Dangers of Talking About Others' Feelings in Japanese

田中さんはビールが飲みたいです。
息子は犬が怖いです。
These are very common "unnatural expression" that non-Japanese natives often make. In Japanese, it sounds weird if you express other's feeling assertively. You are not the person, how can you be so sure about the feeling one has?

[kanamenaito]

Examples transcript:

田中さん…、私、田中さんのことが好き！
俺も好きだよ！
こころ
こわい…。
わたしはこわい…。(weird)
いたい。
いたたたた！いたい！いたい！
なんかこの部屋、誰かいる感じする。わたし、なんか怖い！

うちの息子、暗いところがこわいです。(weird)
うちの息子、暗いところがこわいみたいなんですよね。
こわがっています。
うちの息子、暗いところがこわいです。(weird)

ノンアルコールビールはおいしくないと思います。

父はノンアルコールビールがおいしくないと思っています。

ディズニーランドに行きたいです。
うちの娘、ディズニーランドに行きたいです。(weird)
うちの娘、ディズニーランドに行きたいみたいなんですよね。
うちの娘、ディズニーランドに行きたがってます。

うちの娘、ディズニーランドに行きたいです。(weird)

うちの息子、任天堂Switchが欲しいです。(weird)

うちの息子、任天堂Switchが欲しいです。(weird)



田中さん、昨日のパーティーどうだった？楽しかった？
はい、すごく楽しかったです。

田中さんは、昨日のパーティー楽しかったです。(weird)
田中さん、昨日のパーティーすごく楽しかったみたいですよ。
田中さん、昨日のパーティーすごく楽しんでたみたいですよ。

山田さん。はい、これ！プレゼント！

山田さん、すごく嬉しかったです。(weird)
山田さんすごく喜んでいました。
山田さんはすごく喜んでいました。
山田さんは嬉しかったです。(weird)

好きなんですよ。

好きです、怖いです、羨ましいです、いやです


うちの母は魚とか海鮮が好きです。

あの、ご主人は何か趣味とかあるんですか？
ああ、うちの主人は釣りが好きです。

主人は松田聖子が大好きです。
主人は松田聖子の大ファンです
主人は松田聖子に夢中です。

私の主人、うちのメイドが好きです。
主人はメイドが好きです。
主人、うちのメイドに惚れてるみたいなんですよ。

あ、もしもし、内藤探偵事務所です。


…
あなた、昨日の夜何やってたの？


なんかこれ、うちのメイドの鈴木さんの家みたいじゃない？
それは…。

……ごめん。
「ごめん」って何が？
わかった。…認めるよ、俺、浮気してたこと。
ああ、そう？じゃあ私たち、さっさと別れましょう？


いやだ！俺、君と別れたくない！やっぱり別れたくない！

うちの旦那別れたくない。
うちの旦那別れたくなかった。
彼、私と別れたくないって言ってた。
彼、私と別れたくなかったみたい。
彼、私と別れたくなかった。

それではみなさん、今日の動画はここまでです！
え！待って！先生！私先生と別れたくない！

ということでみなさん、さようなら！

[TrainfanJanathan]

"I cannot express his feelings because I am not my son." I couldn't have said it better myself. So many times when I was a kid, I'd tell my parents "I'm hungry" or "I'm thirsty." And they'd say, "You're not hungry" or "You're not thirsty." One day, I said, "How do you know how _I_ feel?" And they gave me this look like "You better not say that again."

I always said that if I ever have children, I'm never going to tell them how they don't feel.

[Topboxicle]

I wasn't expecting a Japanese grammar lesson to end with a soap opera skit, or that I would be invested in the outcome, just for it to return to 'now this would be weird because it's expressing the husband's feelings'

[DS]

This lesson is philosophical and psychological as well.

Really interesting.

[myuutosan]

Tanaka-san is constantly getting confessed to every episode 😂, somebody give this woman a break

[fastyfoxy]

appreciate how you talk about the little things noone else does.

[arsenic]

no sensei It's not what you think
I just accidentally clicked that other channel's Japanese videos
I can explain

[johnforde]

You've answered one of the words that my wife used, but I never understood. She would say that our dog was "kowagatteiru" about earthquakes and I didn't know the word. When she explained it to me, I understood, but wondered why she didn't just use kowai. Makes sense now.

[pikXpixelart]

This video shows your deep understanding of English, actually. Also, I was hoping you would make a video that describes the difference between how to use 喜ぶ and 嬉しい, because it was always something I was confused on! Now I recognize the difference, thanks.

[Carnables]

This idea of not directly expressing other people's feelings is really interesting. It makes me wonder how much this influences how Japanese people think of other people's feelings. I could be off on this but I imagine a lot of Japanese people would be more careful in assuming what another person feels unless directly told by them. In the very least, I imagine it makes it harder to put words in other people's mouths.

[kittyRail]

I love the drama of the example-- i was so invested. 😂❤❤❤

[LittleLulubee]

先生の “dramatic re-enactments” が大好きです ❤😂

[opalpersonal]

it seems kaname thinks it sounds weird when you assert someone else's feelings. /joke

i always love these videos, the emotive example conversations are so illustrative and helpful!

at least in america, people speaking english tend to speak as though they know other peoples' feelings or state their own assertively as if they're objective, which i think is actually a great detriment to all of us. i've seen it lead to much conflict. whenever i'm speaking i always try to hedge what i'm talking about with "in my opinion" or "i believe" to avoid that sort of confusion and assumption.

[Rubicon]

The third button on your shirt has fallen off to omoimasu

[anthonybeard]

This was NEVER explained or even pointed out to me before! I really appreciate how you explain both the grammar and the feelings associated with phrases like 「〜がる」 and 「〜たいみたい」. This sort of thing is what I find most helpful from your channel. I don’t know why no one else does this!

[hsiaoyunsuen]

For verbs like ガッカリする，落ち込むcan we use it directly to describe others’ feeling? Like 田中さんはすごくガッカリした。

[philin]

I love how you create entire dramas in your grammar vids

[keitaro]

Thank you!!!

Oh my god, lol, this really help!! 🤣🤣
I often forcing chatGPT to include "watashi" when translating my words, so when the japanese person i talked to read it, they know that i'm talking about "my feeling"

I noticed chatGPT translation is kinda always delete the subject. But its correct afterall, since you said adding watashi is weird, omg, lol, now i'm embarrassed at how many "Watashi" that i already said "weirdly"!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[watsonwrote]

I'm curious how this effects fictional narratives. When writing in 3rd person (in English, ) there are three different approaches. The omniscient narrator knows exactly what all characters are thinking and feeling, the limited narrator has insight into the thoughts and feelings of only one character, and the objective narrator can only describe what character are doing and appear to feel.

For example, "Bob and Alice felt sick looking at the ugly spectacle before them."

"Alice felt sick looking at the ugly spectacle before them. Bob looked like he might throw up."

"Bob and Alice stepped back from the ugly spectacle before them. Alice looked clammy and pale. Bob doubled over, seeming sick to his stomach."

In English, the first approach is the most popular, followed by the second. It's more space efficient to show the audience the inner feelings of the characters than to construct scenes where the audience must infer it.

Does Japanese approach narrative in a similar way, or is the expression of character's feelings more like spoken language?

[DaeberethwenArbenlow]

I've been studying Japanese on and off since 1995 (I lived there when I was little) and I never knew this! On the Dunning-Kruger effect line I'm in the valley of despair.