Aging and the Solace of Solitude: An Older Person’s Perspective on Avoiding People

Join me on a serene journey through the majestic backcountry trails of the Grand Canyon as I explore the profound peace and personal growth that comes with solitude. In this video, titled "Aging and the Solace of Solitude," I share my thoughts and experiences as an older individual who chooses to embrace the tranquility of nature over the hustle and bustle of social interactions.

In this video, I discuss:

The calming effects of nature and how it fosters mental well-being 🧘‍♀️

Personal reflections on aging and the evolving need for solitude 🌱

The beauty and solitude of the Grand Canyon’s hidden trails 🌲

Tips for fellow older adventurers seeking peace and quiet in nature 🌿

Whether you’re a fellow nature enthusiast, looking for inspiration, or curious about the benefits of solitude, this video offers a heartfelt perspective on finding comfort and wisdom in the quiet corners of the world.

• Would you cross the road or duck down an aisle at Costco to avoid an old acquaintance? I do it all the time.

• It’s not that I am shy, socially inept or unable to carry on a cordial conversation, it is just that as I have aged, I find more value in being by myself as opposed to interaction with others.

• I wasn’t always this way. In fact, as a young man, I was the life of the party. I had an extended circle of friends and delighted in bringing diverse groups together and going off in search of fun. If a party was slow, I had a repertoire of jokes to tell, and I would always be the first one on the dance floor or jumping into the swimming pool! I was a popular guest.

• But there was also a bit of an obsessive nature to my socialization. Occasionally, when my plans fell through, I remember flipping desperately through my black book at 9:30pm on a Saturday looking for someone, anyone, who was free that night. I was afraid of being alone.

• I don’t know when the change occurred in my life. Somehow it seems that close friendships, those outside of a romantic relationship, are a thing of youth. Maybe with work and family, there is just not enough time to conduct those late night heart to hearts. Or maybe the investment of time is not worth the reward.

• And sure, I have had all the hard lessons of youth. Lending money to a best friend that was not repaid. Spending late night hours on the phone with a friend in crises whose crises never seemed to improve or resolve. But I don’t think that is why the friendships fell away over the years, I think they just became less rewarding and that I became more comfortable with the quiet contemplation of being alone.

• A couple of decades ago, I had sold my house, got into my car with my dog, and spent a few months roaming around North America. I set a specific goal of deciding if I wanted to be involved with other people at all. My conclusion was that I did need people, at least to some degree. I needed the clerk to check me into the hotel. I needed the waitress to bring me my steak dinner. I concluded that I am not a hermit. People have utility. But I did not seek to have someone in the car seat next to me on that long journey. I was perfectly comfortable being by myself in quiet contemplation of the places I visited and the landscape rolling by.

• How did I go from being the life of the party to becoming a solitary traveler? I really do not know. Somehow I became more comfortable with myself. Somehow I became less tolerant of the personalities and peculiarities of others. And perhaps there is an element of “been there, done that” in relationships. After 10,000 conversations, what is new to be said? What is the advantage to me?

• Maybe it is genetic. I had only one surviving Grandparent, a Grandmother who was born in the late 1800's. She had a rough life, spent some time in an orphanage. Married, bore two children. Widowed, married again. Widowed again. I loved her dearly, and I would find her alone just sitting in her apartment. With age, she dropped her friends. And I would ask her, Grandma, what do you do? And she said, “think.” Maybe that is what I do as well. Think.

• All of the recommendations for being a healthy older person say “stay engaged.” Stay involved with your family, church and community. Volunteer, join a senior center. But I say, “chuck that.” My motto is “to thine own self be true.” And I am not as concerned about how long I live as how well I live.

• This is who I am. This is being true to myself. I recognize that humans are necessary to the lifestyle I like to live, but in truth, I am more comfortable being by myself. I have found comfort and solace in solitude, and for the most part, I do not find maintaining more than cordial relationships with others worth my time. I like to research issues. I like to sit and think. I find comfort in nature. I find solace in solitude. How about you?

