Ardal O'Hanlon did a runner #shorts

Ardal O'Hanlon asks for forgiveness for his sins.
Stream full episodes of Mel Giedroyc: Unforgivable for free on UKTV Play.
#Dave #shorts

[scully]

“We’ve all done it.” No, we haven’t.

[Aengus]

The GREAT RESTAURANT HEIST!

Being a true & faithful account of your author in times of hardship...

Me and GF, 19 & 17, a week to go until the giro came (Thatcher's Britain, early eighties) & we were starving! We'd eaten the whole sack of spuds (found 2 huge rocks in the bottom, they were meant to be our last meal), Co-op Silver margarine (16p a tub 🤢) and all the nettles within walking distance.
So I remembered my businessman uncle Brian telling us he'd found a baby slug on his lettuce in a posh, west end restaurant whilst entertaining a client.
He'd called the waiter over, didn't say anything just lifted the leaf & pointed. The waiter scooped up his plate, said "Thank you for being discrete, the meal is on us."

So, armed with this knowledge we headed off to Luigi's in Paignton via Victoria Park to find a slug.
It was pitch black & the only light was a Clipper. We hunted for ages, no slugs, but I did find a worm.
"That'll do!" I said as I pocketed the poor creature & we stomped off to the restaurant.
We ordered pate for starters with a carafe of house red.
Followed by Spag bol, side salad (important) & another carafe of house red.
We said we'd order our desserts later (because we knew we wouldn't be there) but half way through we had another carafe of red (Dutch courage).
I saved my side salad till last & I casually slipped the worm under... Oh, the salad was so exquisitely prepared that the worm was just a shade too big to go under anything. Bugger... No discrete pointing, I'd have to "discover" it.
By now we were both getting a little, erm... Expansive! I grasped the worm by one end & stood up. Much too quickly so I kind of staggered backwards knocking my chair to the ground.
The whole damned place went silent & everyone stopped eating & looked at me gently swaying in the middle of the restaurant.
I held the animal above my head & in a voice that sounded about 3 million times too loud I shouted "A WORM!".
I saw people push their plates away as the worm, probably panicked by the whole experience, started to elongate into the longest bloody earthworm on the planet!
I had to stay in character so I shouted (damn, that was meant to be quieter) "I DEMAND TO SEE THE CHEF! and I drunkenly lurched towards the kitchen swing doors.
I nearly fell through them & in the kitchen was the biggest, most muscular, seven feet of chef I'd ever seen in my life!
Under his chef's hat burned eyes so black & angry I looked down to avoid them. Past the huge, ginger bushy beard he had about 10 of his side salads obviously lovingly prepared with a massive cleaver!
I dropped the worm in the bin, my last image of the invertebrate was of it pushing through a mound of peelings & little bits salad that hadn't made the grade.
It looked like a worm from Dune, but instead of it crashing through sand dunes it was of the salad planet Arrakis!
I turned & staggered back out into the restaurant "Waiter, my coat! Come my dear, we'll find a better place to eat!" ( I was warming to my role now...)
We marched haughtily out the door and as I turned on to Hyde Rd. I caught a glimpse of the mountain of Chef coming through the kitchen doors, cleaver in hand, watched by the still silent diners.
We legged it into the park & the safety of darkness & watched the entire staff exit the restaurant & split into two groups. One went left, the other right. Luckily no one went straight over the road towards us!
Phew!
Once we got home, still giggling, still squiffy and as full & sleepy as overfed dormice we slept the sleep of kings!
Last time we ever did it. Looking back, we must've been bloody hungry! I can't imagine doing it now some 42 years later...

[PeppyZeb]

I am gutted to hear he was like this. An absolute theif. Its such a scummy thing to

[kelzuya]

Jesus some pearl clutching in these comments

[angelajones]

I love Ardal he was wonderful in Father Ted x

[syewilliams]

Good god I’m poor as 💩 and it’s never accure to me to just do a runner, dam honesty

[megspoetry]

Crying at the comments 😭 "hope he compensates his victims", Jesus. He was a kid. Sure it's not acceptable but you do this stuff, grow up and learn. I never did this, did much worse though

[TiffanyTwisted]

Cant imagine the mindset you must have to freely disclose this on national television.

[WeeFreddy]

Went to the restaurant without parents never went with parents 😢😢

[aidanduffy]

I'm sure paying gave him pizza mind for all the other times

[paulcheney]

Karma paying for everyone considering the strokes you had pulled

[gillie-monger]

Who's the bloke with the long blonde hair. I recognise the other guests but not him.

[bravo]

Grotty horrible man, I hope he tries to compensate his victims but looking at his attitude here it looks like he still considers it a minor thing. It isn't.
Many restaurants have fine margins and work very hard to keep their heads above water, and people like this can make the difference that causes them to close.

[KevInLancs]

Stop crying. Take into account the shows title 😂

[John-lpxh]

Look at all the lefties and the token having a cosy chat

[TheNibYeah]

All these SJW woke ignorant people on here. We all did silly things like this, it’s part of life?!