Stephen Foster - If You've Only Got a Moustache

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Stephen Foster (1826-1864)

If You've Only Got a Moustache (1864)

Jan DeGaetani, mezzo-soprano
Gilbert Kalish, piano

recorded on period instruments at the Smithsonian Institute, Washington, D.C.

♫ · ♫ · ♫

[matthewdaye]

Oh! all of you poor single men,
Don't ever give up in despair,
For there's always a chance while there's life
To capture the hearts of the fair,
No matter what may be your age,
You always may cut a fine dash,
You will suit all the girls to a hair
If you've only got a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you've only got a moustache.
Your head may be thick as a block,
And empty as any foot-ball,
Oh! your eyes may be green as the grass
Your heart just as hard as a wall.
Yet take the advice that I give,
You'll soon gain affection and cash,
And will be all the rage with the girls,
If you'll only get a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you'll only get a moustache.
No matter for manners or style,
No matter for birth or for fame,
All these used to have something to do
With young ladies changing their name,
There's no reason now to despond,
Or go and do any thing rash,
For you'll do though you can't raise a cent,
If you'll only raise a moustache!
A moustache, a moustache,
If you'll only raise a moustache.
I once was in sorrow and tears
Because I was jilted you know,
So right down to the river I ran
To quickly dispose of my woe,
A good friend he gave me advice
And timely prevented the splash,
Now at home I've a wife and ten heirs,
And all through a handsome moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
And all through a handsome moustache

[thedebatehitman]

I can’t get this goddamn song out of my head even though we now have more than three songs that we can enjoy.

[jum]

I.Had.No.Idea. I swear I thought this was Seth MacFarlane foolishness.

[antoanbojichkov]

That's my dogs favourite song, he used to sing to it all the time. Now he has liver cancer and refuses to eat, he is close to ending his road on earth but this song seems to brighten him up a bit. Thanks to whoever made it! That's my fav song forever!!!!

[Peterhorowitz]

Big moustache, small moustache, my moustache, your moustache, say the word the word moustache, “a moustache a moustache”, now we both have said moustache

[magik]

Every joke Seth MacFarlane writes is just a reference to something else.

[thomasshaughnessy]

Didn't expect it to be sung like an opera

[devinpetersen]

I literally had an Edison record of this. All my life problems would cease to exist if I only had a mustache.

[CJsangster]

Isn’t it Ironic how we see Stephen Foster WITHOUT a mustache?

[classicalguitar]

And the pic of Stephen Foster has… NO MUSTACHE!

[Alaska-Jack]

Had no idea it was a song from the 1800's.

[robertbertagna]

god bless the late stephen foster and old dixie thank you sah.

[xpirate]

I refuse to believe this was a real song before the movie haha

[tawfiqihab]

Oh! all of you poor single men,
Don’t ever give up in despair,
For there’s always a chance while there’s life
To capture the hearts of the fair,
No matter what may be your age,
You always may cut a fine dash,
You will suit all the girls to a hair
If you’ve only got a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you’ve only got a moustache.

Your head may be thick as a block,
And empty as any foot-ball,
Oh! your eyes may be green as the grass
Your heart just as hard as a wall.
Yet take the advice that I give,
You’ll soon gain affection and cash,
And will be all the rage with the girls,
If you’ll only get a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you’ll only get a moustache.

2.

4.

No matter for manners or style,
No matter for birth or for fame,
All these used to have something to do
With young ladies changing their name,
There’s no reason now to despond,
Or go and do any thing rash,
For you’ll do though you can’t raise a cent,
If you’ll only raise a moustache!
A moustache, a moustache,
If you’ll only raise a moustache.

I once was in sorrow and tears
Because I was jilted you know,
So right down to the river I ran
To quickly dispose of my woe,
A good friend he gave me advice
And timely prevented the splash,
Now at home I’ve a wife and ten heirs,
And all through a handsome moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
And all through a handsome moustach

[danielleking]

HOW IS THIS A REAL SONG?! I'm dying, I thought 100% that Seth made this up. 😂😂😂

[flipnbeats]

Hahaha 99.8% of us are here for the same reason.

[parkersandahl]

Seth Macfarlane has now given us a history lesson

[tombradystangoat]

We all know exactly why we're here... thanks Seth Macfarlane!

[DorianYarg]

Oh! all of you poor single men,
Don't ever give up in despair,
For there's always a chance while there's life
To capture the hearts of the fair,
No matter what may be your age,
You always may cut a fine dash,
You will suit all the girls to a hair
If you've only got a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,
If you've only got a moustache.
Your head may be thick as a block,
And empty as any foot-ball,
Oh! your eyes may be green as the grass
Your heart just as hard as a wall.
Yet take the advice that I give,
You'll soon gain affection and cash,
And will be all the rage with the girls,
If you'll only get a moustache,
A moustache, a moustache,

[henryhoneybadger]

I’m playing this song in high school from a medley called Foster’s America