[GC-Hiker]

Thanks for all of the comments. I hope to address each individually, but with the overwhelming response to the video, it may take me a while.

[AncestralFuel]

It’s great to hear someone debunk the myth that people have to stay heavily connected with others in their later years. As an introvert, I forced myself to be highly social for the purposes of work. Now that I am retired, I feel no need to go against my nature.

[markruddy]

I hear you. I'm sixty eight and I"m noticing that I am happy to have quiet time alone. Nature is a friend.

[peterbedford]

Yup. At 66, I find most conversations draining. A polite exchange is perfect.

[rangeorge]

loneliness is complaining about being alone, solitude is loving being alone

[Me]

When I begin my day and know I won’t be dealing with people that day, I feel joy.

[katharinawelles]

I understand. As I get older I value my solitude more and more. I find most social interactions exhausting and of little interest.

[Kentavious]

At 60 I left the hustle bustle of Los Angeles after 40yrs and moved to a sleepy little town on the coast of Oregon. I don't miss my old life or friends. I'm happy to sit and watch the trees grow. I was so sick of the drama people were always injecting into my life. Everybody always wanting something from me. And for many of them it was never enough. I thought it was about time I look inward for my happiness.🙂

[bluwtrgypsy]

This resonates with me completely. When you love being alone, you love yourself.

[straceshow]

I agree 1000% and I'm a lot like you. I'm 71 have been retired for 6 years. I've heard the advice of all the so called "experts" - stay engaged with people, maintain social ties etc. Guess what, the best advice I've received since retiring is "Do what you want, don't do what others think you should do"; and that person is the farthest thing from an "expert". Turns out doing the socially acceptable thing or doing what's expected is a complete waste of time and energy, both of which are dwindling. There's no benefit to me or anyone. To thine own self be true is much better advice.

[paulevans]

It's true. Friendships become less rewarding as you get older. This guy is a breath of fresh air.

[Kwood]

The older I get the more people annoy me & I avoid people . I find ever time I spend time with people they are always on their smart phones or venting about family or friend drama & I just find being around people exhausting spending time with my cats & doing my artwork & being in nature brings me peace & contentment.

[bella]

When you love being alone, you have truly become a Zen Master

[METALWERX]

I am only 56, however I am glad I am not the only one who values and understands your words.

[KvichakSmith]

I’m retiring from a 45 year career as a chef/restaurant owner. Like the dentist said above….I’m tired of people. At first I thought there was something wrong with me. But after listening to your comments I’m not alone. Thanks I love hiking too! Alone! 😊

[DoubleDogDare]

Yeah, I hear you, buddy. I'm in my 70s and have lived the majority of my life alone - by choice. The last 25 years I have lived as a semi-"hermit", only communicating with people at work. Since I retired I have been a "happy hermit", sharing my home with a couple of dogs, only going out once a week for groceries, then pulling into the garage, pulling up the drawbridge to my castle, savoring the solitude and peace that goes with it.

[timothyj.bowlby]

Being able to think my own thoughts in peace and quiet. There's NOTHING better than that.

[krazmokramer]

I was thinking these same thoughts yesterday. Having retired several years ago from a 34 year dental career, and before that as a bartender/restaurant manager and DJ, I find that I really don't like being around people any more. No people = no hassles, IMO. I don't feel the least bit lonely, and am quite content spending my days with my rescued border collies and my newly rescued cat. For me, I got tired of being everyone's entertainment, or being the one to solve their problems. THANKS for this video! I now know I'm not the only senior who feels this way.

[soulfools]

Amen brother!! My saying is "The more time I spend alone, the more I want to be alone."

[jennajewert]

At almost 49, learning to be my own best friend has been a surprisingly powerful journey. Chronically single, never married, no kids and not even desiring a pet (for now), I seem to just want to be alone. I often find interactions with others to be unrewarding, over stimulating and a bit stressful. People seem generally on edge and unfriendly these days, and I'd just as well steer clear and mind my own business. I enjoy my own company and feel close to God in my solitude. He is a great companion.