Aries - Original Song

Hello again world, I'm sorry my voice sounded a little rough, I've been overworking it a bit. That, and I've been a little sad. But all good things come to an end at some point, and I'm just trying to go through the motions in a healthy manner (keyword; trying). These are the growing pains everyone has to go through at some point. I know I've learned from this, and I will work on bettering myself for whatever the future may hold in store for me.
Regardless of the usual little stumbles that I make during recordings, I hope somebody out there can take comfort in this song. Thank you for listening 💕💕💕

Lyrics:
The day that we met, we both turned some shade of red
Blue eyes and hazel met, an awkward warmth bloomed in my chest
Oh we kissed for fun with friends but kissing you felt sweet, felt different
I wasn't counting in my head, I was just lost to the moment

And I don't know how to write love songs, so this one's coming a little late
The warmth’s still in my chest but now with a pit I cannot shake
Oh I thought that this was it cause it felt perfect in the moment
But now the road we're on has split and I'm just scared.

Scared.
Fuck I'm scared
You're not there
Oh god where--

What if can never fall in love again?
And what if you move on and forget i exist?
I feel so god damn small and insignificant
You're the first I've called love and really meant it
So this kinda fucking sucks right now.

How I love the passion you instill in every word you speak
And the charming way you tilt your hat, sweet aries, mercy please
I love the curve of your back when I'm holding you, we fit like puzzle pieces
And I could stare at you for hours til I’m buckled at the knees

I still can’t write love songs properly, so this one's rough but i’m impossibly
-in love with you and I’m terrified of change
I’ve been left behind before so I won't fancy that hurt again
I just want us to be good and find safe purchase in the end

I'm in mourning
Please ignore this
Every atom in my body is telling me that I am at fault
I feel stupid, barely one step forward, crying on this two way path
While every time I’m glancing up I’m looking at your back

What if you move on and fall in love again?
What if I’m not someone worth remembering?
I feel so, so so small and so ridiculous
You’re the first I've felt so safe with, and I made a mess of it
So this kind of really sucks.

Edit (1/17/23):
It's insane how much your perception of your the world around you change when you meet somebody that treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
The feelings I felt while writing this song were completely valid and exactly what I thought they were in the moment, but I have come to realize that I was not as comfortable and happy in that relationship as I thought I was.
I dated this person while I was still in the process of deprogramming and unlearning habits from years worth of trauma.
So when I jumped into dating this person, all of the red flags I should've noticed went completely unchecked because this person was more than a couple steps above the kind of relationship I had previously experienced.
I was so excited and enthralled by this charismatic, charming human being that I didn't stop to think that even though they were the polar opposite from the person who hurt me, doesn't mean they were a better person.
And in thst fumbling, I was hurt.

But thats just life. You meet people, you think they're great. They turn out not great. You learn, you hold a grudge for a little while (if you're like me), and then at some point, little by little the memory of this person matters less and less.

and through the bs, I met someone who treats me like their own little universe who I treat the same. and it is lovely
and it is good.

I have no bitter feelings about this song. maybe it was about someone who was not nearly as special as i initially thought they were.
but I hope it can touch the heart of somebody in the world that needs it. if this song can help heal one person in the world, just a little bit, or make somebody feel heard, then I'm happy.

[jragnfly]

My darling little beautiful soul.... you are so eloquent at expressing your feelings. Most of us can relate. You aren't alone in all the feelings you feel/have felt.💗