How To Talk Dirty In The Bedroom: What To Say To Turn Them On

Most people tend to avoid talking in the bedroom because they worry about saying something their partner doesn’t like, feeling like a poor imitation of a pornstar, or just not knowing what to say. Today we’re teaching you how to talk dirty.

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If we haven’t met before, hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander Marin, and we’ve been together since 2007. Vanessa’s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander’s a regular dude who’s here to show you that you don’t need a graduate degree or license to have extraordinary intimacy. We co-authored the New York Times best selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, and we have a business that helps couples keep the spark alive in long-term relationships.

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[Dory-wrqb]

I feel "talking dirty" is great. The poster above said something about loving vs dirty talking. If you feel the
love, the dirty talking is an
obvious extension of that love. Have fun.

[caroljones]

It’s really not dirty talking.. it’s normal comments about what you are feeling with the other person or would like to have or how they look in your eyes… there is nothing dirty about that.. it’s loving conversation before during and after sharing live

[Queenandrrrih]

I've been so guilty that I initiated the sex talk with my boyfriend, and he was so excited and I can tell that I got to know him in another way and we were both having fun.

[joshwhitney]

I luv dirty talk . Drives my partner wild . Changes your entire relationship.

[romeobodeodo]

When I think about talking "dirty", the language is so much more graphic and the words I'd use are words I wouldn't use in other contexts. That said, because of the raw nature of the word choice, I find it particularly difficult to get loose with it. I guess the best way to approach it is to talk with your partner about it ahead of time.

[The-Powertree-Alchemist]

I love the video. I was literally just thinking about this and it poop up. I think the word ‘dirty’ is what puts people off. I do support changing the word, because realistically it isn’t dirty. Thumbs up if you agree we should change the phrase into something different maybe ‘intimate talking’ or butterfly language I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ just not labelling it negatively 😍😇

[nicolerobertson]

My lover had a dream about me being aggressive with him in bed and he asked me to talk dirty to him so now I’m here

[Lmay]

Tip: if you haven’t already discussed the fantasy, bringing it up for the first time during sex can be a huge turnoff if it’s not your interest.

[valiaudet]

This type of talk can start when foreplay begins. Could start at the breakfast table before running out the door. On the dance floor or or subway before you head off in different directions. 😊

[bernadettedunn]

I’m not new to dirty talk. I find that if I use every day words and describe what I’m feeling and where it’s making me feel that way, I get more of what I want. I use all the naughtiest words. And I walk the walk of dirty talk.

[sophiedark]

I am very modest. Thinking of these things for the future when i get married is in itself super difficult when I try to talk about this with my besty I just choke up and turn red, and my heart starts beating super duper fast, she realized that and asked if i had issues with intimacy.... but I don't I want it I just get extremely shy thinking about it, I really don't want to creep my future partner off or disappoint him, so I went to see a psychiatrist to work on that so far i can only refer to the thing as yours .... i will definitely improve and become more daring and hopefully sexy 🤭 thank you for this video I really appreciated it ❤

[katiesudhalter]

Love dirty talk! And I think it’s important to be unconditionally listening to your partner when some dirty talk or names/titles are an emotional trigger. Love this!

[Sirens]

It's about being playful, sensual & my motto, but looking forward to listening 🎶 to what this will bring....

[lynj]

I have never been one to talk dirty but since I met the right person whose favorite cuss word is fuck, I have really opened up -- maybe too much. LOL

[sanaraweerakoon]

You both make a such wonderful couple 🥺❤️plus thanks a lot for doing this 😊

[natashagee-miller]

Ahhhh tell me more. That's a really nice one. This is really informative, and it's nice to normalize it

[KetinaShekina]

I prefer loving talking instead of dirty talking.

[katherineolson]

Dirty talk for us starts way before we’re making love
We talk dirty texting, on the phone and it’s all natural in bed
Teasing
Complimenting
Say what u like
Ask what they want
Whispers

[jb]

My wife and I, are together 30 years, we have always talked dirty, we can say anything to each other

[dickknisley]

you guys are great keep up the good work