The Real Reason You're Attracted To Unavailable Men (&How To Get Guys Commit To You!)

----------The Real Reason You're Attracted To Unavailable Men----------------

So you’re noticing a pattern. You meet these unbelievably sexy guys you really like but there’s always something keeping you two apart. What’s going on? You two are a perfect match so why won’t he stick around?

1.You don’t value yourself

This is similar to the reason that many women date so-called bad boys. If you don’t like “nice guys”, it can often be because you feel like anyone who would treat you well must not be very valuable themselves. This can be because of low self-esteem, how we’ve been treated in the past, or any number of factors. So when a guy comes along who is ready and willing to be with you, it’s often like he’s invisible. This is a pattern that’s hard to break.

2.You’re not available

It’s easy to blame the other person and never face our own behaviour. This way we never have to change. But look back at the ways that men can be unavailable. Do any of these apply to you? Are you still hung up on an ex? Are you working 80 hours a week? You want a boyfriend but do you actually have room for a guy in your life?

3.You don’t know what you want

There are as many types of relationships as there are guys. Dating a guy who wants something casual when you want marriage is just another way to date someone emotionally unavailable. But even worse, you might not even know what you want. This creates tension between you two because you’re expecting him to not only fulfill your needs, but also to figure out what your needs are.

4.You’re scared

You’re afraid to take the relationship to the next level. As much as you complain that you two can’t be together, there’s some part of you that feels more comfortable this way. If you never get to really be together, you never really have to have your heart broken or risk anything.
This is why you’re attracted to guys who won’t give you the time of day. It’s crazy the lengths our minds will go to protect us. But when you realize you’re holding yourself back, you can find the strength to move forward.

5.You’re making excuses
This is a pretty common one as well. It’s possible you’re the one keeping you two apart. If he’s married or won’t return your phone calls, then he’s obviously unavailable but there are plenty of guys who are somewhere in the middle. Don’t let the fact that he got out of a relationship a few months ago or the fact that you two work in the same office be an excuse to avoid trying. Before you give up all hope, make sure you know for sure that it can’t happen.

So you’ve figured out your problem. Now how do you put a stop to this pattern?

There are plenty of ways to love yourself and improve your confidence. Just know that this is a long process that doesn’t happen overnight. But here are some possible first steps:
-Self-care—there’s a reason everyone is talking about it. Changing up your skincare routine, your makeup or your hair can be the confidence boost you need to start feelings more like yourself.
-Take up a hobby. Feeling ineffective and motionless can quickly become a feeling of worthlessness. Get out there and do something. Hobbies are a great way to get yourself moving and get feelings of accomplishment.
-Do something nice for yourself, every day. This can be as simple as watching an episode of a tv show you like, going for a walk, or getting a fancy coffee. These may be things you do every day but do them mindfully and without guilt or judgment. Tell yourself “I deserve this” and pretty soon you’ll start to feel that way.

Here are some other things you can do to break this cycle.

Figure out what you want. Think about your ideal relationship. How often do you want to see one another? How serious is it? How do they support you? Where do you live? What does your life together look like? You don’t need to have a house and white picket fence picked out but if you know the relationship that you want and need then it will be easier to go after it.

Be up front with guys when you first start dating about what you’re looking for. It’s good to speak generally about what you’re looking for out of a relationship. This can avoid a lot of miscommunication and missed expectations.

So there you have it. Unavailable guys aren’t always a dead end if you know what to do. Do you have a story about a guy who strung you along for awhile before finally committing? Leave it in the comments below. I’m sure your fellow viewers will thank you. Bye!

[sumari]

thank you dear Amy for being so straight and honest with us..
you're so pretty and smart :-*

[AmaLoveGoddessTV]

I've finally passed this stage. They are attracted to me but im not attracted to unavailable men anymore.

[capybobara]

Value yourself!! Know your worth!! Don't settle for less!!

[jackiemiller]

I don't believe there is anything we can say or do to create powerful feelings of love in someone else. If it's not there naturally I feel like it's manipulation to try to change him by saying or doing something scripted.

