The High Price We Pay for Our Fear of Loneliness

We often make some very peculiar and regrettable choices on the basis of a hidden and unmentioned fear: that of being alone. But once we realise that there isn't, in fact, anything to fear about being on our own, we'll be liberated to make some far healthier decisions.


FURTHER READING

“It’s not hard to understand the fear of being alone: the empty apartment after work, the eerieness of Sunday afternoons, the sense of exclusion during the holidays… We know the agonies of being on our own very well.

What is far less well understood, and less eloquently or frequently described, is the enormously high price exacted on the other side of the equation. The fear, or more often simply the phobia, of being alone is perhaps responsible for more unhappy relationships, more throttling of psychological development, more claustrophobia and more pent up misery than almost any other: it is – by any reckoning – one of the single greatest contributors to human misery and the driver of some of our weightiest and most unfortunate decisions. If only we were able to get the costs of what is for the most part a simple misapprehension clear in our minds, we might save ourselves a substantial portion of our lives…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Natalia Ramos

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[theschooloflifetv]

Do you often make decisions controlled by a fear of loneliness? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to turn on notifications to ensure you don't miss our next film.

[joecaner]

The loneliest I've ever been is when I've been in relationships that weren't working.

[MarcoSanderCoaching]

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain

[ludovicpaulself-helpmore]

Paradoxically, those who build the best relationships are those who don't need them.

When you need a relationship, you ruin it with the pressure you put on yourself and the other person.

[laowaistudieschina]

I'm 54 and never married, no kids. I live alone, and I have gotten to like the person I live with. I wish I had learned to do this long ago. If you're single, learn to like yourself before you go looking for a partner.

[dessertspring]

A lot of people are not looking for love, they are looking for help

[Daysed.and.Konfuzed]

"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone.
It's not.
The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
- Robin Williams

[ossen]

Never forget: *It's better to be alone, than in a wrong company.*

[JohnSmith-ctjd]

So true. Being an introvert is underrated. When I was growing up, I was pressured to "have more friends." Now, I realize that that advice was terribly wrong and cost me much happiness. The vast majority of people do not care about you. You should be careful whom you consider as friends. Life is not a popularity contest like people in high school think. Only worry about what the people who are important in your life think. Having one or two really good friends is much better than being "popular."

[Jonibonie]

It‘s creepy how they release a video on a topic that you‘re experiencing right in that same moment omg

[Me]

The loneliest I ever felt was during the years I was married.

When you’re with the wrong person, you’re not available when the right one comes along.

[johnmosbrook]

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone"-- Blaise Pascal

[leowong]

I almost cried when he said there is nothing wrong with being alone. I use to feel like I was a weirdo, unsociable, unlikable person. But turns out being alone is just waiting for someone right to come along. I’m at peace now

[pleximanic]

“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.”

― Nikola Tesla

[PANKAJKUMAR-jirh]

“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters” - Friedrich Nietzsche

[veryskeptical]

"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."

Robin Williams

[nygrl]

I've learned to be happy alone. Going out to eat, going to a concert, eating cereal or popcorn for dinner. It's nirvana compared to the two miserable marriages I was in. Me and my cat. Happy at last.

[mehdin]

It's New Year and everyone is out partying and here I am at home, eating and watching videos on YT.
Tbh I feel at peace and even finished a really good book.

[gothicsnowangel]

"One is always at the mercy of the one who fears loneliness less"
This line really made me realise some things.

[hothamandfauri]

"It's better to be alone, than to be with someone who makes you feel alone".