver]

Crazy how this is SO TIMELY in my life! I'm not sure if anyone else can relate, but I'm 21 years old and I've never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss and so at this point I'm like well I hope the first guy I date is the only guy and he's the one! But because of that I put so much pressure on, not even him but myself to know right away or be able to hear God say exactly that it's him or not. I've been trying to just let go and realize that maybe I should just breathe and this is definitely God working through Emily to call me out!!! THANK YOU

[mymeever]

My God Emily I was just thinking obsessively about this guy when I saw the notification for this video... God does work in mysterious way, this is just what I need :')

[OfficialCrystalSings]

“A process of discernment” - I like that. This statement made it really clear for me.

[thatsfunny]

We never hear about the stories where someone's like, "This is the one and I know for sure even though it's the first date!" And then they didn't get married. We never hear THOSE stories.

[ayeshat]

So guilty!.... this video came out at just the right time!... Thank you Emily!

[c.c]

A few years ago, when I was 18 I met that one guy who was a strong believer, handsome, a few years older than me, well educated etc. We really liked each other, definietly something was in the air, but we were living far from each other, so we were just texting. Because I've never met someone like him I assumed, that he's the one (I even thought God told me that trough the Bible & prayer). After year of texting we met again in real life and after that he told me he met someone in his area and think it can be something serious. Now i think he knew what i felt and acted very mature, but then i was so hurted and confused. He got married this year and i'm laughing how naive and immature i was then, so I'm glad you made video about that, because it can help young girls to avoid unnecesary confusion and pain :)

[JK-zbbv]

God has given everyone free will to choose who they want to marry. God may tell someone that they should marry a certain person but he allows them to have their own choice. I thought God told me that a man I met was to become my husband, and I got so obsessed with that. I didn't trust that God would allow a romantic relationship to form naturally in his timing. I took matters into my own hands and tried to force a romantic relationship to happen, which led to that man completely cutting me off from his life. I never dated the guy but I felt worse than I ever did after a breakup. The pain was so bad that I really wanted to die. I've learned lessons I didn't ask for and I've matured more than I've wanted to. People rarely hear about the love stories that died. Here's one. Take it to heart and learn from me. Don't rush things just because you think a certain person is going to become your spouse in the future. Be patient and let the future become the present. Everything that happens in God's timing is better than anything that happens in ours.

[lochtessmonsterxoxo]

YES. I dated someone this summer, and early on I was talking to my mom about him and started sobbing because I felt so guilty about dating him when I didn't know if was going to marry him or not. I hate that this mentality is so ingrained in so many of us. We are allowed to not know everything. We are allowed to see potential in someone and want to know them more, see what might happen. We are allowed to enjoy the moment we are in with someone without pressuring ourselves about how long it will last. It doesn't mean we aren't being wise or discerning, and it certainly doesn't mean we're transgressing.

[godsoriginal]

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

[marinaschuh]

Oh my gosh. I seriously needed this. I have a problem with over analyzing and over thinking every little possibility if he’s my “future husband” or not..and I hate it because I know I need to just take a chill pill and relax. I NEEDED THIS.

[GinnyandEric]

This video can apply to so many areas obsessing about your future husband, future career, future children, future home, etc. We live in discontent focusing on an unknown future when God wants us to be peaceful with TODAY. Thanks Emily <3

[livingunashamed]

I think people should be direct, don't rush but also son't want to waste time. This is why I prefer courting over dating. I'm not dating/courting someone that has no chance of being my future spouse sorry.

[Fireflycolor]

A marriage is between two, I mean making the other your imaginary husband/wife withouth telling him/her can be very hurtfull (you can start acting as a married person if you think he/she is THE ONE withouth noticing it). Don't rush, give yourself and your partner time.

And please don't steak in the "posibility" for years (i have a friend who thougt that for 3 years about a boy and they broke up two months after start dating)

[annat]

Obsessing about whether “he is the one” for us is, I think, a sign that we need to focus on growing in virtue and developing our relationship with God. And then our thinking will change into considering what we can offer and how much love we can give to the person we will eventually marry (if that’s God’s plan for our life).
Thanks Emily for the video 🙂

[ludmilaalison]

I’m friends with a guy @ my youth group and we sometimes go out with a group of friends. We’ve never been on a date but we talk a lot and get along really well. I’ve been thinking about this “is he the one?” Thing and it has made me anxious lately. It’s not letting me enjoy this as what it is for now - a beautiful friendship. So, from the bottom of my heart: thank you. I really needed this. God bless you.

