The Hoffman Process: Changing Lives in 7 Days

The Hoffman process was designed to help us detect negative patterns of behavior, break them, and become the person we truly are. Today, over 100,000 people across the world experienced this intense journey of self-discovery.
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Parents almighty
00:20 Faulty love
00:38 Reducing friction at a high cost
01:04 The Hoffman Process
01:15 Changing Your Life in 7 Days
01:37 Our protagonists
01:48 Eva, Jay and Tom
02:36 Eva's past
02:56 Jay's past
03:25 Tom's past
03:53 The beginning
04:21 Day 1
04:51 Day 2
05:37 Day 3
05:59 Accusations and understanding
06:38 Day 4
07:02 The Development Plan
07:33 Day 5
08:12 Vindictiveness fades
08: 30 Day 6
09:07 Saboteur sabotaged
09:22 Day 7
09:40 Bob Hoffman's legacy
10:00 Learn more and never stop asking questions
10:24 Our fantastic Patrons
10:33 Support us

COLLABORATORS
Script: Jonas Koblin
Script: Elke Menzel of Hoffmann Institute
Artist: Pascal Gaggelli
Voice: Matt Abbott
Coloring: Nalin
Editing: Peera Lertsukittipongsa
Production: Selina Bador
Production Assistant: Bianka
Proofreading: Susan

SOURCES

DIG DEEPER
Still curious about the Hoffman process? Check out this personal account by journalist Janine di Giovanni or read about how Katy Perry and Justin Bieber experienced the process.

[kelf]

The day you realize your parents were young and just winging it too is the day you become an adult.

[IsaacJoshi]

So much of our behaviour we think is part of our identity but is actually just adaptations to please our parents and society

[rogerhaun]

While much of this is useful, I've found (as the youngest of four) that much of who I am is also from relating to siblings -- both the good and bad they did to me plus my reactions to those helpful or unhelpful actions. Much of psychology seems to forget that we're not all an only child; the eldest is raised by parents but the younger ones grow up in the dynamics of a much broader range of people. I am who I am because of my parents, because of my siblings, because of those others around me AND because of choices I've made for better or worse.

[BadWolfSilence]

Regardless of what other people have or haven’t done, there comes a day when you have to choose for yourself to get better. It’s very hard but it’s absolutely possible, if you change your thoughts you will change your life. God bless.

[mitalikambli]

Funny how the root of all mental health problems leads to our parents. Feeling it in the core rn!🙂💯

[TheArtInterviews]

There's a phrase in a Chuck Palahniuk book that's very powerful and it goes: "we only become adults once our parents die. Because before that we're always doing everything either to proud them or spite them"

[IsaacJoshi]

Crazy how our perception of our parents change over yime

[aliaalnuaimi]

Never seen someone who summarised so much valuable content in a single video! This is perfect

[DrTait]

“You’re not welcomed.” That resonates with me. I’m starting to reflect and now understand... Thank you

[blackhagalaz]

I have a mom who was very desperate for love her whole life (middle child of 3 siblings and only girl). Looking back on the things she told me she felt left in the shadows. That her brother where always getting more attention then her. She felt that she got not enough love by my grandma (who honestly I think was overwhelmed with 3 lively children, and bitter that she ended as a housewife when she had a lot of dreams). Therefore my mom idolized my grandfather who always seemed more loving and less strickt (well he was always working so of course there where less conflicts with the children). So my mom had may relationships later, often to older men, but sadly often picked men who didn't treat her right. She is kinda stubborn and often went her own way against everyone's expectations. Eventually she met my father, who she thought would be a nice caring man. So she started a family with him. My father is indeed nice and caring but emotionally immature as heck. He has a mom (my grandma) who is basically a self centered block of ice. Still she always gave more attention to her sons then my aunt, and did everything for them. Therefore my father didn't really know how to step um and express love. When my parents got my sister and me, my dad often kept to himself, drank and didn't take part in family life. Not because he didn't love us but because he didnt know how to take responsibility. My mom was extremely unhappy because she felt like the love she always searched for, was betraying her. So she left with us kids to be a single mom. My sis was still to young to understand what was going on, but I witnessed all the fighting, and my mom crying. I started to comfort my mom and be an emotional support when I was only 6. My mom started to depend on me as a friends rather then a child. I became an over achiever and a big caregiver to my mom and my sister. I learned that my wants and needs are less important than those of other people. So I was the quite kid who always let others pick on me, and gave myself the blame for it. I was bullied heavily in school, and developed depression anxiety and OCD. For example I learned to connect my OCD to stress and pressure. When I myself don't feel emotionally conflicted and pressured my OCD gets better. Now I am in a marriage with a man who is even more emotionally immature then my dad was (and guess how my mother in law is). And now I realize that I pick a certain pattern of men, since my ex was also from a middle class family, with a golden-child younger brother, an enabling father and a distant strickt matriarch. And I am sitting here giving myself the blame for my unhappiness. My therapy made me realize how it all repeats. How relationships and struggles as far back as my grandparents influenced what kind of person I was gonna be. The realization is the first step to free myself from that, though it's still hard a. f. I now try to set boundaries with the demands of my mom, and the carelessness of my husband. He got the ultimatum to step up for once and organize couples therapy for us. As for my dad... A few years ago I heard him say "I love you" for the first time to my sister and my when he was drunk a.f. So there is some progress there to lol.

[stephanazor]

For some it's best to just leave. Some parents aren't capable of having healthy and functional relationships. Some people were were just born into irreparable situations.

[jahnavirai]

It feels so bad that they have such a good content and so little subscribers

[anasbenhaddou]

You are such great team of creative teachers to provide us with complex information simplified and animated.
Concerning this topics, it sheds the light on the fact that no one is just the way he or she is; there is always things behind the scenes that we don't easily know about, including childhood. Thank you!

[erikwebb]

This video is for my kids. So I can recognize when
I might be hurting them

[marcelo.grohmann]

I only understood my father long gone after his death and I was able to develop a beautiful friendship with my mother, after I turn forty years old. Now I'm fifty four and my mother is one of my best friends. And life goes on.

[bayukresna]

Make peace with your past is important. Thanks for that advice

[robdom]

Fun fact: Not every personality disorder comes from your parents. Some of them are created by the many MANY wonderful, refined and kind people you are surrounded by: Like your neighbors, who can break your stuff and then ostracize you after. Your teachers, who control your future career prospects. And your boss, who can make you live under a bridge with the stroke of a pen. If these people want to abuse you, they pretty much can. If you lash out, then you are the problem, not them...

[cvampaul]

This realization is so heart-wrenching

[Klover_pearl]

To all hoomans! Whenever we decide to intertwine our soul to someone always remember the possible consequences. You both can produce another soul that you’ll be accountable in your whole life. It’s hard that the world is in constant loop of toxic parenting which eventually lead to an unwell child that can engage to toxic behavior when they become adult. If you can still recognize a need for a change, do it! If we all truly care for everyone to live life, make a better place

[YashSha]

Loved the way of explanation, and animation,
So thankful for the information of how to reshape our behavior ❤️❤️