the sins of my youth - came home in a rainstorm (music video)

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I made this to process the past year which has been both, the most beautiful and saddest year of my life. guess it’s time to stand up, put the pieces back together and move on. nunc cœpi.

composed, written and arranged by jonathan von holst.
recording, engineering, analog mix and mastering by juanfe rehm at tricone studios, funkhaus berlin.
all instruments played by jonathan von holst.

filmed in jamaica, vietnam, germany, usa, switzerland, spain, cambodia, thailand, china and argentina, 2014–2022. thanks to constantin becker, elisabeth s., mr. vu, edda, my parents, abbot aloysius althaus osb, maria h., tim schneider, chelsea von holst, tobias schiffels, samuel mielke, juanfe rehm, institute st. philipp neri, demo für alle, marius kühn, frater isidor osb, ilan amores, marian sittart, the bilats, society of st. pius x, david balbina, andré b., ivy, stefan telegdy, franziska t., father ulrich engel op, julia weichinger, mr. john denning, dr. ines von witzleben, father stephan kessler sj and saint Joseph.

lyrics:

I'm not at home
I'm living in a bee swarm
I'm not alone
there are little wingy creatures flying around inside my head
and in my hands
and in my arms
hands in my stomach

would u know me
if I came home
in a rainstorm?
I'm not there yet
I'm living in a dream inside a swarm of butterflies
so I'm not alone
no

light times are gone
there are bugs and moths and tongues of fire everywhere
they're in my thoughts
and in my sleep
and I am stumbling, I am struggling, I am running and I fail
but I'm not alone
there are ladybugs and snails and slugs inside my bed
and in between my memories
of u and me