[elenahermineregal]

I am just so done with breaking up. I had two relationships one 1, 5 years and one 3, 5 years and with both I had the intention I might marry them but they were not the right ones at the end and it hurts soo much. I can't handle break ups. I cry for months, stop eating and so on. I just want the next guy to be my future husband so badly because I can't handle to have my heart broken once more. And I want to have children...

[imbibesyourlunae]

In a way, this is something I've been struggling with lately. Shortly before my boyfriend and I became a couple, I had a split-second vision of us married (like a 10 year flash-forward). My initial reaction was to see it as a possible future rather than a "THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN" moment, which is easy to remember when we're together. However, we've been long distance for 4 of the 5 months of our relationship, and being apart from him makes it so easy to slip into a fantasy of our wedding and beyond. This is the second video this month (the other being from Tiffany Dawn) where I've been reminded of my initial reaction to that vision. I'm trying to reset my thought process and take up that stance again, because I don't want to ruin our relationship so early on by skipping straight to marriage (especially because he's my first boyfriend). Thank you for this video. I think it's really going to help me get my brain back on track.

[madisonthomas]

Girls this "i knew after the first date" stuff is real for some but not for everyone and it doesn't mean you're weird. Society always pushes the love at first sight phenomenon on us. I'm getting married in 10.5 weeks but on my first date I did not know, nor did I try and figure out, if he was my future husband. We were intentional in dating and we asked questions of one another about our values and our futures etc to see if they align but the love definitely grew slowly and it was not love at first sight nor did we know we would be married a year later. Just enjoy life ladies! If a man comes along be intentional but don't try and figure out if he is the one its a process!

[MaryTheresa]

I knew my husband was the one within 6 months (we were friends for about 3-4 of those months and it was online/phone/IMs until we met in person). I had those feelings before we met in person and they were cemented when we met. We were long distance for 3 1/2 years and it was brutal. If I could do it over again, I would've moved in with him 6-12 months earlier than I did, but it just wasn't feasible for a while due to finances and being long distance didn't help. (I was living in Michigan and him in Pennsylvania, where I live now).

Even though I knew he was the one early on, I knew I had to keep it together and not try to rush things, having learned that lesson the hard way with previous relationships. In fact, I didn't even tell him I felt like this until after we had been together a while. We were together 4 1/2 years before we got engaged and married 18 months later. I think anyone who gets in together in less than a year is an idiot. I view the first year of a relationship as a long-term job interview: it can be fun, yes, but it's also a time to properly vet someone and make sure they are who they say they are.

My parents are the textbook reason for why I vowed to never rush into marriage: they went from hello to baby in 13 months and hated each other pretty much the entire time they were married. My father admitted that if it wasn't for mother being pregnant (she admitted to getting pregnant on purpose to trap him because she thought he was rich), he would've dumper her, but by then it was too late.

I have worked hard to make sure I didn't suffer the same fate, and I owe much of my good fortune to the fact that we didn't rush. The first year should be spent getting to know someone and the second year should be for determining whether or not the two of you work well together in a romantic sense. By the 3-3 1.2 year mark it's appropriate to get engaged/married, if that's what you want. I also think it's important to enjoy your engagement and not rush.

We could've married sooner than 18 months, but I got stressed out with wedding planning and took some time off before diving back into the planning process. It's a stressful, busy time, so don't rush and enjoy it as much as you can because it goes fast. My husband and I have been together 8.5 years and married for just over 2 and it feels like just yesterday we started DMing each other. :) Wow, I didn't intend to give you my whole life story in one comment, lol.

[catherinemills]

AMEN!!! We need to get to know the other person, and take it naturally and slowly. I feel like in the Christian dating scene, so many people are focused on finding the man/women God "wants" them to Marry, and we are so pressured in doing so that it creates problems, and we begin to think every man we meet is "the one". You couldn't have said it any better!