You Can Only Control Your Actions

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #control #mentalhealth

[GodammitNappa]

I've been being told this for months by my therapist and it just somehow clicked now. And damn the realization I'm not happy and that I need to change to be happy... oof

[ayne]

I often hear this in therapy, self-help etc. but it is so hard to let it sink in when there are voices that’s deeply programmed in your mind

[KyleAlexJohn]

If someone's actions aren't coinciding with your wants and values, you can choose to move on to someone who's actions will.

[classyjohn]

This was my favorite snippet from the full video.

I'm someone who made A LOT of honestly, tragic mistakes in my life. I didn't end up getting the degree I wanted in college or going to a "good" university. There were (and still are) naysayers who'd make fun of me and honestly said pretty mean stuff to me when I expressed that I wanted to pursue a career in an electrical engineering adjacent field (embedded systems) even though I only had a degree in math. I've been screamed at and told that I was unqualified for this kind of job/career. I was told to give up and pursue other careers such as actuary, tech support, nursing, etc. Basically, these people suggested random careers that didn't need much schooling because I think that they honesty just want me to give up (basically, "don't touch my field. leave it to the qualified people").

I think a part of me wanted to listen to those people because I'm a people pleaser who wanted to be accepted by others even at the cost of myself. But, this is one thing that I'm so stubborn about and won't really negotiate. In june of 2020, I graduated college and I decided to basically self-study programming and some electronics and I would apply for this job, even though I didn't have the degree they wanted. I'd ask around for advice and some people still would tell me the same negative advice. About 8 months post graduation and after some inconsistent periods of applying for jobs, I managed to land 2 job offers. I took the position that basically sounded more closer to what I wanted to do and I've been at this job ever since (~2 years).

When I reflect on this, I could've listened to the naysayers and I could've just not taken the job. But, I think this was one of the few times in my life where I actually pursued something of my own desire and accord, regardless of how ridiculous/risky/illogical it may have sounded to others. Its true that of the few people in my life, very few actually support me in my life decisions and where I am now. But again, like Dr. K says here, I gotta follow my own path in life, regardless of whether or not the people around me support that.

[amirUddin]

The fact that I came across this video exactly when I needed it, and the fact that just hearing these words have now shifted my mindset today for the better is so amazing

[Iistener]

Been coming to terms in trying to fully realize this as a truth the past few months. Getting a job has certainly helped with getting it across and practicing it but that last comment cemented it if I reflect on recent events. I had a falling out with friends because I didn't feel appreciated enough. In trying to convince others of my value I ended up stressing over my relationship, burning out, and eventually feeling frustrated in everyday conversation which showed in my attitude and actions. Thankfully after two months I was able to gain the confidence to live for myself which has been one of the biggest, positive changes in my life so far. I was able to resew those friendships and to balance living for myself without expecting anything from them. Thanks again, Dr. K.

Tbh all the videos relating to Buddhism what with Dharama, meditation and ego became fully realized when I decided to look further into Buddhism and realized that I already had achieved full self realization of some of the noble truths, and if not, an already strong understanding in the mindset.

[Arado]

So what I take from this is that I just need to be confident and put in the work to have the best chances of getting the girl that I want rather than endlessly rack my brain over how she might possibly have interpreted my past- and will interpret my future actions, which will act as a self-fulfilling prophecy and actually negatively impact my chances with her.

[SpookyTimestamps]

I "knew" this for years after hearing it but it wasn't until fairly recently that is really start to sink in. And it's so incredibly liberating to finally start to get it.

[evanwetzel]

Needed to hear this exact message. Thanks Dr. K.

[equitime]

I was told by the physicatrist (dyslexic spelling) that diagnosed me as autistic that writing in a journal/diary would help. Well, I write inspiring, life changing, helpful things in it as I keep fighting the things in my head and life. This short had just gone in it to remind me in ok. Especially when my grown up children will have nothing to do with me etc. Thank you. I really enjoy your content, it helps so much.

[Flakey]

"We have rights to our labor, not the fruits of our labor." -Krishna

[audenisarat]

goddamn ive been telling that to everyone when theyve vented but i dont think ive ever looked at "you can only control your actions" in the way you described it, and i dont think ive ever realized how much i needed to hear those words

[mmsis]

So we can do our best and be happy with just that because outside of ourselves shit just happens despite our efforts.

[dissident]

I have been actively kicked down by so many people while I did my best that I have to be defensive to not die.

[reacher]

One of the best snipets from you sir. Thanks

[Bloodark]

I wonder if this is why doctors are often appear "cold". To both protect themselves from being too attached to patients where they have to sometime respect the choices they make which the doctors knew are not the wisest choices, and to not give any reaction to patient where the patient may interpret negatively (because people are sensitive these days).

[Brixxmin]

do you think that having this mindset could also be a negative thing because then you always think whatever you’re doing is best even if its not?

[rosannarichardson]

Other people not recognizing your value can hurt you though

[saahithiyammanuru]

I just hope my boss realizes this because sometimes projects fall apart. It has nothing to do with me doing a shit job or worked very hard but poorly nature of the customer I am dealing with, who just doesn’t want to engage. But na… I get all the negative reviews. I hate corporate bcz of this.

[RioRav]

Thats great and all but I'm disabled and these people control my ability to eat and have a roof over my head so I can't stop thinking about what they want from me and focus on what makes me happy and actually I can't really control my actions when I am unhappy either so it's a real vicious circle.