Word Choice, Diction, and Syntax | Writing Tips

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MY SHORT FICTION:

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:38 - Character voice
6:00 - Linguistic ecosystems
8:37 - Defamiliarizing verbs
12:05 - Specifying nouns
15:31 - Prioritizing sound
18:15 - Condensing constructions
21:14 - Word weight
24:05 - Abstract vs. concrete language
25:41 - Using resources

OUTRO MUSIC: "l u v t e a [acoustic]" by Autumn Keys

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"Parts of ____ is one of my most common Google searches" is one of the most relatable things I've ever heard.

KillianProse
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It's impressive how a couple of well curated words can evoque a much more striking image and mood than whole sentences of description ever could.

LeoMafraArt
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the fact that shaelin is doing this for free i-YOU ARE AN ANGEL MA'AM

third_
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Totally impressed you can say specificity three times in close proximity without stumbling. I can't even say it once!

cheggs
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•Dr.Kriss Meyers had contained her emotions for too long. -a doctor (or scientist sees her emotions as a specimen/experiment)
•The policewoman had pushed off her emotions for too long. -police=more violent daily conversation/linguistic as well as showing a more brutal character
•The actress had masked her emotions for too long
•the miner had carted off her emotions for too long
•the runner ran away from her emotions for too long.
•the reporter had written off her emotions
•the dancer stretched her emotions thin for too long
•the queen cut her emotions for too long
•the waitress shook off her emotions for too long
•the madam had drunk off her emotions for too long
•the lawyer had withheld the emotions for too long
•the sorceress had cast off her emotions for too long
•the knight had guarded her emotions for too long
•the artist had covered her emotions for too long
•the actress had signed off her emotions for too long (implies fame by comparing emotion to signing an autograph)

Hope this helps for neurodivergent people to have a simple direct way to show “charachter voice” and setting

depressedpotato
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"visceral" is very visceral

both for the ear to interpret and for the mouth to negotiate

billyalarie
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Love the comparison you do for The Best Bad Things passage. I really like the way you hone in on the minute details rather than talking in broad generalizations about writing. Really helpful!

writeitdown
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Shaelin I just want to thank you for being here and giving us all advice. I think I can say with confidence that you're the person on this app, who's helped me the most. Please never stop posting ❤️

katameszaros
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"The Best Bad Things" - I see "DEAD CURLS" on a bride as curls that are not naturally in her hair, but which are "plastered" on her temples with some gel or goop that holds them stiffly in place.

cjpreach
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This is my favourite writing topic I can now indulge 🙏🏽 Shaelin always coming through 🙏🏽

rachelwritesbooks
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I find that sometimes a highly specific noun can come across as overly verbose or anachronistic. You want to add texture to the piece, but really specific nouns might be out of place. I've definitely been guilty of this.

For example:

"I adore his coat."

Gets changed to:

"I adore his balmacaan."

1) what the fu*k is a balmacaan? There isn't sufficient context for us to understand what the narrator is talking about. 2) Let's say they were supposed to be a child. What kind of child knows what a balmacaan is? We have to re-adjust our perception of the speaker.

You basically already cover this in your section on "linguistic ecosystems, " but I think it bears saying. It's not enough to switch out a vague noun for a specific one, it has to be specific to the story.

(Btw, your videos are incredibly helpful, I've learned more from them than I have from some of my workshop classes lol.)

theGuildedLily
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Those words that sound like themselves was a revelation. Thanks so much for all your videos, Shaelin!

sublimeretrieval
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1) loving the vintage bowling chic 2) thank u for once again delivering the oddly specific advice my pea-brain needs

shayzreads
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The more you discuss craft and technique, the more I anticipate the publication of "Pareidolia"! I want to see your linguistic ecosystems in concentrated form! (And yes I know the individual short stories are online but it's easier to focus when there are pages in my hands instead of scrolling a screen. Easier on my eyes too.)

AdamFishkin
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I think clouds snapping open sounds lovely and visceral. Even better if they're described as taut beforehand.

JoshKnoxChinnery
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IM SO STOKED ABOUT THIS

SO SO SO SO SO SOS OSO SO SO SO SO STOKED

DICTION/WORD CHOICE IS THE WHOLE REASON MY BRAIN CRASHES WRT WRITING

billyalarie
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I would assume “ dead curls” as to be hair extensions, from cut hair, dead and curled.

havvaalexander
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Paul Valéry tells a story: once Edgar Degas asked Stephane Mallarmé: "I can't find ideas for my poems!", to which the poet replied: "Poems are not made of ideas, poems are made of words."

That's the issue: writers forget they only have _one_ raw material: language. I know the experience, the phenomenological description so to speak, is that we have two dimensions of freedom (qua two axes in Cartesian spatializing): story and language. But to the reader, to ourselves when we get back to reading critically and editing, there's only language. Characters and stories and… It's all just sentences upon sentences, so they better be good.

"What does the sun do?" Glow! "Shine. The sun shines." Oh…

What you called a linguistic ecosystem is merely diction or the lexicon of a particular work. From the artistic creative perspective it makes sense to dub it something else when we add your consideration for sound, as that could be an implicit guiding measure. What you call linguistic atmosphere is merely mood.

"trees _strangled_ in vines" you mean it is more _agentive, _ right? To strangle is an action, an act out of volition, an intentional usage of one's means. That's prosopopoeia, giving agentive traces to inanimate or otherwise non-volitional entities. In the end, prosopopoeia is the figure that sustains fiction, for we make _language itself_ speak, tell, show, feel, recollect, etc. It gives itself life! ("It gives itself" for prosopopoeia _and_ language are both… Linguistic.)


"A macaw […] over the ocean." Why not:
Screech from jungle. Beach palms. Coconuts melted to sand. Stars stung the black carpet above. White pale face reflected in waves.

Keeping it unspecific yet interesting via slight surrealism with short phrasing. Brevity marvels!

Another wonderful video, as usual. Lovely stuff.

P.S.: why can't she be eating the original sin in her kitchen? Symbolism is amusing, to say the least. She _is_ just eating an apple, but she is musing on her ruined relationship now that she cheated and got this rush of adrenaline all over the place, so that _is_ the decisive moment. What about that? Making fantastic out of mundane is (im)pure art.

P.P.S.:
Moby Dick @MobyDickatSea
an utterly fearless man is a far more dangerous comrade than a coward.

I guess Melville just forgot some tips on his way home (hence masterpieces are not that masterful, rather measured by institutionalized continuity of appraisal).

EmptyKingdoms
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Shaelin - Wow. This is terrific! I recorded it as MP3 and will listen in the car a few dozen times, for sure. The one, great advantage of a 16-hour weekly work commute.

cjpreach
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Defamiliarization is such a useful concept. I think about it constantly when I'm editing.

deadeaded