INFJ Thoughts: Labels and Identity

What is the purpose of these labels we wear in life?

Photography courtesy of Pixabay and yours truly. Video courtesy of yours truly.

[Cafewatercolor]

I used to not like the labels. Especially when someone tries to put it on me. Lots of time as they put it on you, they also expect you to feel and behave a certain way. I don't like that. I tend to accept it more when I discover the label myself. That being said... As I grew older, it doesn't seem to matter that much anymore. I'm actually more interested in what other people label me again. Because that reflects the things I put out in this world. The people around me become the mirrors.

It's funny how we try so hard to find our identity ourselves, we reject what other people think of us. And as we grew older, we start to utilize others to see the true reflection of ourself and learn more. Once again thank you for sharing. You are such a wise person but not coming from a high up position. I can listen to you like you are a friend who can relate to me.

[jaimiehorton]

It's so true, I'm always swimming in my head asking who I am but I never walk away from an afternoon with my best friend of 20 years wondering who I am. Good relationships affirm who you are, not strip that away. It's funny you saying you don't show all your labels, I've been unconsciously been doing the same thing for a few years. It does make connecting with different people much easier and I've had some fascinating conversations that way. The profession label always gets me, I'm not a dull person but clerical can't sound anything but dull. Or do I tell the brand new person about my short unsuccessful social work career that still feels like a sore subject? 🙄 I wish everyone could just start a conversation by saying something funny or unusual about themselves, let's get to the interesting stuff!

Regarding cemeteries, thank you so much for the tour of that beautiful one! I'm a huge cemetery buff too, I saw the very old one in Salem a few years ago and could have stayed all day. I'm lucky to live in Buffalo and we have the stunning Forest Lawn, it's one of my favorite places. Stories in Stone by Douglas Keister is an excellent guide to cemetery symbolism of you're looking for one. Sorry I couldn't resist nerding out a little...🤓

[mayaplant]

I have been watching your videos for a while now and I always love hearing your insights and getting to ponder off of them and grow those ideas into something more.

I think when it comes to the labels we identify with in this life, we use them in order to guide us on our path and achieve our goals. Once upon a time, I was a student. That grew into me becoming a painter.. etc. Ultimately, my thoughts come down to this. Our "selfish labels" really are just that... Related to us, our own personal goals and how we perceive ourselves. Our relational labels are placed upon us by others. This is where our impact on the world is shown, or as you said, how our piece fits into the puzzle. I have not done much research on tombstones, but from what I understand, the others in our lives are the ones who place the labels on them. This reasoning helps me to understand as to why so often the labels on tombstones are so simple. It is who we are in essence to each individual. Sometimes it is hard to see our own essence because we have so much going on in our own heads!

This really does make me feel happy about the amount of effort I put into my interpersonal relationships, as it has been something that I've seen to be important since I can remember. My goal has always been to be the best person that I can be, and to make a positive impact on the world. It isn't what we say that matters; but what we do. :)

[thejoycatcher]

Ok I’m glad I’m not the only one not comfortable with labels. We are so much as humans. To stick a label on ourselves limits us too! I don’t even bring up things to stick myself or someone else in a box. You are so gifted. I know you may not even comfortable with this compliment but you are able to communicate and share my own thoughts and feelings. I can’t always put my thoughts and feelings together in a way that makes sense. I really appreciate you sharing your gift! We all need to find our own purpose and then have the courage to share. Having a gift and not sharing is kind of being ungrateful really. Give back and it creates a better balance in the world. 🙏🏻❤️🤗

[brentlagan]

I laughed out loud when you said circle jerk. I don’t know if there’s an I NFJ thing “more labels” or dyslexic thing as I am Both. But I think in pictures. the picture you just painted was hysterical. Lol I also love your channel.

[luisgenao]

I had embraced the oposite strategy. I wore my labels visibly in an attempt to show that, in spite of the differences, we could still respect each other as human beings and help one another selflessly. Living the “be the change you want to see in the world” kind of daily mission. But my pride and self-righteousness stood in the way of growth for many years. It was only after it was pointed out by a very trusted friend that I realized how I was grandstanding unconsciously because I was so sure of what I knew to be the right thing to do.

Your take on it seems to deal with the problem of pride in a beautiful way. The example of the labels that end up in epitaphs was insightful. Thank you for sharing what is on your mind.

[tzephanyahu]

This is a great subject and very important concept for people to truly digest.
The divisive nature of labels which is part of human nature, as you stated, is sadly witnessed amongst Christians as well. There are so many denominations which has only lead to huge divisions and much confusion. Some Christians won't have anything to do with me over a mere label, rather than my heart and mind.
Similar to how art imitates life and then soon life imitates art - labels are first assigned for clarity and understanding but then soon become boundaries of growth and thought. We quickly lose track how we start to "shape" ourselves to the confines of the label's definition and will even defend others sharing the label with a passion. How illogical our behaviour can be.
Anyway, thank you for another great and thought-provoking video! May it awaken many to this truth. Love & Shalom

[braddingwall]

Hello, I am just realizing at the age of 54 who/what I am. I have been called a freak, weird and strange since high school and this made me go into isolation for the longest time. I want to thank you for doing what you do, for you and others like you have provided me with insight and guidance that is truly appreciated. It has allowed me to do research and thus allowed me to connect many dots in finding out why I am. I am grateful that I started this journey; as they say, better late than never. Knowing there are others out there in this world who think and act like me is a blessing. It has brought me much relief knowing I am not alone.

