S2E3. a black gay man and a white gay man having a racial conversation.

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[dino]

As a white guy dating a black guy, one of the reasons our relationship works is because we're very open and respectful about how different our experiences are, and in which ways they overlap. I listen to him, I support him, I'm his friend, and I never assume that I know everything. And if I do a mistake, I apologize, we talk about it, and I become better for it. And I always hold myself accountable (like everyone should, whatever your race is).

[starbrand]

This was a great conversation. We really need to address issues like this. The White guy brought up a fantastic point. Some Black men feel guilty for being attracted to White men. Because there is a negative stereotype of selling out. And there's also a guilt for White men being attractive to Black men. This is due to the concept of fetishizing.

[acos]

We definitely need more personal, honest conversations like this one! I would love to see both of you come back and talk some more!!

[xamanbro]

Jake made a good point at 13:55. Black people having their own spaces is a “beautiful thing.” There isn’t always a need to integrate spaces when it can mitigate culture. Black gay men are allowing to be comfortable in predominantly Black spaces—it’s simply a matter of culture. Cultures and ethnic groups all around the world embrace and love within their own culture. Not every aspect of America needs to be a melting pot. Integration is good and necessary, but not when it takes away from the authenticity of Black culture.

[Kevynmorgan]

Black Americans and Africans need a racial conversation too

[sivuyilemtsi]

The white guy was very intelligent and very mature. Not once did he appear to be defensive in his answers and or pretend to know everything and what is best for everyone, which is what you get from many white people who claim to be our allies. He is open to learning and be corrected without taking it as a personal attack on himself as a person. Really enjoyed listening to this conversation.

[dstarks]

‘What I want from white people is to know when to sit it out’ that’s it. That’s the video we needed.

[corneliuswhite]

As a former Atlanta resident, I saw the segregation firsthand. Only toward the end (almost 20 years ago), did I see a trickling of White gays in Black spaces, but DEFINITELY there were a LOT of spaces Black gays weren't welcomed. The feeling was intense (Ex: The now defunct Hotlanta River Expo, and yes Blake's).
As to the feeling of Black Gays "not needing to integrate, " we continually explain that this societal structure was only developed because Black Gays weren't welcomed in any other space BUT our own, and therefore HAD to create our own spaces or simply remain marginalized.
This happened all across the country.

Back in the day if you were traveling, you pretty much had to use a Damron guide (an equivalent to the Green Book for Gay men), to find where Black gay men were welcomed or accepted.
Now I guess you just use an app and swipe right or left, but in the word's of Forrest Gump's mother, "...You never know what you're gonna get." 😏

[dallastyree]

This was great!!!! Two mature men expressing their experiences. I want more friends like this! ❤️

[k.simmons]

Conversations like this are needed. Shows me that though we are apart, some things may be vastly different, but many things are the same. I live here in Atlanta and it’s very heartbreaking seeing the divide and like the young man said, on the same street. We HAVE to do better!

[UnCommonScentz]

Obio, your puppy was tryin to HAVE Jake, at all costs! SKSKSKKSSKKS!

[billybatson]

I prayed before watching this. I didn't know if this was going to be a serious unpacking of race and segregation within the gay community. I'm glad that I did-you both were very honest and transparent.

[kev]

This was great. My partner of 7 years is white and we still have moments where we have to discuss things that I wouldn't have to with a Black partner. He's now aware of the waiter/hotel clerk who only speaks to him or hands him the check despite me having my card out. He corrects the customers who approach us and tell me that they need help once I finish assisting him. He had to check himself a few times for placing me in situations that I lacked the privilege to get out of. I still feel guilty when Black men tell me that I'm not pro Black. I've seen BM get a great job and make a goal of dating outside of the Black community in order to "level up". I've dated every color under the sun and just happened to land here.

[kamronhood]

Omg Obio this is wtf the lgbt community needs man!❤️❤️❤️

[jouleonyx]

I appreciate the fact that you even had this conversation the only issue I have is that the conversation was all over the place. Jake gets major props for being forthcoming and open about his experiences in the gay community when it came to race, he's an attractive white guy I can see being in a relationship with a black guy, not saying he's attractive because he's white he's an attractive guy who happens to be white.

[zaviermcf.]

Great conversation that definitely could have gone further in so many ways. There are certainly differences in the way Black gay men operate and show attraction to one another compared to non-Black gay men in their spaces. When Jake mentioned being eye-r*ped in certain scenarios, I know exactly what he means; Men (in my experience, typically older) will stare and/or follow you around bars for your attention or to express attraction instead of just saying 'Hello.' It's one of the most uncomfortable experiences I've had personally. But also, there's more conversation for a future episode to discuss the consumption of and standards toward femininity. Jake was right on the ball when he said that often we don't mind femininity when it's in a more masculine, muscular build but it's laughable and/or hated when it exists in bodies that are fat or twink-ish/skinny.

[billyjohn]

I've dated more white men than black however never shy'd away from my blackness around them. AND TRUST ME... My first white boyfriend was as white as they come. From what he liked to how he talked and dressed, but absolutely loved I was unapologetically "BLACK" around him and vice versa. Plot twist, we're back together again after a nearly 5-year on and off relationship 💖

PS. He never once tried to act black around me

[Kala_S]

This is quickly becoming one of my fav podcasts

[delancefortson]

Great convo! And….Obio…your dog….it hunches people! Every episode dust far, lil dusty gets his hump on! 😂😂😂

[MegaDanceaholic]

this episode was absolutely amazing i didn't expect it to be so fruitful to watch just because i have no interest in building community with whites nor including them but its cool to hear a "white ally" speak about what he experiences.