Are Slow Replies a RED FLAG in Early Dating?

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[tomdrummy]

If a person does not reciprocate effort……it’s a red flag to me.

[valerie]

I literally just sent a text the other day that said “I felt you pulled your energy back, is everything ok?”
It opened up the door for a great explanation and a conversation around expectations.
Try not to be too afraid of saying something. .. If you get a crappy response then move on.

[desertrose]

I think the anxiety of waiting for texts and overthinking and decoding stems from two reasons: a. We need to get a life and be whole on our own, if your daily routine is jam packed and full of life purpose, literally you won’t care if and when he is texting. You are not counting on the other person to fulfill you or to complete you. b. Women are afraid to lose the guy she has feelings with, when we should invest based on how he acts not how you feel about him. Learn from men, they always keep their options open until commitment happens and rarely fixated on one woman at the beginning no matter how good you are.

[jadegreen]

Great topic. In this age of dating with “texting” there is a specific abuse that happens with “ghosting”, avoiding, ignoring. When it turns into a relationship and it is happening, it’s a true form of abuse that seems to be overlooked.

[adventure_lover]

I don't like too much messaging - if someone is texting me too often I feel suffocated and pressured to respond - when I do reply, I'll send a few long paragraphs and don't expect someone to respond straight away either! I'd rather have a good few quality messages, leading to voice notes or phone calls and spending time together, than frequent texts that are pointless and small talk. I think we're all different and it's important to recognise our own needs and what it is we want from someone else - and why, what need are the text messages fulfilling?

[luisjosp]

I believe that a RED FLAG comes when you notice that you are the only person who starts a conversation... or the one that always says "hi", "good morning", etc etc... even if it is after 2-4 days of zero communication.
That for me shows NO interest at all from the other part.

[coolbreeze]

We all have a basic level of normal that we want in a relationship. Just from my experience, it's never good to compromise on what feels normal to you. If you feel something is off with the communication right away, it's not worth it. If they're texting obsessively and you let them know it's too much but they keep doing it, end it right away. Same If they are hardly communicating and leave you a 1 word message every other day. If you're not happy with the level of communication, the other person might change temporarily to appease you but will always go back to the way they were initially.

[mattcal]

Slow replies are a no go… don’t even bother pursuing. It is low interest plain and simple. Move on quickly and efficiently. Find someone with more interest or you are asking for a painful experience

[zoeh]

"Model the behavior on your best day". Brilliant insight ❤️

[lizstarcevic]

Very interesting.
Bottom line is if they aren't on the same page as you, don't waste your time.
When two people meet, you either get together or you don't on a higher level, there is no guesswork.
It's really as simple as that.

[ersheri]

Ever get to the point where you just don’t give a 💩 anymore about any of this? Yeah well I’m there.

[loinfinito]

Yesss the key here is that if we are sitting around stressing it is because we are not being present in our own life…I realized it’s a matter of stopping thinking about it and actually living my best day.

[rebeccahermosillo]

Love the dialogue on maturity and impulse control. Definitely important to keep an eye on those aspects of self and others in relationships. Thanks for another great video! 😊

[alfsmom]

The key words in this video EARLY DATING. You have to build up to to genuine conversation. I think a lot of people suffer from codependency so they get into 'round the clock conversation to not feel alone and get upset with people who don't reciprocated because it highlights how alone they feel. It's a projection. But once someone is your boyfriend or girlfriend, i think you do have to communicate clearly and check in. However, i will never text people back during a work day. My job takes incredible focus. Ive never had a real adult expect texts from me between 9-5.

[Michelle-igul]

Why is replying quickly a red flag as many suggest? I'm a quick replier with everyone; I have a rich, full life, too. I feel like it's over analyzing to say someone is desperate for replying quickly, or has no life. I feel like it's weirder to stare at the text and actually think: well, I'll wait a casual three hours to act like I'm busy. I tend to reply right when I see the message. If I can't be my natural self around you, then probably not a good fit. My friends and I fire off random texts all day to each other, especially if the convo is good. If the guy really likes me. This is fun sometimes, too. How can you have a good texting banter with days between texts?

[manalm]

Perfect timing for this cuz I really needed it! 🥺❤️

[Widadjee]

GREAT topic. So relatable for a lot of us.. thank you for this video!

[nestorcolt]

Matthew's content is so brilliant that I really appreciate finding these gems on YouTube that help us all to grow to a better person with ourselves and with our potential partners. I know that the majority of his audience are women, but I believe if more men would drop their toxic masculinity and gather all the valuable lessons like these, the world would be a better place. We all just want to be better humans. That's it.

[DanTuber]

Nobody tries with online dating. A slow reply would be a win. No replies is the common thing.

[sarahbjelobaba]

Great video and you’ve just answered two questions that have been going around in my head. Thank you so much