Fez Opening Cutscene Translated

Ever wonder what is being said during the opening sequence of Fez when you're talking with the giant cube? Well wonder no more. Credit for the alphabet translation goes to Geison Cacho. Check out game front's handy dandy translation chart so you don't have to ever wonder what's being said in the world of Fez.

[pepsipurgatory]

It's funny how this hexohedron behaves like a normal guy while looking like an all-knowing being

[clowdyglasses]

"Welcome to the club, enjoy your free hat"
-a cube that talks in tetris

[RochRich.]

Gomez: o shit, a fucking giant omnipotent cube is going to fuck up our universe

Cube: hi, I’m your friendly neighbourhood hexahedron

[firekirby]

Wait a second... So the Fez that most people, myself included, thought gave Gomez his powers was nothing but a simple Fez? And it was an error in the procedure that caused Gomez to be able to rotate the dimension in the first place? What's going on here?! Everything I've come to know is a lie!!! Except for the cake, which is right here. Mmm... cake...

[Breexee]

it’s funny how the cube basically says “it’s your problem if I make a mistake, not mine”

[SuperRedstoneman]

During the animation of gomez rotating on himself and getting lifted up I managed to translate :
The world is three dimensional dummy
Lol
I guess the cube just wanted to teach us the true nature of the world
Like if you want more people to see it !

[shadowstar]

I can never look at this thing the same way again.

[thesilvernymph]

Look up the composer, Disasterpeace. Awesome soundtrack.

[mangolollipop_]

I've played this game every year and I haven't seen the intro since I started this game 10 years ago. I got stuck in 2 levels and never got to finish it

[seancharrie]

Thanks dude! I just started this game and looked this up immediately. I'm already entranced with it. I gave up on Dragon's Dogma, DMC 4, Two Worlds 2, and a few other games before finally finding this.

[Ankhtur]

It feels like he translated right. i tried to translate once. i got bored :D. 1st kind was something like that

[QuadeZaban]

the ever-expanding universe i assume? it would only make sense considering the 32 cube ending.

[barelycertain]

ha, yeah. that's the humor in this.

[video]

SCAM.  You never translated ANY of the words that fall from the cube!

[LobsterBoffin]

except that sencence is longer than 26 letters...

[CobbleStoneGang]

How about more Fez and more Dark Souls lol

[exzisd]

When Gomez gets sucked up into the Hexahedron there are letters shooting out of the bottom of it as he levitates. Has anyone translated this or is it just gibberish? I would imagine it says something. Everything seems so deliberately placed in this game.

[DeeTheDoombound]

now can you translate the closing scene with all the cubes and anti cubes?

[nado]

I don't think watching James die a lot would be helpful.

[DownieThor]

@keggie09 So did you. *tasteless (But I do agree with your comment) ;)