What to Get for a Cancer Patient

Oh!! And one more thing you can do…help the helpers. Whether that’s fun self-care products or reaching out to say you love them and they’re doing a great job. That’s what it seems like people mostly need. Cancer treatment is very hard…physically and psychologically. Knowing that I’m doing what needs to be done even if it really really sucks is extremely valuable.

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[VictoriaEMeredith]

Also, the people who dropped by just long enough to scoop the cat box every few days and take my garbage to the road were my heroes. Thanks, Carole and Heather!

[TheDanishGuyReviews]

Hello from a survivor to a future survivor!

[sophcw]

"friendships don't happen if you don't work on them" is such good advice that everyone needs to hear even if they aren't sick!!!

[Ashes]

My grandma finished radiation today and this is the exact video I needed. Thank you Hank, I hope you're feeling okay, and DFTBA

[SongHarmonizer]

As a person with chronic illness who has been the sick one people took care of and also the one not knowing how to support my aunt through her chemo, I agree with all this advice. Hank, may your Pringles be salty and never crumble when you use them to make a duck bill.

[AnnaTobias]

Hello Hank, I'm an oncology nurse and I want to save this video to send to all my patients' friends and family members each time they ask us this question on what they can do. Thank you for advocating for yourself and for so many other patients. You are living with this yet still choosing to focus on educating -- you are such a remarkable human and we are grateful for you.

[frequencysquared]

My bandmate had pancreatic cancer. It was painful to watch how totally clueless people could be. You are so right ask what they want. When we played WFMU he walked up four flights of stairs with his gear. It was important to him that he did that. He did his stuff on his own terms. Even the last time I saw him. He walked in. He was such a bad ass.

[lilykep]

My mom often gifts cleaning. She was a professional house cleaner for years so she'll go to the family and ask "What do you need cleaned that you don't have the energy for?". Pretty much everyone always has SOMETHING that bugs them but they don't have time for, and living in a clean house makes you feel better. She would usually go by once a week while the person was sick and clean whatever they needed cleaned and I'd go with her to keep the person company.

[SamuraiBonesie]

As someone who watched a parent suffer (and pass) from cancer, having my neighborhood, neighbors I had never actually met until my teens because of my mom's illness, coming together to help cook while my dad worked and made sure my mom got the care she needed was the biggest blessing my family's ever had. I'm glad you mentioned it first <3

[brynpookc]

Yes! When I was diagnosed with colon cancer I had one friend just go off on me because I’d agreed with my doctor to have surgery. Got a full lecture (in a very loud and insistent voice) that all I should do was eat healthy, drink lots of water and take lots of vitamins. Tried to explain to her that I had cancer throughout the colon, it wasn’t going to just disappear. She just kept lecturing me. I finally just left her house. She’d been the person I first wanted to share with. Never knew she was so anti-medical before. And, no. we no longer see each other.

[sarahcantwell]

Also if you want to give someone flowers, MAKE SURE THEY ARE SAFE FOR ANY PETS THEY MAY HAVE!!! Don’t add an emergency vet visit to their list of stress and expenses

[cassandra]

I was my mom's caregiver, she passed from stage 4 cancer.
I bought her plastic utensils and wood chopsticks, because she always had a metallic taste in her mouth from chemo. When I worked while she was getting her treatments, she would tell me what she was craving - so I showed up with what she was craving.
My sister would always come by with Taco Bell bean tostadas (that was her favorite since it was bland).
Always check in and get them whatever they want, it brings them so much joy for what they are going through.
(Oh, and please check in on caregivers - towards the end, I struggled just to take a shower. The people who would just sit with my mom just so I could have coffee and brush my hair were the absolute best!)

[apwhitney]

When my mother had cancer one thing that was very helpful is a friend took over the job of coordinating the people who were offering to help. She sorted out the schedule of who was bringing meals, who was giving us a lift to appointments, etc. That took a huge mental burden off of me.

[silverpony]

As someone who has autism, having it spelled out in such a crystal clear way is immensely helpful, more than you can know. Thank you.

[zedskidoodle]

Feels so good to see you talking about this. When my mother had cancer when I was a kid, she got so sick of people asking "Is there anything I can do?" that she wrote tasks down on little cards and got them to pick one. Things like going out with a shopping list to pick up our Christmas presents, or fold some laundry, or vacuum, or take us kids to the cinema. Offering to do something like that would be a good place to start, depending on how well you know the person.

[majak]

For about a year after I was considered cured of my cancer, every time I wasn't feeling good, my mind instantly went to "oh no, it's back". I know it wasn't a rational thought, and I have no idea how to stop it, but it is something to look out for.

[robotbutterflies]

I got a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis a few years ago. One of the most touching things for me was when a friend told me that they had read up on my disease. It felt like they really wanted to know what was happening with me, not just expressing sympathy. It meant a lot to me. Thanks Meghan ❤

[kzelz]

As a cancer daughter, and a cancer mom, this is all fantastic advice. My husband and I have said we have never felt more supported, but also so devastatingly alone than helping our now 5 year old through her treatment. Checking in, especially LATER is huge advice. You’ve got this, Hank!

[desieslonewolf]

My 9-year-old was diagnosed with cancer at the end of April. The day we got home from the hospital following her surgery was the day you made your announcement. Watching your videos, sometimes with her, sometimes on my own, has been so immensely helpful as we've navigated chemo and radiation and so on. I know you're tired and you feel like shit, she sure does, but these videos are doing real actual good for those of us going down this road too. I doubt that's the purpose of these, but damn if it isn't helping. Thanks and good luck through it all.

[WeldonGaming]

As a cancer survivor, you're spot on with your advice. One point you didn't cover, but i think is important. If you need pain meds to manage your pain, take your meds. Don't be "strong" or "I can stuff it out". If you're worried about taking any medication, talk to your doctors. Hoping for your speedy recovery. ❤