[lavayuki]

Im always attracted to the good looking guys who usually happened to be bad boys and players

[kellybowe]

Damn this is so me working 80 hours a week single 35 and to damn independent I'm depriving myself of a good relationship or maybe it's not time for me to move on just yet

[sheshe]

This video really helps a lot. Thank youuuu! Wishing you more subscribers.

[patriciasmith]

All of this true. I was with an unavailable man, yep married. He had me on a schedule with out my permission or knowledge at 1st. I soon caught on that he was stringing me.

[radicalhonesty]

processing
processing
processing
as I watch this video,


and everything that arises in me,

is unbearable and painful...




the pain of the loneliness,

the grief, the terror, the heartache,

the despair:

it's like a 999-million pound weight

on top of my chest.




death is all I long for.

escape from feeling.

escape from thinking.

total and complete escape

is all I so desperately long for.




I am paralyzed.



I am traumatized.




and as the nighttime comes,

I count down the minutes, excruciatingly slow...

'til I can be tired enough to pass out, and fall asleep...



agony
agony
agony,

every passing moment:

sheer agony.




the nighttime hours bring the most unbearable,

most unthinkable, most unimaginable pain

of drowning desperation.






my soul is tortured: raped.

I am breathless in this internal suicidal horrible hell.



please Lord, let me die.





I pray only for death,
and nothing else.

[kristinosada]

Ive been super close friends with a man Ive known for years. We moved in as roommates together and eventually... Things happened . before this I completely trusted him, he professed his love and want to eventually marry me dozens of times, tried to kiss me ... Till I finally came round and was thwn asked to be fwb. I told him I couldnt do that, I already loved him . I wouldnt be able to stop from allowing that love to deepen. He said it would be fine, said he wouldnt hurt me ... 9 months later his ex moves in just to get on her feet. Thank god Im not stupid and I figured it out and called him out on it.
When I did, he says hed been able to be this way from years of serious abuse.

How the F##k! Did that one get past me radar. I am very giving but, so is he. The way things were progressing, I felt like we were in a relationship, slow but Im all about hyper speed. Which is not a good speed.
Im aware Im a typical people pleaser but, come on

[loganfeiler]

I initially watched this because I know someone like this. However, I quickly realized that the advice given is actually good for anybody looking for a relationship and regardless of which gender you are.

[margaritam.]

My problem is that even nice guys take me for granted.

[musicgirl]

I’d never go after a taken or married man. But I found this interesting to watch!

[evilvet]

stop going after super hot, super perfect guys. they get women throwing themselves at them all the time, it's hard for that dude to give all that free stuff up and settle down. until they start to get old, ugly, or past prime. date guys around or slightly below your league. the problem is, YOU identifying what YOUR league is, and being realistic about it.

[livenoob]

All of these are correct but number two should be number one, honestly. A lot of women don't want to settle down but they need someone else to be accountable for that.

[indisingh]

My guy is busy with work, live far away and has a girlfriend but we r friends as he always say So I'm just chilling

[ladyofspa]

Great begining ...just add more than bubble baths and watch Netflix to value yourself. We have to Get real and get deep. It requires getting in touch with your feelings, thoughts, beliefs about who you really are and paying attention to the whole self how you love yourself, you must reparent, reprogram yourself to always do what's best for you, while being kind and respectful to others. You must forgive you and others and move. Loving the whole self requires never ignoring feelings, not abandoning yourself for another. There's alot of work but it can be fun and scary. Good 🤞 luck

[Ytremz]

The “attraction barrier” is so much higher for women than men, because women are more selective than men. The majority of guys are average, these guys become invisible. The guys who surpass this “attraction barrier” tend to be in high demand, and thus, physically/emotionally unavailable.

[manviroy]

when men say sry after one month for his mis behave with me
Then what we do???

[indhumathiv]

Hey Amy... can u please make a video on how to make him to realise ur value