Advice for D&D DMs: Be on the Players' Side

Mike offers his thoughts and advice for D&D DMs on how to work *with* players instead of against them to run awesome D&D games.

# Core principles

- Working *with* the players, not against them.
- You're not a competitor.
- The DM is an antenna to another world. We're the vehicle for storytelling.
- We're not the baddies. We're not our villains. We're not on the opposite side of the chess board.
- We're *fans* of the characters (Thanks Dungeon World!)
- The players understand about half of what's going on.
- The characters understand far more than the players do.
- The characters are smart and skilled in their roles. They have knowledge the characters do not.
- Fun doesn't mean just upward beats, it means risk and reward, upward and downward beats. Hard situations and hard meaningful decisions.

# The DM's Job

- Build the situation around the story, not around the characters.
- Clarify that situation to the players. We're their eyes and ears.
- Help them meet their intent.
- Let the dice complicate things. They are the cold-hearted arbiter of the results of the situation.
- Balance acting true to the situation with the fun of the game; leaning towards fun and away from things that are *not* fun.
- The world and the story puts the characters in hard situations. The DM helps the characters make informed choices to navigate those situations.

# Examples

- Warn them when they're walking into a potentially deadly situation.
- Assume characters that aren't involved in investigating a trap aren't putting themselves at risk.
- Let characters move that extra five feet if they can't quite get up to a monster.
- Ask the characters to make a group stealth check even if they don't ask for it if it makes sense that they'd be sneaking.
- Use characters passive scores to locate secret doors.
- Ask "are you sure" when they're doing something that clearly won't work or is clearly dangerous.
- Let players roll back spells cast if their character would know that it clearly wouldn't have worked. "A 1st level sleep spell won't be powerful enough to put them to sleep."
- Ask for the players intent and help them reach it.
- Offer deals: "You can make a DC 16 Intelligence (Arcana) check to channel energy from the unstable arcane node. On a success, enemies will have disadvantage on their saving throws against your spell. Fail and you'll take 2d10 force damage."
- Remind the players about advantageous terrain.
- Give players hints and clues about puzzles their characters would clearly understand.
- Remind players of things their characters would likely remember.
- Use skill checks and the characters' backgrounds go offer clues and tips.
- In complicated situations, offer strategic recommendations the players may not recognize.
- Remind players of impending dangers: "You have two rounds left before the orcish hoard falls upon you".
- Remind the players about items their characters possess that they may have forgotten.
- Offer suggestions for spell uses players might not remember or consider.
- Give characters inspiration or advantage when they take risky moves that move the story forward.
- Offer alternatives: "You can charge the first one and attack or you can ready your attack for the first one to charge up to you and stay close to your protecting paladin."
- Clarify impossibilities: "Hard as you might try, this door is beyond your capability to break down.

# Work With Your Players

- D&D is a cooperative game and we're part of that cooperative.
- We have to know when to let bad things happen.
- Build trust with the players. Don't violate it. Be on their side. Avoid "gotcha"s.
- The world is cruel, you are not.

[SupergeekMikeDowntime]

Brennan Lee Mulligan said something similar - he considers himself the good cop, and the dice are the bad cop. Once the battle begins, he basically says, “Listen, I did everything I could to help. Now it’s up to the dice.” Because you are still playing a game with your friends.

[ChristnThms]

I use the phrase, "Your character would know..." quite often. I hadn't really thought it through like you explain it. I just figured it was a good way to bridge the communication challenges that are inevitable in a fast paced game.

[OffbrandGandalf]

Clarifying intent is such great advice, I find myself using it at the other side of the table. When I get a chance to play, I'll catch myself starting to ask the DM a series of questions about the environment or whatnot. Instead of rambling on, I just tell them what I'd like to accomplish. Nine times out of ten, the DM will immediately snaps back with an appropriate roll, or else we all think up some new course of action that's actually possible. Clarifying intent definitely saves everyone a lot of time and back-and-forth frustration.

[danielnimitz]

"The dice are the enemies. I can relate to that statement lol!

[TonyCrenshawsLatte]

One of the DMs I played for did the exact opposite. He was a super stickler for what the party declared or not, so if we forgot to declare something which he deemed important, then he would gleefully punish us for it. Emphasis on "gleefully." ("You didn't list a tent among the supplies you are gathering before venturing out, so you must rest out in the open and roll CON save every night to not suffer exhaustion from the cold. You can push forward like this, or you can go back to the town to get the tent. But if you go back, you won't make it to the evil lair in time to stop the ritual.")

That experience is really allowing me to take your lesson to the heart. :D

[ThePlayercoach]

This is one of THE best D&D videos I’ve ever watched. It also spills over into the meta gaming issue. Sometimes my argument for meta gaming is that the characters know more than the players. And sometimes that’s ok. ! Or even talking during a battle. Or talking a bit out of turn.

[RIVERSRPGChannel]

I agree you should not be out to get the characters or try to kill them all. You should root for the players

[Marcus-kien]

As an OG (Original Grognard) and DM since 1979, I must tell you well done. I have always run my game as a conduit between the players the the world situation. It is us against the situation, not them against me. The ultimate goal is for the players to have fun. If they don't have fun long enough, you won't have any players.

[TheShoo]

Omg! I was telling my sister this yesterday: the DM is not the enemy, the dice are.
I feel validated :)

[largefella]

Me running Tomb of Horrors: *like that's ever gonna happen.*

[CritAcademy]

Yup. We are always supposed to secretly be on their side. :)

[RyanLabrie]

We had a large conversation about this recently. The thing we came too was nudge things towards fun & interesting but have consequences for some actions

[dsan]

I try to DM with this in mind, some wise advice I heard: "The more dangerous something is, the more obvious it should be." That way, players can make relatively informed decisions.

[comaco]

So very helpful, as I have often forgotten the fact that I am not my players enemy.

[altorrickriver]

As someone who likes to DM and also host craps nights with the same group of friends, that comparison sparks joy ❤️

[solarisdevorak]

I always have looked at it like this. I'm a facilitator to my friends. I facilitate the best game I can possibly give them however that may be. I am crafting the story but I'm crafting the story with them in mind. They are not spectators to my grand story that they can be privileged to be a part of. I'm facilitating a backdrop and a stage for my players to shine.

[ThePlayercoach]

Great to know I’ve been doing things well now and again in this regard!! Good confirmation

[HowtoRPG]

Good advice for playing with new and beginner players.

[myvlogme]

Not about this video in particular, Just wanted to say thanks for all your content, I've watched your full Saltmarsh series and incorporated a ton of your ideas and it's always added value. I finally decided to buy your material on sale today, keep rollin!

[Silkspar]

So much of what you are describing, I think, can be addressed by thinking of it in terms of resolution. The players have the worst resolution of what is happening, they only know what is happening from the DM. The DM has (almost) perfect resolution and it's the DMs job to act as a lens to bridge that resolution gap as much as possible and bring a situation into better focus for the players.

I wonder if some DM's fixation with "meta gaming bad!" contributes to poor DM-ing in this regard?