I have always called myself a chameleon, one day a woman said to me "Really, you don't have a personality of your own, that is so sad". Of course I have my own personality. I know I am strong, independent; sometimes vibrant, sometimes moody, sometimes ( insert your own adjective here...) I just have many masks. When I have to deal with a troubled passenger, I observe them, then I can be who they need me to be in that moment for them to find themselves again. They are just upset or frustrated and need someone to listen or give firm and kind guidance. I have settled people down where others have failed and they look at me and ask " what did you do" I always answer "I just listened". 

I would like to ask you or any other's out there if they have issues with sensory overload. Bright lights, high pitched sounds and light touch are problems for me. I have yet to find any discussion regarding this in my research. 

Thank you again.

Brad

[joseramirez-hhsw]

You're smart. See, I watched your recent video and now I can see you. (Like actually) It was literally the piece I was missing to make sense, for INFJs to make sense to me. I really am dumbstruck. You're bright.

I'm really excited and I plan to revisit you're old videos as I'm sure I'll find them 'new' and beaming with nuance.

[jennifervelez]

Yes I’ve been fighting labels on people all my life. People are so much more than the labels they wear. I remember one lady had over forty labels to mark all her achievements and I thought, what a waste because anyone who had done that many things by the time she was 25 probably did all of those things with the lest amount of effort, and certainly was the least impactful. After all, the time and dedication you put into something says something about you. You might devout your life to one small thing, but that little thing might save the world. I always find people who want to glorify themselves of course, but most people just seem to want to put everyone in a neat little box that they can neatly put aside as unimportant. No effort is required, no time taken, and their little world continues on cycles without deviation or disruption of themselves or the others connected to them. I have to believe that each and every relationship we have is for a purpose, and the ultimate opportunity to give and receive love-thereby creating light in the world. The act of getting to know that person is like the opening of a flower, with its colors and it’s scents and it’s lovely stretch toward the sun. Although it takes patience and effort on your part at the end you have witnessed something miraculous. Then connecting everyone you know to this person is like creating a vine of flowers which eventually gives fruit. It makes sense to me to connect people in the physical world when they already are unwittingly connected in the spiritual world.

[Shilo]

Yesterday I was talking to some friends, and I asked a weird question that popped in my head while having a conversation with them. I asked, when you see yourself in the mirror, what do you see? And everyone defined what they saw or who they are. Made me feel a little crazy bc when it got to my turn, I said that what I see in the mirror, and who I really am don’t match. Dint know how to explain it further bt it just made sense to me. Today I’m seeing this video and it clicked. It’s labels. I never seen myself in any specific label. I have many and I can jump from one to another. Not only that bt when I look at the mirror i am proud of who I am and how I look, bt it doesn’t feel like it’s me. I feel like when I walk around in POV I don’t even, idk how to explain it so here comes some word vomit, bt I feel like I am myself in a biological machine in which I operate. Yet when I look at the mirror I see this machine and what I have worked on to be proud of it bt it’s not me. How I look or dress or am isn’t who I am. Lol does that make sense? Dint really wanted to write this but as so many things I’ve thought before you have come to the same conclusion, or you have brought light through your experience on something I’ve been pondering but couldn’t make sense of, I thought this would be a great point to see if anyone else feel this way and could make more sense of it, or define it better. Either way, y’all have a happy Monday

[gemeinschaftsgeful]

I've experienced before in my life that I became so encamped in my own label, I was using it as a cover and a trap so as to avoid other aspects of my life that were left unacknowledged. In a way, business in the label was a way to avoid certain aspects of emptiness. Labels can be about not accepting certain painful realities.

Someone came up with the theory that Starbucks created the current trend for people to use long labeling to describe themselves because special and important people always have a very long descriptive label in ordering their coffee drink there. That's were the Starbucks generation picked it up and applied it to themselves, or so the theory goes.

I think there is real potential for unhappiness in descriptive labels if used to cover up some deeper aspect of the self. I'm this, not that! Perhaps a third possibility won't even be conceived of as even existing as an option. Certain labels are almost taboo in modern society. What in the past might a been a virtue might now be stigmatizing, What young person would go to a party nowadays and describe themselves as a virgin! It's seems funny now but long ago, that would have been seen as a noble label.

[noturbo]

Glad to know i am not the only one who thinks to much 😍

[noturbo]

i am going to put he wouldn't eat his vegetables on mine .