How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful: The Harvard Business Review Guide

Just agreeing with your boss (or your boss’s boss) feels easier, but it’s often better to voice your disagreement. HBR's Amy Gallo shows how.

00:00 Let’s say you disagree with someone more powerful than you. Should you say so?
00:30 Before deciding, do a risk assessment
01:39 When and where to voice disagreement
02:20 What to say ...
04:00 … and how to say it
05:38 Ok, let’s recap!

How exactly do you voice dissent with your superior? And is it always worth it to do so? First, weigh the risk of pushback or a negative reaction from a boss against the risk of not speaking up. If you do decide to voice your opinion, there are some best practices to keep in mind. State your opinions as facts, avoiding using judgment words. In addition, ask permission to dissent instead of offering an unsolicited opinion. Keep in mind that the final decision is still in the hands of your boss, but being honest and respectful will show them that they have more options.

Reading list:

How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful than You

How to Disagree with Your Boss

Say No Without Burning Bridges

Produced by Amy Gallo, Scott LaPierre, and Jessica Gidal
Video by Andy Robinson
Edited by Jessica Gidal
Design by Riko Cribbs and Karen Player

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[crazycool]

I'm impressed that this video acknowledges the real world possibility of having a vindictive boss.

[mlsailly]

One thing I have done as the head of Communications is said “my job is to protect your reputation and the reputation of the company. With that in mind I am sharing this feedback”

[CASD]

I've tried all these on the list and I can attest that you will never be right in the eyes of a narcissist.

[BusterDarcy]

I’m a VP and I want anyone at any level to disagree with me at any time, and I would do the same with anyone above or below me. Clarity is kindness and if you don’t agree you need to be clear about that. We don’t have time to wait for someone to work up the courage and find the right time. The right time is always now, when the discussion is happening. If we live in fear of raising our voice we put the entire company at risk. Just say what you think and be ready for an ensuing discussion so we can all gain greater clarity.

[EugeneKhutoryansky]

You should be able to disagree with your superiors in the exact same way that you disagree with everyone else. If you can't speak your mind freely, then this is probably not a place you want to work at. Also, if you wait to express your opinion, in many cases the bad idea / wrong direction ends up building momentum and it becomes much harder to stop later on.

[MrDodiasuki]

I have a formula for giving our opinion in a fair manner. It's called ABCD
A. Approve. Give nod and interest when you hear other people. I.e: "ok..."
B. Breakdown. Ask the detail about their message or opinion and make sure that you have same point to discuss and reconfirm the point as the goals of the idea is also good so you can have a same page situation
C. Compare. After you have breakdown the opinion and state the goal, then you can give them your disagreement or your different notion.
D. Decide. Make a final statement for you to give them the decision depend on who is the one who has the decision.

[nickhickley]

"How to do all of the emotional heavy lifting for the powerful man above you who has never, in his life, had to emotionally regulate himself for the sake of connection."

[FMFvideos]

I live in north korea and my boss is this chubby guy who thinks he owns the place. Tomorrow I'll tell him what I think about this place. Wish me luck guys!

[loudloveen]

This really works. When I was a young and inexperienced lawyer I had to appeal to a judge in her private chamber. In the end I said it was her decision. I was very humble and respectful. She wasn't my boss, but it's a similar scenario.

[billydean]

Sounds like how you disagree can be just as important as disagreeing.

[gracieofgod]

It’s cute how many people in the comments don’t think they need to learn these skills because they can talk to their supervisors as equals. I’m glad so many people have lived such a blessed life so far. Thank you for sharing these tips with those of us who do need them.

[meadpro]

When my superior demands an unrealistic timeline, I just report sick.

[dvillegaspro]

Step 1: surround yourselves with humble authority figures that don’t have god complexes and actually care about you and value your opinions

[fluxfaze]

My favorite approach to persuading a boss was to plant an idea worthy of pursuit in my boss’s mind then wait. Eventually that idea would surface as the boss’s idea who would then take credit for coming up with it, but I would get what I wanted, frequently accompanied by a sweet bonus.

[jessepasley]

Never disagree and then change jobs every few years. That way you neither cause confrontation nor do you have to live with the consequences of management making bad decisions. Good for my paycheck, but bad for investors. Tough shit.

[TremblingQualifier]

#3 in the if/when/where can cause someone to go in mental loops if they overthink it. Make a decision at some point and have self-compassion. #2 in the how can lead to be getting taken advantage of, so just be careful. Otherwise, great and sensible tips!

[michaelrubio]

Great tips. I think it’d be great if managers had this discussion with their staff at the outset 🙌🏻

[Kriti]

Love the role play u did - pls dial this more as it helps to see those words said out loud

[abolhassantajfar]

Great tips, beautiful presentation, but of course we should remember the importance of "culture" and "the person we are going to disagree with". 👍

[PascaleMarin]

Disagreeing with someone was never a boxing match, no matter where you stand in the hierarchy