Soul Searching Girl ~ A Temple Wedding Memory ~ Ex Mormon Story

While I am very happy with my decision to leave the mormon church, there are still tender feelings of knowing what I gave up. Here is a memory from my past and a possible happening in the future regarding mormon weddings. Basically heart on sleeve. I share so those of you going through this process know you are not alone. There are many of us who have gone before you and understand. I will be focusing on the positive life after leaving from here on out. There is life after mormonism and it is good.

[KatCreighton]

I cannot understand a "church" that stands by such exclusionary rules. Jesus was not exclusionary; He welcomed everyone and loved everyone, despite of the scorn He sometimes faced because of it. As a representation of the body of Christ, a church should never exclude anyone. If only the "approved" or "holy" are allowed to enter, what good is that doing? That's like a hospital only admitting people who are well. Not allowing family of the bride/groom to see them get married causes hurt feelings and resentment; a "church" should never do anything that sows seeds of negativity or distrust among its people.

[nodak]

You don't need a stake, a church, a cathedral or a temple to have faith. Have you ever been to Yosemite & walked through the redwoods? For me, I can't imagine a more beautiful place to commune with God.

[angelenapulis]

My grandparents weren’t able to attend my parents’ wedding or mine, and they’ve been open about the fact that that pain will probably never heal. I used to kinda roll my eyes and think, “You just don’t understand.” Now I realize that *I* didn’t understand. I didn’t even try to understand how hurtful that was. I should have gotten married civilly first. It makes me so mad that I was taught to believe that wasn’t a real option (I mean, it was in this board game I played as a kid called Mortality, and I actually cried when my space landed on civil marriage instead of temple marriage... So that gives you an idea). I can’t ever take back the hurt my non-LDS family members experienced. And I never should have taken those things so lightly.

[janetstephens]

I feel your pain. My non-Mormon parents drove from Kentucky to sit in the lobby downstairs while I was married upstairs in the Salt Lake Temple. It breaks my heart now that my parents are gone, and I am no longer Mormon. How could I have been so brainwashed!?!

[amyleoness]

I recently told my whole Mormon Family that I am not a Mormon. In Utah, it's almost like coming out of the closet gay. It's been tough...my Mother in Law still won't talk to me. I am just tired of pretending and I want to be true to myself...
I had to watch my Father cry, as my Sister got married in the temple, and he wasn't allowed in. I SO relate to your story.

[wikkidie]

I'm so glad to be an exmormon, and that I don't have to put my family through this if I ever get married.

[kimlamoreaux]

As an ex-mormon, I can relate to your story Amy. The only person that was able to attend my temple wedding was my grandmother. As I reflect on that day, I am so very sad that my mother and siblings were unable to witness my wedding. No matter what is said, a "family" centered church would not allow this to happen. I still wear my emotions on my sleeve when I talk about it. Thank you for sharing your experience and letting many of us know that we are not alone in our emotions regarding this. Be well.

[reneexlayla]

Most of my dad's side of the family is Mormon. My cousins are pretty devout (well, one was at the time) and I remember hearing about one of my cousins coming back from her mission and was expected to get married. I was extremely hurt that I wouldn't be able to attend the ceremony because I am not Mormon and don't have a temple recommends and all that. I am Catholic. I understand your pain and I hope one day you find peace.  

[Exmormonology]

Yep, I no longer follow blindly. Anything. Life is good.

[azryder]

I'm lds but haven't been to the temple and most likely never will because I can not say I believe their is ONE true church. I have never felt that way. Ever since childhood is has not felt right. The true church to me is not a "church". I do not feel one religion is "right" over another religon. If we are all God's children than we are all just that. His children.

[kristinatrujillo]

This brings back so many awful memories of growing up in the church and Utah.  I couldn't get away from the church or Utah fast enough. 

[Exmormonology]

Thanks for watching my vlogs. I have nothing to repent of and no dilemma that needs solving. I am perfectly happy and at peace on my lovely life journey. There are people who understand what I have gone through and who feel feelings and emotions similar to what I feel. These vlogs are for them, so they know they are not alone. Emails come to me everyday thanking me for helping. I am courageous in my searching. If you are happy in the Mormon faith, wonderful. All my best to you. ~Amy

[tinarowland]

Amy, I cried when I saw the Wedding Memory. My daughter got married in the temple 2 years ago. She was recruited 3 years ago she knows the truth about the cult. Sadly enough she has been brained washed. I cry every time I think about her getting married and not being able to see her walk down the isle with her father or  have her grandparents their. The pain and hurt never goes away.  I know how your father felt that day and every day after that. I am waiting for her to leave, I hope before she has children. Its crazy how she was recruited. I am happy for you and proud that you found the strength to leave. Thank you for sharing your story. I'd love for Mothers Day if my daughter some how could see your Wedding Memory. If she would only do that one thing for me It would make my day.

[CraigeLowry]

I love you Amy for your truth, honesty and self-integrity. You will be blessed for your righteous endeavors and your love of family and others.
Don't worry... eternal life is full of family and beautiful forgotten wonders that enhance every facet of the spectrum of life... 

[loriathompson]

Dear Sister, Namaste! You are so courageous to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with the world. My heart ached when you spoke about your memory of your own wedding and then the anticipation of your children's weddings. Such an incredible life you have! You were given the chance to choose! It is a blessing to see the options before us. With love and respect, Lori

[daniellequintero]

My heart goes out to you. I recently left the church for reasons that I do not believe in the doctrine and its sad to see these things in your video

[robertarogers]

Thank you for sharing your video, your honesty to help those of us that are facing the same thing. What a blessing to listen to your video. May God bless you to heal your wounds from the past and bless your future.

[Vintagedaydreamer]

I just want you to know that I am praying for you. I admire you and your testimony.

[erinjay]

I cry scared for their eternal life, not missing their wedding on earth.

[niphrim]

Beautiful story. You've captivated me. It is terrifying to make the decision you made. I'm happy that you've found peace.